Two Feet.

Tue 20/11/12 12:08am

Hello!!!!! I know. I'm still alive right? :D So, a lottttt has happened in my life. Huge things like Raleigh and Uni!! 

A quick update: I'm now enrolled in University College Cork in Cork, Ireland for the 5 year Dentistry programme. Yes, that means I did well enough in my Leaving Cert to get here. (hmm, have I thanked God for that? I should). I'm staying in the student accommodation, Castlewhite Apartments with 4 other Irish girls and I love them!!! There are only 5 of us Malaysians in my course, one girls who's half chinese from KK, and one girl who is Chinese from KL. 

Well. There're a lot more stuff to fill you in with but I just wanted to say. I've been here two months already. And to be honest, it is only now that I can say I've really settled in. I came here, I felt really blessed, then kinda indifferent, then really sad sad sad alone empty homesick like omgggggggbringmehome, then finally I'm here at this point. I feel like I'm finally standing on my two feet, much stronger than before. Sounds so corny oh. But I dunno, I just feel like finally I'm in control with my life, I feel.. relieved. :) No, I'm not sure whether I will be really happy here for 5 years. No, I'm not sure if I should've chosen this instead of being close to home in IMU. No, I don't know if it was stupid of me to choose not to fly home this winter break. But all I know is, I really wanna be strong and stand on my own two feet and "be my own man" (as Denise says) and deal with my own problems and forgive. :) 

Anyway. Just feel really.. tall. 

I've been going to the church that's on campus and I just wanna put down the two sermons that spoke to me. 

Last sunday's sermon was about the apocalypse or something. the priest talked about how the past is gone and the future doesn't exist. that NOW is the gift that God gives all of us, it's a blessing. That we don't want to live in a way that when our last breath comes we'll have regrets and what-ifs. So, during the gift God gives (which is NOW, this moment), we have to live well, be the best we can be. Live with a lot of love and forgiveness. :IIt was a sermon that spoke to me cuz regarding forgiveness and stuff, we shouldn't hold grudges or be mean or like, pretend to be mad to make the other person feel guilty so they'll give us attention etc, basically means we have to treat ppl well, so there'll be no regrets! :) And forgive!!!!! No matter how much it hurts, just forgive! For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14-15)

Andddd. Also there was one sermon that said, no matter how black the darkness deep inside of you, God is powerful enough to forgive you. :)For me, it means although you always sin again and again, although you may have dark thoughts or intentions inside of you, repent and God will still forgive. :)

PART THREE!

There's a Breaker Part 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I saw a spoiler in the forum that says that his ki centre gets fixed!!!!!!!!! YAY but NO cuz I haven't got to that part yet. Haha. Update: I am up to chapter 70+ of Breaker: New Waves (Part 2). Sped through it in a couple of days. Whee!!!!!! 


On the otherrrrr hand *looks to other hand*, I guess PALS don't wait for a goodnight from the other. 


Sat 01:34 14/7/12

ARRRGH!

My WHATSAPP ISN'T WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (And then you read Max's Tumblr/blog and you can see how lame and immature mine is). BLEH. 


Sat 01:01 14/7/12 

Raaaaaannttttt!!!!!

Haha. I wonder whether I have a post of the same title. Hmmm. Anyway. Since I've been back, I haven't really been doing much stuff that I wanted to do when I was in Ireland. I guess the problem is because I have so much time!!!! When I was in Dublin, there was always this unrelenting thought in my head that pressed me for time whenever I was doing something that wasn't studying because I KNEW I had to study lest I run out of time. But over here, there's no deadline. I can't gather the motivation I felt when I was in Dublin. Maybe it's due to the lack of dependence I feel on God. You know? But it's so wrong!!!!!! ARGH! I think I should start writing down my prayers. Hmm, that's a good idea. Then I won't keep falling asleep while praying, and I don't even know what I'm praying about. I'll do it like Aibeleen did in The Help. Pretty cool. :) And I haven't done anything to learn Spanish!!! Except learn the alphabet. -.- BLAH. Really gotta do more productive stuff. I should fix a time for Spanish. Ok. Let's say 3-4pm everyday is for Spanish. I have to go and a Spanish For Dummies book. Haha. Something like that. Then 4-6ish that time around should be for exercise! Steph said she's been growing closer to God. That she spends the times after she wakes up and before bed with God. So envious!!! I just. Play with my laptop. And phone. OMGOSH I don't even read!!!!!!!!!! GAAAAAH. Anyway. I shall try harder. :) This calls for, SELF DISCIPLINE! 


You know. Sometimes I think that it's easier for some people. I mean, I really do believe that we are born a certain way with certain characteristics. Like laziness, gluttony, pride and such. Or maybe like we incorporated those traits into ourselves as we grew up la, same thing. I guess. But what I'm trying to say is, that some people find it easy to not procrastinate and to discipline themselves. Hmm. Maybe I'm wrong. I guess it all comes down to will power. No? Ok la. I see this as a challenge. Gotta pray that I overcome it. :) Our weaknesses are God's means of showing His strength. YEA!!!! 


On the other hand. Friendship. I posted before that I wish I didn't care, that I was heartless and didn't feel the need to depend on friends so much. Like. I realised, well, I guess I've always known that my emotions are so easily swayed by friends. Their own sentence can either make me giggle and get all hyper, or can push me down a deeeeep well which I usually have to climb back up myself. WHYYYY. I really wish that it didn't gnaw at me so relentlessly, the phantom-limb feeling I always have, when I lose a friend. That feeling that I just so miss them it kinda makes me cry. I wish I wouldn't care if a friend didn't care, I wish I wouldn't care if I was nothing to something whom was important to me, I just wish that. I dunno. I wish that I was.. worthy enough for them to care about me. But I guess life just moves on, clock keeps turning. And I'm just that way. I wear my heart on my sleeve, like SERIOUSLY. And about me wishing all those things, I guess I don't really wish it. Well. I do wish that they would care more. But I don't wish that I didn't. "Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all", says Lady Antebellum. Sigh. Gotta make my heart have thicker muscular walls. ROAR! Jason said that, we just gotta appreciate the memories they've given us, while everyone moves on with life. :) 


Sat 01:00 14/7/12

Forward March!

Hello!!!! Anyway. I have come to really love this song man!!!! Especially this version of the song. Haha. Not that I have listened to any other versions. And funny enough, I actually heard this song for the first time during the actual concert. Shame on me I guess for not being able to sing along. But it's so awesome. The fact that from this video, you can actually see how much fun he's having and you can hear that he's holding back laughter to be able to sing properly. It's just pretty cool. :D To be there in the moment, letting the music move you. Just, enjoying yourself. 





