Hey guys. Yea I know. I kept it up for a while. Sigh. I'm seriously telling you, Facebook has some kind of ridiculous hold on me. I think that it's because of the restlessness I get all the time. So I just sit there and click 'refresh' and close the window and open it again. And again.
So guys. (haha to the fact I always deceive myself to the fact that there is a chance someone actually reads this). The latest thing is my exams. My Year 11 exams that in my childish opinion, doesn't matter. I just thought/think that I could, for once in my life, not study so hard for these exams. My whole life, or let's say, for my entire high school life (since form 1 or Year 7), it's been about studying for exams. And studying means sleeping at 12am or later, memorising stuff and being able to recite CHAPTERS from the text book. (yes, there actually IS a reason why I call myself a geek). So yea. After my Year 12 exam (Maths Methods), I just thought that I.. you know.. kind of deserved to NOT study like a crazy Asian idiot for once. But well, my mum has been totally ROAR about it. Well, not ROAR. She's just been pestering me to study and study and sometimes, IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM. My whole life I've delivered good grades.
Sigh. Gotta chill. Anyway. The fact that I didn't want to study made me complacent about it. (apparently 'contented' is a synonym of 'complacent' :D). Which I don't mind, because it's my own decision. And I know what kind of results I'm gonna get. Just average. "OMYGOOSHHHHHH JUST AVERAGE?????? WHAT KIND OF ASIAN ARE YOUUUUUU?". (-.-) I know. I'll probably feel the sting when everyone else gets better results than me. But oh well. I'm not a hypocrite, I don't complain about things that are of my own fault (I try not to anyway). But karma, I'm telling you. Or maybe it's God. Haha. I'm sure it's God who controls karma anyway. Well. So I had my Gen A (General A, aka AGM (Advanced General Maths), aka Specialist Maths Units 1,2)(phew) exam yesterday and there was this tough question at the end (this is Tech Open, means the one with a calculator and notes). It wasn't that tough, it was just that I didn't understand the sentence they used. So I was stuck there for quite a while, just trying to interpret what the person was trying to say. So imagine my elation when I finally GOT IT. And when I got out, and the discussion was going on and everything, I found out I did a REALLY REALLY... REALLYYY silly mistake. I square rooted (9+4m^2) to (3+2m)!!!!!! WHO DOES THAT???????? Oh gosh. So that was karma case number one. :) THEN, today I had my Literature exam and BOY am I glad that I'm not doing Lit anymore next year. The exam was on Othello, The Great Gatsby, and a poem which was The Second Coming. So there was Section A: the analytical essay, Section B: extract analysis, then it was questions for the poem. So GUESS WHAT? I did the same text, The Great Gatsby, for both Section A and Section B. And apparently we're not supposed to do that. WHO KNEW (Pink.. -.- (the song))? Ugh. Oh well.
(BTW, sorry about all the brackets, which could means something like a thought above a thought, or a voice over, or a sarcastic comment. This is just the train of my thoughts which is ALWAYSSS running). Ok. Drumroll. My Methods exam. THE ONE THAT MATTERS. Oh goshhhhhhh. It was like something I've actually experience before. You know when you're in an exam, and you're doing maths, and you are feel your cells hurrying because you KNOW you don't have enough time and you just skip ahead of yourself and do questions halfway, get stuck, and go to the next question without finishing that one? That's what I did for my Methods Tech Open, and I did it for A LOT of questions. So yea. It was kind of expected and the paper. Oh goshhhhhhh the paper was SOOOOO HARD. We've been doing like LOADS of past papers and trial exams. Like 10, and if you want to count them by Tech Open as one and Tech Free as one, then it would've been like 20. Or so. I don't know. I never counted. Anyway. So the past VCAA ones, which is the ____ (insert own noun here.. company? thingo?) that produces our exam papers, they were all ok. Like they weren't easy peasy, they were some tough ones, but they were all do-able. Then you come to the other trial exams, like Insight, Kilbaha etc, they were all SO HARD. Like you-just-get-so-lazy-and-just-give-up-half-way hard! They were crazy. But THIS YEAR'S exam was like those ones. It was just so harddddddd. I'm serious when I'm saying that it was hard. I was doing the paper, literally sitting there and trying to think, and my exact train of thought was: 'THIS is the exam that actually matters. THE VCE exam. And I can't do it.' So yea. For Tech Free, they were pretty easy but the last question. It wasn't particularly hard, just that there's never been those kind of questions before so, naturally, with me being me, I got stuck. I THOUGHT of similar triangles BUT kept focusing on the area. ARGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! It was just the ratio!!!!!!!!
