Good Friday.

Today I was supposed to go to the church at 7am. Supposed to. Which meant that I was late. I woke up at 6, but then slept back. Cursing myself. THANK GOODNESS the thing wasn't supposed to start until 10am. So yea I woke up at 7am and hurriedly got ready. And because I couldn't bother myself to wake Kel or Kev up, I opted to ride my bicycle there. Lo and Behold (Sigh.. Need I say more?), the tyres were a bit flat. I didn't really want to waste time pumping air in it, so I just walked. Yay for me. It's before the library, so it wasn't THAT bad, but it was indeed tiring to be walking so far when it's cold, with my still-not-awake muscles. But it was all good I guess. The Stations of The Cross, which is what this thing is called, went by really smoothly, I thought. There were some major problems with the music before, but it was really good today. The songs might have been slower than usual, but it was all good. =D I walked home too. I was sort of proud of myself, I didn't fall the times I went up to the podium, I didn't stop half way or things like that. I did stumble one word and I almost smiled. And I'm not supposed to. Because.. well.. it's Good Friday. So yea. All was good I guess. I think that I'm happy to have been a part of it. But I was really glad to be done with it. The rehearsals were really bad. They were all soooooo long and repetitive. Oh well. No pain no gain huh. 


Kel and Kev both didn't come to see me. How do I feel about it? Well.. I sort of expected it. Really. When I knew for certain Kel wasn't coming (Kev was almost a known fact. He didn't even know when was it), I might have felt the tiniest disappointment, or that feeling of sickness as mentioned in Sick To The Core because of the disregard our family has. But then truthfully? It was definitely expected. I didn't expect them to come. I might have hoped. But then I didn't expect them to actually come, sort of knew they wouldn't. False hope. It's been this way since a long time ago. The cons of having a driver is that they drive you to those stupid school singing competitions events things (?), they drive you to your primary school graduation. For my primary school graduation, I remembered feeling a tiny sense of loss because no one came. I think dad and Kat came, but it was like towards the end. I don't really remember. But the memory of me remembering that no one came is still in me, I don't know why, it's just one of those memories that get stuck in your head for no reason. For the other singing stuff, in TTSS and stuff like those events, I was absolutely fine with no one coming. So yes. That's why I don't allow myself to feel sad for it. What's the use. It's reality. It's just the way it is. 


So truthfully? I'm absolutely fine with it.