If this life is one act
Why do we lay all these traps?
We put them right in our path
When we just wanna be free

I will not waste my days
Making up all kinds of ways
To worry about all the things
That will not happen to me

So I just let go of what I know I don't know
And I know I'll only do this by
Living in the moment
Living our life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
With peace in my heart
Peace in my soul
Wherever I'm going, I'm already home
Living in the moment

I'm letting myself off the hook for things I've done
I let my past go past
And now I'm having more fun
I'm letting go of the thoughts
That do not make me strong
And I believe this way can be the same for everyone

And if I fall asleep
I know you'll be the one who'll always remind me
To live in the moment
To live my life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
With peace in my heart
Got peace in my soul
Wherever I'm going, I'm already home

I can't walk through life facing backwards
I have tried
I tried more than once to just make sure
And I was denied the future I'd been searching for
But I spun around and hurt no more

It's kinda true you know. I always find myself looking to the past and wishing things hadn't changed. Wishing that the friends I had were still beside me now, wishing I was still in S3 and living the care-free life, stuff like that. Always living in the past I guess. But that's not a good thing. We gotta let the past go, and always remember it I guess? Treasure the present, and look to the future. Haha. So corny but true. So hard for me. But I really gotta push myself. Bla bla bla. Anyway. Click replay again and again! It's an awesome song man! :D 


Sat 00:29 14/7/12

UNFOLDDDDD!!

I watched this video because it's called Unfold and I was wondering whether they would've used Jason Mraz's song. They didn't. But I do really like the video. Cuz it's the girl that's getting friendzoned. And it's so TRUE. The description said, Sometimes we just want to be with the person we like, but when they don't like you back, you really want them to be happy and at the same time you don't. It's true you know. But the sad thing is for me, the more logical voice is louder in my head and it says something along the lines of "love them enough to let them go" bla bla bla. They deserve to be happy kinda thing you know? Haha. Anyway. Pretty cool, pretty sad. 





I'm pretty sure that they'll end up together. But life usually doesn't turn out that way you knowwww. Sigh. The kind girl that's just always there for the other friend but always the one who only appears as an afterthought when they are not in need. 


But that's part of giving love, no? :) 


Tue 17:58 10/7/12

UGH

I DUNNO WHY THE FONT SIZE FOR THAT LAST POST IS SMALLER THAN SMALL!!!!!!!! OH WELL TOO LAZY TO CHANGE IT PARAGRAPH BY PARAGRAPH. STRAIN YOUR EYES PEOPLE! 


Omgosh I'm shoh lameee. 


Same day yoz. 01:03

Get it up way high!

HELLO! PEE PEE ELLZ! I'm BACK! And I'm ALIVE. Isn't that enough to be thankful for? Ok so this post will be about the one and only Jason Mraz!!! I went to his concert!!!! I. SAW. HIM. LIVE!! And it was ABSOLUTELY. SURREAL!!!!!! I went to check, and he's been my favourite since 2008, and that's how far back my blog posts goes, so maybe even before I started blogging. So I've been waiting for so many years to go and see him live. And thank GOD. Honestly. I'm so blessed lo to be able to have the opportunity and privilege to not only be able to go, but also to be able to afford to go!!!! Also, his new album is kinda pricey lo. Which makes me wrinkle my nose, because of him saying like "I'll even let you download me for free" then BAM, new album RM60. Haha. So I'll be waiting for it to drop, or save for a live album. :D 


OK. SO ANYWAY. (Ps. This is gona be a long post. I can feel it in my hair that it's gonna be a long post. Run along now!) Haha whuut. Ok. SO. *wondering where I should start from* *deciding* *decided* HAHA. I shall begin from the end of my exams. SO. (take three, action!) The exams were super tough. STUDYING for the exams was crazy tough. Hands down, it was the most effort I've ever put into ANYTHING. Well, I guess there has been other stuff that I've put in loads of effort too before, like the school bazaar where we sold lasagna and spaghetti in S1, and the class trip in J3 too. I'm rambling. Ok soooo. It was really tough. A month or so before the exam, I was really pushing myself. My timetable was something like, study study then sleep at 11.30p, till like 12.30am or so, then study till like 4am. Like sometimes I'll feel super sleepy. While I'm sitting there studying, all that goes through my head is "I wanna sleep I wanna sleep I wanna sleep" but I KNOW that I can study more. So just that moment you know! When I'm on the verge of giving up and going to sleep, to PUSH myself NOT to go that direction and continue to study. I don't think I've ever pushed myself that hard. So it was a good experience. But GOSH. It was really horrible in a way. Saw my complexion slowly deteriorate, pimples exploding, back and neck aching all the time. Etc etc. A lot LA. But I really believe that God's grace allowed me to pull through lo. With faith in God. Of course, sometimes I would be totally hopeless and stressed and just wondering how in the world would I be able to complete the exam successfully. But then the hillsong You Are More says, "I will see the season through, I will fix my eyes on You, only You". So that's what I really tried to do. In the end, my exams were pretty good I guess. Well. Considering that I studied a year's worth of stuff in a few months. Hopefully it was enough la. Results come out on the 15th of Aug. Dreaded? Anticipated? I can't decide. Let's just be nonchalant and hope for the best. And RELIGION. Oh the dreaded subject. I worked my brain off trying to understand and condense everything, writing up all those essays. I really did loads of work on that subject. In the end, I didn't actually have enough time to study all the essays I typed up. I had so much fear you know, because I left out LOADS of stuff. Like, the topics I typed essays out for were already shortlisted from ALL the topics there are in the course, and the essays I actually studied were shortlisted again from those that I typed out. So you can imagine how much I actually left out. I was really scared that loads of the exam would be on stuff I didn't study. But lo and behold, trust God, what do you get? There were only two questions I didn't study for. Well, one I had typed the essay out but didn't study so I couldn't remember, and the other I didn't type it out at all. So yea. It wasn't amazing, each question is worth 40marks and there are 8 questions in total. But it's certainly more that what I studied for, considering the amount I left out. So yea. It was an absolutely JOYOUS day, the last day of exam. I did my Applied Maths (went head to head with the time! had jusssst enough time to finish 6 questions, with no time at all to check!). Got stuck on two small parts, with no time to go back and correct it. But apart from that it was quite good. Then was isolated at lunch, and I studied for religion. Then sat for the exam with just one other girl who was doing Japanese. Kind of sad, if you ask me. The last paper of the whole Leaving Cert, and just two of us. Haha. When I finished I was just. Wow. It was so surreal. After how many WEEKS of not sleeping before 1am, it was really incredible. :D I kinda wanted to cry lo that night when I was going to sleep. Whoopeedo!! :D The other papers were so so. Maths paper 2 was absolutely ridiculous. I could do it la, not perfectly though. There's this question I got all wrong. But then it was really a weird paper, and I have no idea how they're gonna mark it. But I would have to say that I'm most worried about Bio lo. Couldn't be entirely sure about any of the questions. But. OH WELL. We'll just wait for the results to come. And hope for the best?