You know, the worst thing was when I came out and a few days after that, my friends asked me how I went, and I told them I didn't do very well. It was hard and everything. And they all just kept saying "I'm sure you did fine. You'll be fine". But I'm NOT the kind of person who says things without meaning them. The kind that say negative things so that they'll get reassurance. The kind that put negative captions for their photos saying "oh I look so fat" so people will comment saying otherwise. GOSH. I. DID. BADLY. Oh well. We'll just cross our fingers and hope that everyone else did worse than I did hey? :) Results get out on the 13th of Dec! FREAK OUT!!!!!! I seriously don't know what to expect. Gah.
Tomorrow I'm sitting for my LAST exam this year!!!! How uber exciting!!! But like I said, I haven't been breaking my back over it, so it's all good. :) I've been watching a lot of movies. And because of my insane restlessness on the day I finish my Methods exam, I downloaded this software that allows me to play DS games on my Mac. And I'm playing Harvest Moon DS!!! WOOO!!!!!! I now have 4 chickens who love me (HAHA) and a horse! And of course crops. OH and I also have a Mushroom Shed. That's a bit sad. But oh welllll. I've watched: (prepare yourself) Die Hard, Die Harder, Die Hard with a Vengeance (all not THAT great). Repo Men (-.-), Cop Out (kind of bad), Whip It (LOVED IT!), Avatar The Last Airbender (couldn't even finish it), The Book Of Eli (AMAZING!!!!!), Date Night (-.-), Kick Ass (ngeh), Eclipse (was actually better than expected), Youth In Revolt (stupid movie) and Killers (not too bad, try hard of Mr and Mrs Smith). :D :D So yea.
What's been hurting me and my insanity for that couple of days NEXT POST! :D
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
First Day
4/10/10
Hey guys! Wow I know. It's been ages since I posted an actual up-to-date post.
So. Here's the thing. We have now officially entered into Term 4! The last term of the year! Daylight savings is activated :O Which means that I'm an additional hour apart from Malaysia, which is kind of messy in terms of meeting friends online because of the time difference. -.- Ok.. My two weeks of holidays were spent back HOME and it was absolutely WONDERFUL. I really, really enjoyed myself back home. I think that I've always loved Malaysia, but after coming to this different country, I've learnt to love Malaysia MORE for everything that it is. So holidays. I got my driver's license!!!!! I got my P's! :D I'm really happy about that. I spent a lot of time on it and my right arm is slightly darker than my left arm (because we drive on the right hand side), but I GOT IT!!!! YAY!!! The examiner was super bored and really just wanted to get it over and done with. I don't blame him, I was his last student and it's been going on the whole day. The part where I was supposed to check the mirrors and everything before driving, and the part where I had to pull my handbreak at the intersection, he was like 'jalan saja jalan saja'. It was pretty funny. Anyway. The best part is mum allowed me to drive BY MYSELF only after sitting with me for like 2 days. I think I just succeeded in boring her so much because of my slow speed, and also because she was busy, so she just couldn't be bothered. But really. YAY for my driving license! :D :D
Ok. I met up with friends and stuff. And did a bit of Methods. Oh and another highlight is that our previously new puppy which is not so much new and not much of a puppy now, was run over by mum accidentally. Because she's still kinda new, she still doesn't know to avoid the moving vehicle with deadly wheels on it. THANKFULLY mum didn't squish her. The puppy is black and it's a reminder of Soda (a male dog which was like our guard dog. He was kind of fierce and always sat in front of the front door) who died of old age (and also, I always imagined his name being spelt with a Zet even though it doesn't make sense). Anyway, so we named the black, also sausage-like puppy Sarsi (I wanted Soda Pop, or Sardine or something, but I guess Sarsi is fine). Anyway. She was injured and stuff, couldn't walk properly and went on an IV drip. She didn't eat and drink and stuff. And one day she did drink but vomited it out. And it so totally reminded me of Lobsters.
