Heya. So my exam was yesterday. And it was bad. It's kinda gotten me to put my head in my hands and think of how bad I've gotten. :/ I don't know if I've said this, but this exam is IMPORTANT. I cannot fail this exam. If I fail it, then I will have to resit the paper in Autumn aka fly back in August and do it. I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. It'll be embarrassing, but most of all, it would be so horrible to let it be known to my parents how bad I've become. I was so unprepared for the exam, so I was so nervous.
Went up to the hospital at about 1.30pm. Then went to the reading room (the exam was at 2.30pm) and I studied a bit of materials, and then studied behavioural science for the first time. In hindsight, thank GOD I studied that man, seriously, if not I would've failed the paper for sure. Thank God Adib asked me to read a bit on Learning. OMGOSSSSSSSSHHH. I really got so lucky.
There were four sections to the paper: Dental Practice, Dental Materials, Behavioural Science, and Medical Ethics. I spent AGES memorising the essays for Medical Ethics, answered the first one alright, and the second one, BLANK. Hah. So depressing man. I did kinda write everything I could remember, but it was choppy and short and just disappointing because I was hoping to rely on that to get my points up. Then I did Dental Materials, they were ok, but didn't know the answer to 2 questions so I kinda just winged them. Then I finally looked at the first section and it's like. What man. I didn't know the answer to ANY of the questions. I only kinda knew the answer to 2 or 3 questions out of 12. So I just answered those, wrote crap for the rest of the others, and just laughed at how ridiculous ALL my answers were and how NOT FUNNY the situation was, because I while I was writing all that crap, I was just thinking about how I could really fail this exam. Did behavioural and wrote what I knew about classical conditioning. And it was the worst structured essay EVER. It's supposed to be 500-800 words long but I don't think mine reached 500. :/ But I knew I was writing stuff that was accurate, just the details were not very clear, and again about the structure. Zzzzzz. Really, thank goodness I did study that, with my fumbling in Materials and Ethics, the two sections I was counting on to let me pass, if it weren't for Behavioural, I really would've failed because I wasn't prepared at all for Section 1.
Why did I become so bad? I've never been so poorly prepared for an exam, and I can so do better. I know it's myself that's stopping me. And honestly, all the people who are saying "oh I'm sure you won't fail", you can't say that because you don't KNOW HOW IT GOES. I think people think I'm those secret studiers who goes "oh no I'm so unprepared" then they get 90 or something. No. I say it like it is. And I study smart, or well, I probably just get lucky a lot. I like to think that God is on my side, so He lets me get lucky and study the things that I NEED TO right on time. I remember in TTSS when ppl said "good luck" before a test, I would think that, you can't count on luck, luck doesn't help you. It's how hard you've studied for the test and how prepared you are for it. Hah, how things have changed.
So I guess, it's just time to breathe in and breathe out and know that I deserve it if I fail. Really hoping I don't. I think I would manage to scraaaaape a pass. But I'm not sure. I joked yesterday about how our module co-ordinator, who would probably be marking the first section, would just fail me on principal because I didn't know how many teeth there are in primary dentition. But I think I might have guessed right (just googled it haha). But anywho. Can't do anything about it now. This was a lame rant as well. BUT THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS so whatevaaaa. Haha. Sorry.
Tue 16:59 12/3/13
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