The last few days in Ireland was kinda fun, with my parents. I feel like God somehow answered my prayers. I feel like I really grew closer to them. Got to know them so much more and saw how my dad is quietly considerate like I am and like those "aiya just chillax" kinda person. It was really nice la. Went for pub food the night of my last paper. It wasn't that yummy but it was still fun. They brought me to O' Donoghue's pub after that. They had a pint and I just sat there kinda awkwardly. But it was really fun la. I like pubs. And then the next day, we went to Cork!!! ROAD TRIP! I love road trips! It was pretty fun. But honestly, I spent a lot of time looking down at my phone, whatsapping Denise instead of looking out the window or getting much needed sleep. Haha. Couldn't resist catching up with her after so long of not talking to her. Cork is a really small town. I liked it though. A little bit more modern than Dublin I would think. The shops are all along the street, not like in Dublin, where they are mostly found in shopping malls only. We didn't do much. We just walked around the market. It was pretty cool. All the food they had!!!! And some Asian stores too that sold MAGGI!!!!! Then we drove around University College Cork, one of my possible future unis. It was quite big. Not as glamorous as I thought it would be. But nice regardless. Then we drove by the coast, went to Old Head Port, if I'm not mistaken. Really nice!! I LOVE THE SEA! But it was freezing though!!! And there were people in the sea surfing! CRAZY! Oh ya, we also went to see some Brothers, (yes, monastery brothers) who administered some schools in Malaysia, and taught my mum and my aunties and my dad too (in different schools though). Pretty cool. They were all under good care and are really old. It was quite nice to see how well teachers are remembered. :) :) 


Then my parents flew back to KK and Elaine and I went to London. London was pretty meh. I think it would've been better if I went with other people. Gosh. How I WISHED my friends had the chance to be there with me. Denise or Jason or Pei or Steph or Tur. Just anyone who wasn't  preoccupied with trivial things like INSTAGRAM and TWITTER and FACEBOOK. Gah. Haha. I'm one to talk. I'm kinda bad as well when it comes to wasting time. But I just... couldn't get why Elaine and Michelle, whom are close friends that hadn't seen the other in a year, were just talking about what was happening in the social networks instead of catching up and chatting till their tongues fell off. Other than that, it was nice to meet up with Gee and eat food and stuff and met Khai Ling too, who's from Penang. She's super friendly and comfortable in her own skin lo. She's pretty cool. Then finally. Whee. Fly back to KL. YAYYYYYY. 


KL was pretty funny. Kev told me to take the train to KLCC and stuff, but mum said he was in KLIA. I was just gonna listen to Kev cuz KLIA is so far from anywhere. It made sense for me to take the train. So I bought my train ticket and everything for RM35 and was on the way to the elevator when Kev came up from behind me and he was taking a video! It was a surprise! Surprise I indeed was. So happy that he drove out all the way to the airport to come get me la. Haha. Then as we were walking out to his car, lololololo and behold, he was getting a summons cuz he had parked at the waiting area or something. He ran over to talk to the police but I knew it wasn't gonna help from the look on that police's face. So mean. Meanie poopie! Someone who has no compassion! Bet he doesn't have anyone loved that he will pick up from the airport. HMPH. Haha fine I take that back. Bla blaaaah. But I didn't really mind la. Just felt a little guilty. But a ticket is a ticket is a ticket. It's just money. :) Then Kev said he needed to pass something to his friend before we headed for dinner. So we went to the place and he said that his friend will be late. So we waited and chatted. Then he showed me the lame videos he took of me walking in the airport when I was looking for the train. Then when I looked to the road, CHENG CHENG!!!!!!! LEEPEI WAS THERE!!!! I was so shocked!!!!!!!!! SURPRISED!!!! Another surprise from Kev. It was so. :O :O So I went down to hug her and stuff and it was just so amazing! We headed to Klang Bak Kut Teh, really really yummy I must say!!! 


All the way there and while we were eating, Pei and I were quite noisy. We were catching up like mad! Telling each other stories and stories of this and that. It was so good. :) :) Gosh, you know then it really really did struck me how I hadn't had those types of conversations for ages! Where there aren't really any boundaries, you be who you are and you just speak what's on your mind, shout loudly and wave your arms wildly to illustrate what you're saying, and laugh and laugh without restraint cuz no one is there to judge you. It was really amazing la. So so thankful to Kev who had the heart to plan it all out. :) I didn't think I would have the opportunity to meet Pei cuz I was only in KL for one night. But wow. So grateful I did. :D After dinner, had to send Pei back to her dorm cuz she had a chem EXAM the next day!!!! Luckily she still could meet me! Then Kev and I went to find Cha Time but by the time we arrived there, it was closed! :( And so we had Moo Cow yoghurt ice cream which was REALLY yum. :D Then finally back to Aunty Lucy's house. :D Laura and Dave were at their signature spots on their respective computers/laptops. Then shower and SLEEP in that humid, hazy, hot place I call HOME. Well, almost home I guess. ;) 


The next morning, flew to Singapore. Uncle Chin Thye sent Pam and I to KLCC. It was nice to see him and talk and stuff cuz I thought I might not get the chance to see them at all this short trip! (Didn't even see Aunty Lu!!). Then we flew flew flew to Singapore! Took the MRT to the hotel. And I crashed! I was SOOOOO tired. Jet lag probably. I woke up at like 4 the night before and couldn't get back to sleep until it was like 20 minutes left before we had to wake up. We got ready at like 3pm and I checked my email and realised that I had missed an automated interview for Belfast University. So I emailed them and etc etc and got another interview scheduled. That was quite a scare. But it was all good in the end. Then Pam and I headed out to the concert!!!!!!!!! YAY! 


It was really really fun. I think getting there was almost as fun as the concert itself. Well, not really, but it really WAS very fun. Haha. Omgosh whuut. We kinda got lost and I was so excited so we were half running the hwole way. From this MRT station to this MRT station. Trying to follow signs and failing. We went out to the shuttle bus to Marina Bay but APPARENTLY Marina Bay is not the same as Gardens By The Bay. WHO KNEW. So we had to double back all the way and go a different direction via MRT. We were skipping along and both singing together all the Jason Mraz songs we knew. It really was awesome. We were both all sweating and kind of out of breath but just kept half-running-half-skipping and singing and singing. YAY! We finally got there after asking some random teenage dude on the MRT whether that MRT we stepped onto was going to Gardens. He turned out to be going to the concert too. Haha but didn't really walk the same way because we ran when we got off the MRT. HAHA. Gosh we were so sweaty!!!! 


So Gardens. Big. Artificial. Not all that I would say. I guess it would be a nice place to just chillax and maybe go jogging? But I look at it and I just think it's a big waste of money. How sad. When they could've actually planted more trees with that kind of money, instead of using it to build artificial gigantic tree-like structures that don't even contribute to the green movement. We hurried to the entrance only to find out that we couldn't collect our tickets there, and had to walk all the way to the Flower Dome to collect our tickets. That totally did not make sense to me. WHO WOULD PUT THE TICKET COLLECTION SOMEWHERE THAT'S NOT THE ENTRANCE OF THE CONCERT! Or they could at least put up signs or informed us you know. UGHHHHH. So, already tired, we hurried to the Flower Dome and collected our tickets, went for a toilet stop, filled our bottle, back to entrance and entered concert venue, only to have to throw out our bottle (no outside food and drinks zz) and went to the merchandise stall. Bought shirts for $45! Quite pricey and not even thick shirt, but I did really like the picture of Jason Mraz and the date at the back anyway. :D Pam got the same one. Then we went to the stage there and there were loads of people sitting down just waiting. So excused and danced our way to a spot a little bit off-centre to the left and stood there. It was really close!!!!!!!!!! But maybe we could've gotten closer then maybe I could've gotten a guitar pick from him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAH!!!!! But it was really good. 