5/10/10
Lobsters is (have I never told you about her?) Kev's dog. She.. well.. I can't really remember now. I think she was sick, either that or it was old age. She just didn't eat anything, didn't drink. And even then, she kept vomiting, and you could tell it was absolutely NOTHING. Seriously, I was so shocked and appalled at how fast she lost weight. She really had no belly and it was just scary. The vomit was always sour, and my guess was it was just gastric juices. It was pretty horrible. When she walked or tried to get up, you could see her legs not having enough strength. They just kept slipping on the floor again and again. It was really horrible. She died in the vet clinic my brother took her to. It was really a sad time. She's been with us for ages and she was so pretty. Rest in peace Lobsters! :(
So yea. Sarsi. With all the not eating and vomiting (though seriously not as bad as Lobsters), but I think it was the not eating and the trouble-with-walking that really tugged on my heart. Seriously. I was so worried all the time, and there was one day I woke up and I just felt super down and upset. It was pretty bad. But all good I guess. She started eating and drinking and she PEE-ED! :D She still gags (not vomit, but just gags) as if she's going to vomit but she doesn't. So I guess that's good. I just really really really hope that there's nothing really wrong with her.
So. I guess that's about all that really happened back home apart from the usual meeting up with friends. But I did get a little bit of Methods done. NEWSFLASH! My exam, as in the VCE exam, is in 31 days!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm actually pretty stressed because I feel like I'm still sort of rusty with the first few chapters which are really confusing. Gah. Anyway.. Slowly I guess. :/ Pray!! :D
19/10/10
Ok. Sorry guys. UGH I KNOW. I did try. But seriously. A few weeks have gone and things have changed too. My exam is now closer and I'm still pretty stressed. I went through a really stressed time when I was sure that a 50 wasn't possible for my paper. But now I'm starting to think it's alright again. Before, I think I went just a little bit crazy and I seriously thought I couldn't do it. Like I kept getting these REALLY REALLY simple questions wrong and stuff. It was horrible. I wasn't nervous, I wasn't focused, I wasn't anything. I just couldn't. do. it. But on Monday, we had a practice exam after school that ran until 8pm (3 hours for both papers, not including reading time!). And that was alright. I think that the paper was a little bit too easy but still, CONFIDENCE BOOST. So that's not too bad. I am now in the process of getting my notes all sorted out, and I still have practice papers I can work on. So GO ME!!!
Ok there are other stuff happening too, but why don't I just post this one up first, seeing as it's been a draft for way too long. Stressed for tonight (muck-up) you'll soon know why.
I LOVE CHOCOLATE!!!!! Wait. Rephrase. I NEED CHOCOLATE!!!!!
Love life. :D
Hey guys! Wow I know. It's been ages since I posted an actual up-to-date post.
So. Here's the thing. We have now officially entered into Term 4! The last term of the year! Daylight savings is activated :O Which means that I'm an additional hour apart from Malaysia, which is kind of messy in terms of meeting friends online because of the time difference. -.- Ok.. My two weeks of holidays were spent back HOME and it was absolutely WONDERFUL. I really, really enjoyed myself back home. I think that I've always loved Malaysia, but after coming to this different country, I've learnt to love Malaysia MORE for everything that it is. So holidays. I got my driver's license!!!!! I got my P's! :D I'm really happy about that. I spent a lot of time on it and my right arm is slightly darker than my left arm (because we drive on the right hand side), but I GOT IT!!!! YAY!!! The examiner was super bored and really just wanted to get it over and done with. I don't blame him, I was his last student and it's been going on the whole day. The part where I was supposed to check the mirrors and everything before driving, and the part where I had to pull my handbreak at the intersection, he was like 'jalan saja jalan saja'. It was pretty funny. Anyway. The best part is mum allowed me to drive BY MYSELF only after sitting with me for like 2 days. I think I just succeeded in boring her so much because of my slow speed, and also because she was busy, so she just couldn't be bothered. But really. YAY for my driving license! :D :D
Ok. I met up with friends and stuff. And did a bit of Methods. Oh and another highlight is that our previously new puppy which is not so much new and not much of a puppy now, was run over by mum accidentally. Because she's still kinda new, she still doesn't know to avoid the moving vehicle with deadly wheels on it. THANKFULLY mum didn't squish her. The puppy is black and it's a reminder of Soda (a male dog which was like our guard dog. He was kind of fierce and always sat in front of the front door) who died of old age (and also, I always imagined his name being spelt with a Zet even though it doesn't make sense). Anyway, so we named the black, also sausage-like puppy Sarsi (I wanted Soda Pop, or Sardine or something, but I guess Sarsi is fine). Anyway. She was injured and stuff, couldn't walk properly and went on an IV drip. She didn't eat and drink and stuff. And one day she did drink but vomited it out. And it so totally reminded me of Lobsters.
5/10/10
Lobsters is (have I never told you about her?) Kev's dog. She.. well.. I can't really remember now. I think she was sick, either that or it was old age. She just didn't eat anything, didn't drink. And even then, she kept vomiting, and you could tell it was absolutely NOTHING. Seriously, I was so shocked and appalled at how fast she lost weight. She really had no belly and it was just scary. The vomit was always sour, and my guess was it was just gastric juices. It was pretty horrible. When she walked or tried to get up, you could see her legs not having enough strength. They just kept slipping on the floor again and again. It was really horrible. She died in the vet clinic my brother took her to. It was really a sad time. She's been with us for ages and she was so pretty. Rest in peace Lobsters! :(
So yea. Sarsi. With all the not eating and vomiting (though seriously not as bad as Lobsters), but I think it was the not eating and the trouble-with-walking that really tugged on my heart. Seriously. I was so worried all the time, and there was one day I woke up and I just felt super down and upset. It was pretty bad. But all good I guess. She started eating and drinking and she PEE-ED! :D She still gags (not vomit, but just gags) as if she's going to vomit but she doesn't. So I guess that's good. I just really really really hope that there's nothing really wrong with her.
So. I guess that's about all that really happened back home apart from the usual meeting up with friends. But I did get a little bit of Methods done. NEWSFLASH! My exam, as in the VCE exam, is in 31 days!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm actually pretty stressed because I feel like I'm still sort of rusty with the first few chapters which are really confusing. Gah. Anyway.. Slowly I guess. :/ Pray!! :D
19/10/10
Ok. Sorry guys. UGH I KNOW. I did try. But seriously. A few weeks have gone and things have changed too. My exam is now closer and I'm still pretty stressed. I went through a really stressed time when I was sure that a 50 wasn't possible for my paper. But now I'm starting to think it's alright again. Before, I think I went just a little bit crazy and I seriously thought I couldn't do it. Like I kept getting these REALLY REALLY simple questions wrong and stuff. It was horrible. I wasn't nervous, I wasn't focused, I wasn't anything. I just couldn't. do. it. But on Monday, we had a practice exam after school that ran until 8pm (3 hours for both papers, not including reading time!). And that was alright. I think that the paper was a little bit too easy but still, CONFIDENCE BOOST. So that's not too bad. I am now in the process of getting my notes all sorted out, and I still have practice papers I can work on. So GO ME!!!
Ok there are other stuff happening too, but why don't I just post this one up first, seeing as it's been a draft for way too long. Stressed for tonight (muck-up) you'll soon know why.
I LOVE CHOCOLATE!!!!! Wait. Rephrase. I NEED CHOCOLATE!!!!!
Love life. :D
Sunday, October 3, 2010
My Thoughts Today.
Ok this post will be about what happened today (like my usual boring posts about my day) rather than about updates and stuff like that.
We shall start off with yesterday night. It was past midnight and I was chatting with Jessie. It was such an awesome conversation!!!!!!! BUT THEN, DARN YOU EBUDDY, I forgot to copy and past the conversation (Ebuddy doesn't save your conversations) into my private diary! I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT!!!!!!!!!!! Please, hit me in the head! It was really a great conversation and also had my story in it. Argh! Can't believe it! So I went to sleep with a frustrated heart BUT hopeful too, as Jessie had SABAH OPEN the next day (today)! ANYWAY. The point is, that I slept pretty late.
This morning, I woke up (after snoozing my alarm a couple of times) and took a quick shower. I made toast and did some sandwiches for recess. This is all for Indo school yea.. Just in case you didn't know. Ok. So when I left the boarding house, HAH I saw the tram running away from me. Yay! I had twenty minutes though, so I just walked to the train station which is 4 stops away (pretty far actually). And because I was worried about missing my train, I walked REALLY fast. I had these boots on which weren't THAT comfortable. So yea I basically power walked in the freezing cold with numb fingers and breath getting in my face (walking into my breath which obscures my view for a while) for TEN minutes or so. I have decided ((8) to follow Jesus. The hymn!! You know??) though, that I shall walk to the train station from now on. I really need to get some exercise done.