So I think we arrived there around 5pm and waited till 8pm when the concert started ON TIME. There were some annoying people who came really late and tried to get to the front, and some people (good for you!!!) didn't let them pass. And the new-comers had to find an alternate route. Sniffy. So unfair!!! Cuz in the end they did make it to the front. Anyway. After getting slightly impatient, watching the sun go down, all sticky and hair all messy, WHEEEEEEEEEE the musicians of his SUPER BAND started playing and JASON MRAZ CAME OUT. 


JASON MRAZ. IN PERSON. Made of FLESH, made of SAND (?). Haha. It was soooooo SURREAL. And he was wearing a HAT!!!!!!!!!!!! Which he hasn't worn for ages since he started growing his hair out. So that was pretty cool man!!!!!!! It was. Wow. I was honestly on the verge of tears a couple of times through the whole concert when it really struck me that he was just there a few feet away, giving an amazing performance that, for once, I wasn't watching from my laptop screen. It was really. Wow. Thank God that I'm fortunate enough to be able to see him live, that I have the privilege and also the capability of doing so!!!! 


This is his setlist, a total of 2 hours and 15 minutes. 

1. The World as I See It 
2. Everything Is Sound 
3. The Freedom Song 
4. Bella Luna 
5. Butterfly 
6. Be Honest 
7. Only Human 
8. The Woman I Love 
9. A Beautiful Mess 
10. Unfold 
11. Make It Mine 
12. Frank D. Fixer 
13. Curbside Prophet / The Remedy (I Won't Worry) Medley 
14. You and I Both 
15. I'm Coming Over 
16. Details in the Fabric 
17. Lucky 
18. Living In The Moment 
19. I'm Yours 
20. Encore:
20. Mr. Curiosity 
21. 93 Million Miles 
22. I Won't Give Up 

I really really enjoyed the performance man!!!! The fact that he wore a hat was pretty awesome. But he also sang really old songs that he hadn't really been performing in big concerts!!! Well, not that I know, just that it's pretty hard to find nice recent videos of those songs in youtube. But yea. I'm soooooo happy that he sang songs like Unfold (I LOVEEEEE THAT SONG!!!!!!!), put it a bit of Curbside Prophet (pretty awesome cuz Pam and I kept singing it before the concert, and kept saying like, Nah he won't sing such a super old song), Bella Luna, and You and I Both! AAAAAHHHHHHHH! My first guitar song! Haha. Also, no Toca, but also no Mona!!!!! So that was good, cuz I would've wrinkled my nose at Mona if there was no Toca. It was really great. I used to always like his acoustic performances, probably preferring them over him and his band. But now, I think I super love him when he's with his Super Band! It's just awesome! Love all the brass, played by the three bald dudes. They're my favourite!!!! Makes the songs so much more fun. GAH. It was just. Perfect. Amazing. I WANT TO GO AGAIN!!!!!!! The concert ended with the awesome encore. I KNEW I WOULDN'T HAVE NOT SUNG I WON'T GIVE UP. AND IT WAS a really great way to end the show man. The song, well. I love it. Cuz if you actually sing it with all your sincerity, it's actually an amazing feat. To not give up on someone I mean. To wait for them when they need time by themselves, and also learning who they are as a person. It's so BRAVE. Haha. Ok. So bottom line is. No other concert would top that one. It was great. :D Thank God, thanks mum, and thanks Pam!!!!!!!!!! (You see! Everything happens for a reason. How it all worked out so that I ended up going with Pam. :D) 


Exiting the venue was really tough. After standing for so many hours before the concert and during the concert, we had to spend like an hour just trying to get out of the crowd. The Gardens were so dimly lighted, the exits were so narrow and couldn't handle the amount of people. So it really was super PACKED. It was pretty much a standstill!!!!! GAH. It was so testing! No one really knew which routes could or could not be taken. So in the end Pam and I just took the path less travelled (haha) and kinda found out own way to this shopping mall. Went to find a taxi and found the taxi line SUPER long. Like, I've never seen a line that long in my whole life. So we sat down in a Java Coffee place thingy and got cold drinks. And we went to wait for a taxi in the line which hadn't moved! Well, the line had moved, but it was the same length due to the amount of people coming and going!!!! It was almost midnight at that time, mind you. It took us 30 minutes for it to get to our turn!!!!!! When Aunty Flo, whom Pam was texting, said it would only take 10 minutes. WHUUT. Hahahaha. So finally. HOTEL. Showered then I whatsapped Denise. Then SLEEPPPPP. 


Haha. LASTLY. We took the MRT and met up with Aunty Flo in a food court. I was SO SLEEPY cuz only slept at like 2.30am or something and was still jet lagged. Ate some food. Then went to find PINEAPPLE TARTS at this apparently famous Chinese bakery. Bought a pack of 20 tarts for mum and dad, from Aunty Flo. Then went to meet Amanda and Ben at Crystal Jade for some Dim Sum. :D It was pretty fun. Meeting Aunty Flo and Mandy and Ben properly for the first time. In the sense that I got to know what kind of person they really were and got to talk to them properly. So yup. It was really enjoyable. Ben's really funny. Like those straightforward, down to earth kinda person. Like we were talking about car parks and people getting kidnapped etc. Pam was saying she wouldn't have any idea what to do if that happened to her. Then Ben said that if it were him, he'll be like. Ok la. Prostitute? Sell me la. I don't mind being a prostitute. Use me la. Kinda thing. Haha. He kept saying those really whuut stuff. 


Then we went back to the hotel, got our stuff then met Ian at the MRT station. He was gonna accompany us to the airport! Unexpected!!! So kind! Haha. It was fun to catch up with him after so long. I asked how my mum knew he was in Singapore (he moved there, working there) and he said that my mum's on the distribution list, whatever that is. He asked what I've been doing and I told him about Dublin and he was kinda shocked. And I said like, how come you tell my mum stuff, give her updates but she doesn't do the same to you? Haha. And he said that he's gonna take my mum off the list. Hahaha. Funny. Had some Burger King in the airport. Yum yum!!! Then I went to my gate with Pam, then goodbye then Pam left for her gate to KL. 


WHEEEEEEEEEEE. That is basicallyyyyyyy the end of my four months away from home. It's good to be back. :D :D :D :D And so far, it's been great. Busy. But. Meh. Kinda disappointing. As in, not productive I guess. Haha. Gonna go sleep. Been typing this post for days!!!!!! 


BE SINCERE PEOPLE! GIVE LOVE!!!!!!!!! And just. Be kind yo. :) That's the best thing you can give everyone around you. :) Good night. 


Tue 10/7/12 00:59

T Shirt Bar!

Unfortunately, it is officially 1 hour past the 13th. But whatever. I kind of lost track of time.. didn't know that today was actually the 12th though I knew it was coming up. That's what exams do to you. They mesh all the days up and the way you count the days is what subject you have planned to study next. 