ANYWAY. I got to Indo school fine and it was a pretty good class. It was a bit weird. But not too bad. Towards the end of the class for like 15 minutes or so, we got to play sepak takraw. I actually really like that sport and support it! As in, I can't play it, but I really look up to people who can play it and I would definitely watch it on tv and stuff. It's really amazing how they can do all those stunts and stuff. Anyway. The ball came towards me and as a really -.- (lame, is that the word?) reflex, I reached out my hand to 'volleyball' it. It totally smacked right into Alwi's face. He was standing next to me. Pretty funny. But kind of sad. Ngeh. (Sad in the sense that my volleyball skills are totally GREAT). So, we had pretty good fun (at least I thought so. And also was trying to keep warm too), then we went back to class for like the last 20 minutes or so.
Then after Indo school, I was supposed to go down to the city to meet this girl and her sister from the boarding house. This girl is Joanne, she's Korean and she's in Year 7. She came here for 4 weeks to try it out to see whether she liked it here or not. Being one who knew what a huge difference it was with someone helping out, I talked to her and walked with her and stuff. I knew what it was like (or is like) to be alone and lonely, and seriously, it really sucks. So I wanted to make a difference. My rational was that even if I didn't know her, doing all these would make her experience here much better and when she goes back to Korea and thinks back, she won't think of how alone and homesick she felt but how it wasn't too bad. Trust me. I've had experiences where I looked back and just shuddered at that memory. Not fun. :( Anyway. So yea Joanne's sister, Noella, studies in Melbourne University. Dentistry. Which is really mind-blowing (at least to me) because, Noella knows Pat. Pat, Kel's best friend. Noella and Pat- same course, same year, same uni. So yea COINCIDENCE? So naturally, Noella asked Pat to come along. And Pat lives in Glen Waverly, which is where my Indo school is. Anyway. Pat asked Kel to come. And I was supposed to train there to meet Joanne and Noella. But I contacted Pat and she said that Kel was coming to pick her up. Just would like to point out that Kel was coming to HER up. Not me.
Anyway. I was pretty sullen in the car. And you know what went through my mind? Identity. I was thinking about how Kel will be introduced to Noella and Joanne. Would she be introduced as Pat's best friend, or would she be introduces as my sister.
ANYWAY. A long time has passed since then. About a month or more than that. Blame the lazy me. I'm seriously slipping man. But I will really TRY ok! Every night I shall spend about half an hour or more on my blog. After study time which is 7-9pm. Good luck with that! It is now a new term, a new beginning, new heartaches etc.
Let us decide that tomorrow will be a good day, shall we? :D
Anyway. I was pretty sullen in the car. And you know what went through my mind? Identity. I was thinking about how Kel will be introduced to Noella and Joanne. Would she be introduced as Pat's best friend, or would she be introduces as my sister.
ANYWAY. A long time has passed since then. About a month or more than that. Blame the lazy me. I'm seriously slipping man. But I will really TRY ok! Every night I shall spend about half an hour or more on my blog. After study time which is 7-9pm. Good luck with that! It is now a new term, a new beginning, new heartaches etc.
Let us decide that tomorrow will be a good day, shall we? :D
Friday, August 6, 2010
I Started. Now Where Do I Finish?
Hey guys! I'm back! I mean, back on Blogger. Anyway. I'm typing in the dark (like yesterday) because my roommate, Morgan is asleep already. So here's some stuff that you haven't been updated on. =) (ruuunnnnn for cover!!!!!!)
So just like most boarding houses, I share a room with another girl and will definitely get a single room next year for Yr 12. My roommate goes to a different school than we all do, because apparently she was enrolled into the school and then the boarding shut down. So they came here. Anyway. It's pretty weird I think. I mean, after thinking about it, (yes, thinking) about it, I get the feeling that she's erm.. in a way not genuine. Ok wait. Background information. She's from the country side, just like most of the girls here. Not genuine as in I think she's sort of desperate to be a city girl. But I could be wrong (just like I am on almost everything). Oh well. It's not too bad. But with the huge chop/stamp that has the word 'FAILED' in uge red letters, stamp that onto the relationships I have with the boarders. They're all okay. We do talk about pretty superficial stuff, they are nice. They took pretty good care of me when I first got here. They are all pretty funny. But then just anything other than superficial? Down goes the stamp onto the imaginary line that links me and the other girls.