Anyway. This will probably be the shortest post EVER on TMO, but once again. Thank you for everything! I don't know when we started this thingo.. but should be close to a year already right? But anywho. I'm almost free it's so crazy. By the time the evening of the 22nd arrives, all my notes would be rendered useless and I will be FREE. Can't imagine that. So yea. Soon. 


Anywayyyyy. This is the me I can be when I'm with you. Haha. Though I'm usually almost always sakai like that. 

Also, thank you for this. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhCJPG4uMGU&t=13m45s

Happy TBA Denise! :) :) 

(okay seriously.. I need to find new font for my blog. ugh) Wed 13/6 01:08am 

It's Not Goodbye!

Hello!! Just a quick quick short post. Haha. 


Thanks Ray Ray!!! ~thanks for being such an amazing companion and support these months!~ Hahaha. Gonna miss you.. Soon la! Wait till I'm done with all these exams. Then I'll be home bound!!!!!!!!! Then we can go for pizza hut, KFC, watch a DVD, then Starbucks for dessert. Hahaha. Study hard!!! 


And thanks again yo!! Seriously. ;) Don't be complacent ok!!! :D Skype SOON! 31/5/12 03:46 


(Edit: wed 13/6 01:11. APPRECIATE YOU! Hahahahaha)

THIS IS EPIC!

THIS IS EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

*5 minutes later* OMGOSHHHHHHH OMG OMGOSH!!!!! HIS FAVOURITE COLOUR IS GREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! 

Sat 23:14

COFFEE and CAKE.

Hello!! Today was an expensive day. So I went to the Stillorgan Shopping Centre and went to buy my Berocca! Hehe. Just felt that I needed some Vitamin C after I got quite sick during the holidays. And till now I'm not perfectly well, but haha. I'll survive. :) I got them on sale! So yay!!! :D :D Spent €21 on 60 tablets. Hope it was worth it. And then I went over to the library and it was FULLLLLLLLLL. :( So then I went to Bramble's Cafe. And bought food even though I just breakfast. Kinda sad. So that was €12. I guess it wasn't so bad. Cuz it was a smoked salmon roulade, whatever that is. With spinach too. And three salads. So it was really healthy. :D And then I sat there studyinggggg. And thennnn I bought a cake and coffee. It was on promotion!!! T.T Add €1 for the coffee so I just got it. Ugh. The cake was really good though. Apple and berries crumble. yummmmy!!!! :D :D The worst is that I'm going to spend money after I go to church. Ugh. But it was a good day. REALLY windy and quite cold, but still good cuz the sun was out! YEA! And while I was on the way home at about 5pm, this old man asked me for directions to the shopping centre. YAY I was so happy I could help you know!!! Then I was kindaaaa hyper from my mocha, so I was kinda skipping along.. and I was supposed to turn right at this opening in the stone wall that goes along the road, to cut through to the house, and I walked right past it cuz I was just thinking about how great the day was!!!! Then I had to stop, turn around, and walk back. I'm pretty sure the girl sitting at the bus stop saw me miss the turning. Haha. I was laughing at myself. Keep praying man!!! :D (The caffeine is kinda making me go crazy ugh!)


Anyway. From my book, he was talking about building an airstrip in the jungle. "We were going to need a big crew of Waodani, too-the bigger the better. The Waodani are all strong, and they are good workers when they are motivated. But they don't live to work. That is a unique trait common only to civilized people from the "developed" world. The Waodani work to live". It's like BAM. Just a simple phrase, but so much meaning to it!!!!!!! We kinda do live to work. No? Like since young, it's all been about our future, working towards our career choices and everything. So thought-provoking oh. And thennnnnnn. I went to Youtube Jason Mraz. HUGE MISTAKE. T.T Cuz now I'm stuck. Forever. AHHHHHH!!!! Went and clicked on a full show! 50minutes! Hahaahha. Already half way through. It's an old show from 2006, so it's all his old songs and some I've never heard before!!!! Coolio la. Listened to I'll Do Anything. Still love that song!!!! He sounds so sexy la. Haha. "Well baby, I'm single~" EEEEEEE. "So step on up to the plate get a date with mraz, see you better act fast because supplies they never last, well did you know, this is a limited time offer~" Hahahaha if I were at that show I'll shout out "I'm taking the offer!!!!!!" Hahahahahaha. 


And I mighttt have posted about this song before too: Life is Wonderful. Just the simplicity of the words. And so true too!!!!! 


It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to make you yawn brother
And it takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished



I read somewhere before, like when you're thinking about how tiring a long walk from one place to another is, you should be grateful because you have functioning legs that allow you to walk that distance to make you feel tired. No? Kinda the same thing like be grateful that you feel home sick, cuz it means you have a home to begin with. Something like that. :) It takes the dust to have it polished. ;) Ohhh and he talked about Details In The Fabric. How it was called Sewing Machine before!!!! Hahahaha. And stumbled upon this new song I hadn't heard before. Now I understand what Jason Wong meant when he said that Jason Mraz's new album makes you happy, like he sings to make people happy. This song lifts my heart a lot!!! 








Let's sing to be happy, to feel things, to communicate, be heard
We sing out to protest, and to project, and to harmonize with birds
Whether it's your birthday, or your dying day
It's a celebration too
Rejoice to use your voice, and give wings to any your choice
Whatever you're choosing right now, it's right well where you are
You don't need a vacation when there's nothing to escape from


Like in A Beautiful Mess. He sings that life is a beautiful mess, and "here we are". I think he said before in his blog (RIP FF5000!!!), "and this is what my life looks like". He said that where we're standing now is what our life is. IT'S TRUE!!!! All the choices we've made lead us up to here. Like I'm here in Ireland, this is my life. Kinda the same idea lo when he says "whatever you're choosing right now, it's right well where you are". :) So yea. Our life is in our hands. Haha. And I should really stop listening to him on Youtube and start studying!!!! AHHHHH!!!!! That's the thing. When I'm happy, I find it so hard to settle down and study. Hahaha. 


LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!! Love my parents! :D 


Oh ya, here's the link to the show I'm listening to. :) His pants are pretty epic. And he was so young then man! Maybe one day, I may be able to play the guitar as well as him. :/ So go make your next choice, be your best choice! ;) YES! Click it!! OHMYGOSH! At least listen to the last song at about 43 mins in, that performance of Plane was SO GOOD! Ok. Seriously. I needa study!


Sat 28/4/12 20:15

Mysteriously...

Wooooo!!! Blogger has updated itself while I was away trying to study. Kinda confusing, tbh. But seems pretty cool but annoying too. No one really likes change I guess. So anyway. HELLO!!!!!!!! I haven't been blogging for a while! Eeeehehehehe. Nice to finally be able to lay my thoughts out man. They've been clogging up, giving me headaches and sadness. So glad that my fishies are still alive man. Aaahahahahahaaaaaaa. 


Ok, seriously. Lots of things have happened since I've been gone. Here's an update. 


1. School stuffs. Been going okayishhh. Staying at the library, studying, struggling. Nothing new I guess. Officially handed up my religion project FINALLY!!!!! Spent like 3 hours and a half hand writing it out, about 2000 words or so!! It was really tiring but amazing to finally get it all over and done with. Whee! There was one day when I got really really stressed up and even had a tear or two leaking out. I don't know.. I just made the mistake of thinking about all of the things I had to do in such a short time all at once, and I just couldn't handle it. But as always, the next day came and it was all okay. So yea. Have to keep moving forward. Don't settle for the plateau, as Jason said Bruce Lee said. Haha. Even if it kills you. I think the biggest motivation for me now comes when I think of this: Imagine if you don't get the score. OMGOSH!!!!!! That's super scary. Like grips-my-heart-so-I-can't-breathe scary! Imagine if I don't get it. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would flip a million tables in frustration and will still be frustrated!!! Really gotta put in my all! Hahahaha ohmygosh!! On Tuesday last week, I actually forgot to go to class!!!!! My Physics classes are always the last one of the day, usually at 4pm 5pm or so. On Tues it's 5pm and I have religion class before that. So during religion, I was kinda half focused only.. and was chatting to Jason a little cuz I was sooooo sleepy. I was thinking wistfully about how it used to be with really familiar friends. Where you don't really have to worry about anything.. where you could just walk into their houses.. where you know their parents. Stuff like that. Just really familiar that you don't think twice? And so I told him, Yer, miss my friends that I'm familiar with. Then he replied "Miss you too" or somethinggg like that. AAAHAHAHAHAHA then immediately I wasn't sleepy anymore cuz honestly, it was kinda amusing that he said that lo. HAHAHAHA. From a GUY! But he's always been a little diff from other guys. Haha. "Special". Hahaha. (But honestly, all jokes aside, I do miss him la. One of my 'buddies', as he puts it. Just found it really funny that a guy would say that bah. Even I don't really say that to my female friends man! :p) Then a few minutes later class was over, and I was in such a good mood I actually started going on my way home!! When I got off the tram and was walking back to the house, I suddenly stopped right on the pavement, looked at the time, and was like OH FUGGLE! I have physics! EEEEEE!!!! TRUST ME to be the kind of person that's as silly as that. WHO DOES THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Haha. So yea, that was something interesting that has never really happened to me before. Pretty cool pretty cool! Haha. 


2. On the Monday of this week, had an interview at RCSI for all the international students. RCSI, for Medicine. 90% of the students were from my school, all the Middle Easterners. It went quite good. I said almost all I got to say. My school held mock interviews for us all, which was pretty good for me. Though Elaine reckons that it'll make the interview kinda rehearsed, for me, it gave me a chance to really think about what my stance was with the questions they would ask. Like why I wanted to be a doctor, what qualities do you think you have that makes you suited etc etc. It gave me a chance to think about how I would answer these questions, because I struggle with those kind of questions because honestly, I don't know. I don't know how to lie, so I kept trying to find the honest answers to those questions. In the end, I did ok. Sounded convincing I guess. Oh, the lies! I said things like, I KNOW that being a doctor is what I want to do, and I will stick it out to the end and I have the determination to succeed. I'm very sure of myself, that's one of my qualities. I know that this is what I want, and I will go for it. Etc. TSK TSK. And I said things like I've heard about the long hours and the emotional stress of being a doctor, and that was one of my main concerns too. But I think that the fact that you are able to help so many people outweighs all this, and knowing that, I know I will be able to stick it out. Haha. Of course it wasn't phrased so nicely la. But yea. In actual fact, I'm terrified about that aspect of being a doctor lo. There's so much responsibility in your hands. And what happens if one of your immediate families gets sick? How would you respond, knowing you have the qualifications to save a life. What if you fail? OMGOSH. Scary!!!! Like in Grey's Anatomy... the super old episode where one of George O'Malley's family got sick. And he couldn't deal. etc etc etc. Yup. All in all, the interview was good. If I get it, will I go? I don't really know. It's kinda on the no side, because of the culture of the uni.. how it's so money-minded. And the fees are OMG expensive! My jaw literally fell open when I saw the figures online and did the multiplications in my head. Woah man!!!!!!!! But I don't know. After all the thinking about the questions and stuff, it was kinda like I was trying to convince myself that that was what I want. And I don't know oh. The end can be great, I really can help many people. But then the process is going to be a super tedious and hard and tough tough tough one. Do I really want that kind of lifestyle? There's so much more to life. etc etc. Haha. Omgosh. This is gonna be a long post. ANYWAY. The interview, everyone said it was great.. the interviewers were all so friendly etc. Haha. But guess what? If they all said it went well, then what's gonna happen? They can't let us all in. You know? I'm suspecting that they were looking for something more than your ability to communicate well. I don't know la. MEH. Lastly, I got asked an interesting question. They asked me, in my opinion, in the whole world, what is the most pressing disease/infection/illness that needs our immediate attention...that we need to find a cure for urgently. I was kinda stuck because there's just SO MANY crazy diseases out there. In the end I just went with what I knew about the most, cancer. Told them a little about Melina. How it's such a horrible disease. Kat said HIV could've been one, and I think it's probably a better answer. But I don't really know much about HIV so I couldn't have said much about it too. Haha. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE, I need to increase you. 


3. 24/4!!!! TUR'S BDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TUR!!!!!! I skype with her quite often.. and it's kinda funny cuz sometimes I can't even HEAR what she's saying due to lousy microphone or whatever on her side, and sometimes my line is bad too. But yea it's kinda like whut lo when we skype. Haha. I was just hoping to get to skype her on her bday and like have a cupcake there, sing happy bday to her and then eat the cupcake on her behalf (hahaha). But then I got a whatsapp from Pei the day before Tur's bday! She asked me what I was doing, and told me she wanted to post photos up of her and her card to Tur. She asked me if I wanted to do the same. So we discussed it a little and I got the idea that we could do it together.. as in join forces, she holds happy and I hold bday kinda thing. Take a photo then upload it. You know? We discussed and GOSH the TIME DIFFERENCE! It was either she slept really late and skype me on that day we were discussing, or she wake up early and I sleep late for us to meet. Because I knew she was those early night people and that she had no trouble waking up early, I just said I'll sleep late. So we did it!!! It was crazyyyyyyyyyyyyy. The line was pretty bad! We keptttt getting disconnected! And we took so many photos of the same thing, trying this out and changing that. And we just impromptu went along with whatever other ideas we had. It was pretty outrageous and funny you know! Like when we wear both trying to join our hands tgth to make a heart shape, with each of us making half of the heart with one hand, we were like "a lil to the left, left, right!! right a lil more! back! wait wait wait! left a littleeeee! ok ok! smile!!!!!" *printscreen* hahaha. It was really funny. And in the end, it turned out AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! I only have seen a few of the final products! But Tur really liked it and she was in the lab in her school on Facebook and she was doing her signature squeals and giggles when she was looking through the photos. So that's good. :D :D Tur got a surprise party by her church friends. A large group of them you know! So it's really cool to know that she's doing well there, that though it's only been a few months, she has people who care for her. See! Church communities make a difference lo! Pei Whatsapped me when I was in school, and she said "You know? they actually took photo with our photo and said it is our group photo! So sweet!! I'm so touched! hahaha! When tur saw the album she keep making those weird sound in sch like keep yer yer yer like that. Hahaha so funny!" It was really awesome lo. You know.. it made me really miss them a lot. The four of us. KTPS. Since Senior 1, that was when it became the four of us. It hasn't been the most flawless of friendships la.. we've had minor falling outs and inevitably, now that we're all in different places, we kinda drifted apart. I hadn't really kept in touch with Pei much lo. Just life taking its toll on us la. But then with that effort for Tur, it made me realise how I had kinda slowly forgotten about how it used to be, the four of us. TIME MAKES YOU FORGET!!!!!!!! Kinda forgotten how it used to be when it's just so familiar. Like close friends, we've had sleepovers, had sleepovers with very little sleep, had sleepovers where we just slept, brush teeth tgth, eat bfast half asleep.. so many things that you just won't really do with any other ppl. Those kind of days are gonna be so rare now. We're all growing up. Sigh. Miss it much. It was all amazing. :) Haha. HAPPY BDAY to Tur again! (You know.. Felt really blessed lo. That I have all these memories. All these close friends. Like Pei, Steph, Tur.. Dummy.. Fiona.. etc. The kind of closeness that's kinda hard to find. Not every one has it. Feel so lucky! And like having a sissy sis to count me down to my super huge exam. Really just so blessed oh!!!!!!!! TTSS life is really different. :) Haha ok I dunno what the talk I am about derrrr)