It's a big difference. Seriously. It's not that I don't know about these things, it's just that I've never witnessed/experienced it first hand or know the people directly. What 'things' am I talking about? You know. Sex (:O), drinking, andddddd. That's about it I think. I don't know. THOSE things, you know? I was so shocked at how 'exposed' these people are. And they're about the same age as I am! =( To be honest, I actually. Ok. I was chatting and when I came back I forgot what I wanted to say with that sentence. Moving on then. There was this one time I was chatting with one of the boarders on a Friday. I asked her what her plans were and she said she was so angry. She explained that it was because Mrs Kennedy (our boarding supervisor) didn't allow to spend the weekend away. I asked her why and where was she going. She said she was going to stay overnight in her boyfriend's farm (country side too). I was like. Ermmmmm wellll. In my mind I was like 'obviouslllllyyyyyy she'll say no' but I just said something like 'what? Why wouldn't she let you?'. I'm so amused.
Anyway. I'm really a sore thumb here. Seriously. Half the time I'm not even being myself. Honestly speaking, I'm actually a real geek (hah as if you don't know that already). As in, I could say my favourite subject was Maths. Shocker! Haha. But then when I came here I had to (well.. not had to. I was like) 'oh I have Methods next. Ugh.' or something like that for every maths and sci class when in actual fact those are the classes I most enjoy. I would so rather go for a whole day of logical maths and science classes (well.. maybe not a whole day) than Eng and Lit. Half the time I had to conceal myself and act like I hate maths and science, that I dread it, and that I don't study when I actually do. Oh well. It's gotten better now. They sort of know that I'm smart in a way and yadda yadda. The whole boarding is not maths and science. They're all doing the 'white subjects' as they call it. Like Food Tech, Phys Ed (Physical Education), History and stuff like that. That's fine. The thing is that I think it's hard to relate to them because of that. Sort of. Yea it is actually. But it's not too bad (and please don't think I'm saying those aren't good subjects. Just talking about not being able to relate and stuff).
Awkward part coming up! You know I was so.. embarrassed about what I believed to be true. You know what I think is true, what is me. Like how I am so geek as to never swear, and.. drumroll, actually AM a Catholic? (Did I mention my school was Catholic?). So we have to go to mass every Sunday together. Ok. Things like praying before meals and actually meaning it, and going to mass, it's all different here. I was so totally worried before. Me? I actually want to go to mass every week. I actually listen to the readings and the priest's sermon. I actually kneel and pray and mean the words in my heart. I was really so worried about mass before. I was so worried so worried. I was wondering how I would be able to look like I don't care but still listen and stuff like that. And of course there was the thought running through my head amongst all this. The thought that goes something like 'You shouldn't be ashamed of those kind of things. You should be proud..' and stuff like that. It was really worrying for me. I did not want to stand out more than I already did. But don't worry. It all ended well. It turns out I could sort of do whatever I wanted. It wasn't too bad. That's a huge relief.
Well. I'm really tired. Gotta get up for Indo school tomorrow! Gnite world! Stay safe! =)
So just like most boarding houses, I share a room with another girl and will definitely get a single room next year for Yr 12. My roommate goes to a different school than we all do, because apparently she was enrolled into the school and then the boarding shut down. So they came here. Anyway. It's pretty weird I think. I mean, after thinking about it, (yes, thinking) about it, I get the feeling that she's erm.. in a way not genuine. Ok wait. Background information. She's from the country side, just like most of the girls here. Not genuine as in I think she's sort of desperate to be a city girl. But I could be wrong (just like I am on almost everything). Oh well. It's not too bad. But with the huge chop/stamp that has the word 'FAILED' in uge red letters, stamp that onto the relationships I have with the boarders. They're all okay. We do talk about pretty superficial stuff, they are nice. They took pretty good care of me when I first got here. They are all pretty funny. But then just anything other than superficial? Down goes the stamp onto the imaginary line that links me and the other girls.