4. I wonder whether teachers can tell my mind is totally blank when they make eye contact with me, and I'm kinda looking at the board but NOTHING is going through my mind. Then my nerves kinda make me register and goes ALERTTTT! TEACHER HAS MADE EYE CONTACT and my heart beats really hard once and then enough blood goes to my brain then snap back to reality and WOAHHHHHH I wonder whether he could tell I was spacing out. Then I refocus and take in what's on the board and what's being said. Haha. ALWAYS HAPPENS. My mind is just blank sometimes you know.. I really wonder if they can tell that all that's in my head are just the echos from droplets of water hitting the imaginary floor of an empty room. WHUUT. hahaha. 


5. On Tur's bday too. Had an epic skype with Ray!!!!! Hahaha. First time we really just kept talking! It wasn't that good la cuz we're both supposed to be STUDYING! But it was really awesome lo! We talked about Emer.. about friends.. judgmental, future, family. So much stuff. I kinda think Emer is like me lo.. really outgoing and talkative and loud and a lil outrageous. And I kinda was looking for the same thing that she's struggling with now: real friends. We're both kinda... idealistic? In the way that we both want a circle of close friends. I guess I was pretty lucky.. I did get that. Quite a lot too you know! So yea. I pray she'll be able to find it too, and that she'll do a better job than I did!!! Friendship is a tough journey man. Pray you'll find friends that love you as much as you love them... and that they will treat you well. Pretty coolio lo. Ray is soooooooo.. wise oh. Like when she was talking about her judgmental friend, like she even kinda told her friend off for judging one of their friends. So articulate oh! I don't think I would be able to be ever talk that way lo! And like the way she views stuff is so mature lo. How she said she will take care of her mum in the future.. how she says should never judge people etc. So seldom to meet people like that. Haha. Once again, made me kinda realise that indeed everything happens for a reason. Like in Senior 1, I got forced to buy the new uniform tho I was leaving to Melb in a month or so. Then I came back for S3 and I had uniform to wear. Then I didn't do that well in UEC.. then I came here. And so did Elaine (thank God!!!!! Wouldn't know how I would survive without her la) (WHAT ARE THE CHANCES! Two KK ppl in the same school in IRELAND). Then same time zone with Ray, become close to her. In a way, I also kinda became closer with Jason looo.. Drifted from Moses and Eugene.. became closer with Dummy too. But I have no idea where it all leads to. What's gonna happen in the future? I'm kinda worried that by the end of the year.. I might not be close with Jason anymore or Ray etc. You know how life just happens right? So yea. Kinda sad. Guess we just gotta put in the effort no? Has to be two sided!!!!! Haha. Life is mysterious.. Right? God works in mysterious ways. Pretty cool pretty cool. 


6. Oooh! I got 95% for my Maths Paper 2 mock you know!!!!!!!!! SO IMPRESSIVE, if I may say so myself. Like. Super impressive la. Greeshma got 50% for it. So it was a total shock la when I found out. BUT. I didn't manage to get my paper back. Because they just leave all the handouts from teachers at one corner of the library. And you have to go and take it yourself. So someone stole mine. SIGH. Really sad cuz I don't even REMEMBER what I did in the paper. Seriously. But anyway. So when Nini found out, (Elaine told her) she asked me to teach her probability. I was kinda hesitant cuz Prob and Statistics are the two chapters I'm the least confident about. But I said ok I'll try. So I've been looking at the units and revising them and finding ways (in some way, planning) how to explain and teach it. I was kinda worried about it la. I really wanted to do a good job. We had planned for me to teach during lunch today. So yea.. I prayed and worried etc etc. And today arrived. And it went WELL!!!!!!!!! YAYYYY! Super happy la. I blundered from time to time, having to rewind. But it went better than expected. Thank GOD!!!!! :D :D I loved it lo.. Love making a difference!!!!! Helping people! Wheee!! Didn't finish everything but yea.. continue soon if they need it I guess. Saw Nwando (who kinda joined in too but also chatting with her friend on her phone) in the library after school and she was like, "I understand it!!! I get what I'm reading!" kinda thing. And went over to Nini, she could do most of the questions!!!!! Helped her through some of the questions she had trouble with. But yea. SO SATISFYING OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Life is mysterious. God works in mysterious ways. I was really happy lo. So while walking home at 7pm after studying in the library, the weather was GREAT. Well, it was kinda cold, but the sun was shining through the clouds (yes.. shining! at 7pm! Sun sets at like 9pm now!) and it wasn't raining and ridiculously windy like it had been the past few days. What a change! But the point is, is that it's not the first time when I get a great day AND the weather is coincidently great too on that day. Seriously! Rmbr that time 1st of March when I was super hyper and happy? The sky was really beautiful on that day too. And the day Big Bang's song made me happy and I was feeling good? I rmbr thinking the weather wasn't that bad. Give thanks man!!! Give thanks! :D


7. Talked to Ray about future some time ago. She showed me this video. Just made me think about all the other possibilities out there that will let me help people. So ugh la. How do you know which decision is right? AGHHH!! Makes me go crazy oh. Like.. lie-on-the-carpet-face-down crazy! But yea. Check the video out. So amazing la!!!! Srsly! :( I WANNA HELP PPL!!!! 






8. You know, now I'm reading End of the Spear, bt Steve Saint. It's a true story and it's a Christian book. Funnily enough, Ray's parents gave it to me for Christmas (I think) in 2007. Love it that they wrote the year and a wish for me on one of the blank pages in the front lo!! And for some reason, I randomly chose to bring the book here and started reading it. I've been wanting to post about it for quite a while now. It's pretty interesting. The style of writing a little repetitive but that's not the point because it's not fiction anyway. So it's basically about this tribe, the Waodani, living in the deep jungles in Ecuador (I think). And they were savages before, with killing as their way of life. Like if you got to your mid-30s, you would've been considered really old, cuz most people die young because of all the spearing (their weapons are blowguns and spears). But they were introduced to God by missionaries, and since then they've been walking in God's path. No more killing. And the story is about how Steve Saint and his family are going to move to live with them to help them be independent and live as a functional society etc. The journey of making that decision la. So ANYWAY. Nah! "I thought of what King Solomon had said a couple of thousand years ago: "Those who love money will never have enough. How meaningless to think that wealth brings true happiness!" (Ecclesiastes 5:10). I knew from my experience that he was right. I though of all the time-saving devices my North American society had devised: dishwashers, washing machines, dryers, lawn mowers, vacuum cleaners... and the biggest necessity of all- the personal car. With all those time-savers, one would think that we would have lots of time to sit around and fine-tune our relationships with our friends and families. But that never happened. Despite civilization's handy time-savers, life has become such a rat race that we can't afford to stop even for a few days, much less a couple of months without risking everything. The Waodani were the ones who had time to play with babies and tell stories about everyday occurrences." Something to think about, no? Also, "I have long dreaded the thought of getting to the end of life and regretting that I allowed my own timidity or other people's expectations to determine the course of my life. I had decided at a much younger age that several of my beliefs should determine the course of my life." :/ Have YOU lead your life with your timidity and other's expectations making decisions for you? Are you holding fast to your beliefs? Living life satisfactorily, in a way you're proud of? Living it fully? Think about it!!!! Me? I honestly don't know oh. Anyway. "That is the kind of story we yearn for, the kind that ends with "And they live happily ever after." But that never happens. After each chapter, life just grinds on, and we have to go on making choices and living with the consequences." So true. Time never stops. Relentless. Scary! Which brings me to my next point. 


9. Life and Death. It's something that's been on my mind for quite some time you know. Seriously. Scares me so much oh. So there're a few reasons why this has been on my mind. First, it's just generally been there la. Talked to Dummy once or twice about life.. Like how we should appreciate appreciate appreciate family because you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. "Do good deeds" she said. Haha. (ps. Dummy! You know.. the only time when I get a long msg from you is when we talk about death. What the bubbles man!!!!! What a topic to choose to be talkative about! -.- Talkative my head. I take that back. Ugh what am I saying. Haha. But it's true story though. Tsk!!! p~d!!!!). Second, my hostmum's uncle in England passed away. It was kinda expected. And then my hostdad's sister or whoever (somehow related to my hostparents la!) gave birth to a boy last week (pray for them because there were complications and the baby already has had surgery etc!!!!!!!). Just made me think how life and death just happens everyday. No exceptions. "Life just grinds on". So true la. Third, Elaine told me about how one of her friend's bro had Leukemia and he passed away after many years of having that disease. She told me that he was always in hospital and stuff. And we were talking about it la. It's really sad lo. Cuz you're just living your days out in the hospital, so weak. And other people, though they may care about you, they will have their own lives to lead. And eventually, they'll get caught up in life and in a way.. kind of forget you. And especially if, like him, you've had it for so many years, they'll just kinda be desensitized to it bah. And then bam, he passed away. And Elaine said that her friend, the sister, sometimes still says "I wish I had spent more time with him". You SEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Life is so short. So fickle!!! We're all in danger of getting caught up with our own lives you know! We really never know what's going to happen. Don't wait until it's too late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


Fourth and lastly, Jeffrey Voon. It was news that spread really fast. Seriously. I found out from Gee, and I didn't know who he was.. just that he was Andrew Voon's son, the man who owned Coffee Bean and had a heart attack while training for a marathon in Likas. The sad thing is that now the mum and sisters are left behind. So sad la!!!! Nobody knows if it was an accident or a suicide. It's just really sad, how his dad just recently passed and now him. And it made me think about how fickle life is again. Felt sorry for the family. But other than that, didn't feel much except for fear for time. And then even when things like that happen, Chelsea still gets into the finals of the FA Cup, the Leaving Cert still approaches, birthdays are still celebrated. Life grinds on. And we just have to make choices and keep living. :( So..... unfair laaa!!!!!! Then the other day, was talking to Elaine about him, and she showed me a photo of him from Facebook and my heart honestly skipped a beat and I was totally shocked. I knew who he was! I didn't know that I knew him! But it's him!!!! I've seen him forever!!! Since primary school man! A year older than me. Same primary school then in TTSS again. Always just seen him around. And unexpectedly, it really did bring me down lo. Like, it made me feel that life was just soooo unfair that it brought tears to my eyes oh. So sad! So shocking! I don't know what I was feeling la. :( :( :( Like that day, I was really kinda down lo. And the reason was because of the information I had just learnt. And before bed, I told Dummy, "Really scared me. That I knew Jeffrey Voon. Been seeing him all my life since pri sch. So scary la! Imagine how it would be if someone you used to see all the time just disappeared forever. :((((((((( Can you imagine that? Think about it eh! Like if suddenly forever and ever you can't ever see someone who's always just been there. Friend or family or distant cousin. Scary! N also, like if you died tmr, would you say you lived life to the fullest? Content with where you are and what you've done? :( Spend time doing things that matter! Sososososo tired. I hope I don't die tmr. Cuz if I do, I would've spent my time just studying and being in this country so far away. Blah. Scary. Pray pray pray. Gnite". I was really down that day. All these thoughts amplified in my head.. weighing on my heart. Like Ray said, what is education without family? It's true!!!!!!! There's so much more to life than just this lo. It really just...... makes me so upset it's kinda silly cuz I didn't even really know him. But today walking to school, I was kinda thinking about it, and suddenly, out of no where, this quote from Harry Potter 7 popped into my head: Don't pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, above all those who live without love - Dumbledore. And that made me feel somehow better. Pray. Said to Dummy, pray that God won't ever give us something we can't handle (that will make ppl commit suicide), pray that God will watch over the Voon family, pray that God will have mercy on them, on us all. Seriously. Make sure your priorities are right ok!!!!!!!!!!! Some things matter more than others. :) Appreciate your family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lest it's too late. Yer. Time is so scary!!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( Hope the weight on my heart will lift soon. Feel so worried oh. Racing against time. In every thing. 


Well. This was a super duper long post. CHISOHAMNIDA! Haha. Spent all of today writing oh! Haha. Study tmr!!! Might go to a nearby library. We'll see. To end this kinda super serious post, when I told Jason that I've been worried and stressed.. headache and stuff. He said "relax your mind. Even Stephen Hawkings used to do rowing when he was bored" Whuttttttt. That made me laugh. Haha. Gnite yall! LOVE! LIVE WITH LOVE!!!!!!!!! 


28/4/12 01:00 EXACTLY!