It's a big difference. Seriously. It's not that I don't know about these things, it's just that I've never witnessed/experienced it first hand or know the people directly. What 'things' am I talking about? You know. Sex (:O), drinking, andddddd. That's about it I think. I don't know. THOSE things, you know? I was so shocked at how 'exposed' these people are. And they're about the same age as I am! =( To be honest, I actually. Ok. I was chatting and when I came back I forgot what I wanted to say with that sentence. Moving on then. There was this one time I was chatting with one of the boarders on a Friday. I asked her what her plans were and she said she was so angry. She explained that it was because Mrs Kennedy (our boarding supervisor) didn't allow to spend the weekend away. I asked her why and where was she going. She said she was going to stay overnight in her boyfriend's farm (country side too). I was like. Ermmmmm wellll. In my mind I was like 'obviouslllllyyyyyy she'll say no' but I just said something like 'what? Why wouldn't she let you?'. I'm so amused.
Anyway. I'm really a sore thumb here. Seriously. Half the time I'm not even being myself. Honestly speaking, I'm actually a real geek (hah as if you don't know that already). As in, I could say my favourite subject was Maths. Shocker! Haha. But then when I came here I had to (well.. not had to. I was like) 'oh I have Methods next. Ugh.' or something like that for every maths and sci class when in actual fact those are the classes I most enjoy. I would so rather go for a whole day of logical maths and science classes (well.. maybe not a whole day) than Eng and Lit. Half the time I had to conceal myself and act like I hate maths and science, that I dread it, and that I don't study when I actually do. Oh well. It's gotten better now. They sort of know that I'm smart in a way and yadda yadda. The whole boarding is not maths and science. They're all doing the 'white subjects' as they call it. Like Food Tech, Phys Ed (Physical Education), History and stuff like that. That's fine. The thing is that I think it's hard to relate to them because of that. Sort of. Yea it is actually. But it's not too bad (and please don't think I'm saying those aren't good subjects. Just talking about not being able to relate and stuff).
Awkward part coming up! You know I was so.. embarrassed about what I believed to be true. You know what I think is true, what is me. Like how I am so geek as to never swear, and.. drumroll, actually AM a Catholic? (Did I mention my school was Catholic?). So we have to go to mass every Sunday together. Ok. Things like praying before meals and actually meaning it, and going to mass, it's all different here. I was so totally worried before. Me? I actually want to go to mass every week. I actually listen to the readings and the priest's sermon. I actually kneel and pray and mean the words in my heart. I was really so worried about mass before. I was so worried so worried. I was wondering how I would be able to look like I don't care but still listen and stuff like that. And of course there was the thought running through my head amongst all this. The thought that goes something like 'You shouldn't be ashamed of those kind of things. You should be proud..' and stuff like that. It was really worrying for me. I did not want to stand out more than I already did. But don't worry. It all ended well. It turns out I could sort of do whatever I wanted. It wasn't too bad. That's a huge relief.
Well. I'm really tired. Gotta get up for Indo school tomorrow! Gnite world! Stay safe! =)
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Where Do I Start?
There're so many things that have happened. And I owe it all to myself that I am so lost and don't even know where to begin. I have thousands of meaningless, foolish rants to share, news that will be entirely new to you, anddddd basically just nothing that comes to anything. =)
I guess I shall start with where I am now. As you might have found out from the previous post, I am in a boarding house now, in a totally different school. (You must understand that at this very moment that I'm talking, I'm not feeling very content. Shall explain more about this feeling that is NOT love.) So yes, I have transferred school and it's now my third week. So far so good I guess. There are a lot of small differences (ok. Wait. Maybe not THAT small) that I don't really like. I don't know. I'm more of a laid-back kind of girl (a hippy, I told my mum) who doesn't like too many rules binding her down. I guess. I'm not too sure about it. It depends really. I'm too lazy to analyse the full picture. THE POINT IS, I'm now going to a private school. So yes, I'm dressed everyday in this drab uniform which is GREY, the most boring colour when it's by itself, and wearing a blazer. Pfftt I don't even want to mention the tunic. Tunic they call it, when it's a pinafore. Yes. The pinafore that most schools use back home. And it's GREY! Well, to be honest, it actually doesn't look THAT bad, the idea is worst.
Ok. Pedantic. That's a pretty new word to me, and it definitely applies to the school. I just dislike how most teachers conform to the school rules (it's good in a way I guesssssss ngeh). Like in my old school, when a student was late, it was up to the teacher whether she would need a late pass or not. A late pass. It's pretty much just a paper saying you're late. It doesn't serve any other purpose whatsoever. Back home, being late would mean a demerit or something, but here it just means being even later because you have to GOOOO and get the late pass. In my old some teachers wouldn't ask you to get a late pass, it depends. But so far, ALL the teachers ask you to get a late pass in this school. But it actually does serve a purpose. It is actually recorded down and shows up in your transcript the number of time you've been late. Still. It's pretty annoying. (I know I know. I'm just this foolish girl. It's GOOD that the teachers abide by the rules and everything. Doesn't mean I like it. Ngehhh).
The boarding house is actually not on campus. So that means I tram down to school every morning. It's pretty inconvenient. And the distance is just a little too far to walk. But it's not so bad I guess. I live in a suburb called Camberwell. It's a pretty nice suburb I guess. It has Borders, so I'm happy. But I don't really have time to go down to the shops or anything (pfft as if I have company to go with). I've only been down once.
OK MOVING ON. As mentioned in a post before, I have to do 6 subjects in school. I have got to admit, it's not that easy. Means that I'm doing 7 subjects including Indonesian outside of school. I really, really dislike not having any frees to do my work. It's really, really, stressful/annoying/upsetting/STRESSFUL. ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I used to use all my frees to do my homework or do some studying or something. But now I don't have that time I feel so overwhelmed like there's this humongous tidal wave growing higher and higher above my head and it's going to crash down on me soon. It's THAT stressful to me. And my fall-back subject, Literature, is ironically the one giving me the most stress. Seriously? I have Outcomes (like big tests or fake SACs, which are important tests for Yr 12 subjects that go into your average) for Literature lined up. I just had one today and I'm going to have one a week or so later. ARGHHHHH!!!!! It's SO ANNOYING. Ok. Why did I choose Lit as this fall-back subject (ARGHHHHHHHHH)? Well. I was thinking of doing like Food Technology (Home Economics, but just cooking) or something like that, but I thought that it would be a pretty good opportunity to expaannnndddd my knowledge and learn about the classic books and stuff. We're doing The Great Gatsby now which is pretty good, except for the fact that I HAVEN'T FINISHED THE BOOK (and I had a fake SAC today hah) (and that I also have Julius Caesar to read for English). I also don't like the fact that this Lit teacher, Mr. Rooney, is so... not literature. It's so English. But I have a suspicion that I'm prejudiced because I loved Ms. Touvoli's classes from my old school. He is going to make us do oral stuff which is English. And I don't know, it just doesn't really seem like a Lit class. It's just basically English. Like today out fake SAC was a creative response which I don't think you do in Lit. Oh wellllllllll..... I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm broadening my amazingly narrow scope of knowledge. Sniff.
Anyway, it's 11pm. I'm going to bed. Shocker huh? When did 11pm stop me? Haha. It's another story, for another day (How I Met Your Mother reference!!!!!!!!). Gnite world!
Reminder: THE feeling empty, people in boarding, lost, books movies list, prefect, piano, food, youngest, refined!
Note on refined: IN YOUR FACE!!!!!
I guess I shall start with where I am now. As you might have found out from the previous post, I am in a boarding house now, in a totally different school. (You must understand that at this very moment that I'm talking, I'm not feeling very content. Shall explain more about this feeling that is NOT love.) So yes, I have transferred school and it's now my third week. So far so good I guess. There are a lot of small differences (ok. Wait. Maybe not THAT small) that I don't really like. I don't know. I'm more of a laid-back kind of girl (a hippy, I told my mum) who doesn't like too many rules binding her down. I guess. I'm not too sure about it. It depends really. I'm too lazy to analyse the full picture. THE POINT IS, I'm now going to a private school. So yes, I'm dressed everyday in this drab uniform which is GREY, the most boring colour when it's by itself, and wearing a blazer. Pfftt I don't even want to mention the tunic. Tunic they call it, when it's a pinafore. Yes. The pinafore that most schools use back home. And it's GREY! Well, to be honest, it actually doesn't look THAT bad, the idea is worst.
Ok. Pedantic. That's a pretty new word to me, and it definitely applies to the school. I just dislike how most teachers conform to the school rules (it's good in a way I guesssssss ngeh). Like in my old school, when a student was late, it was up to the teacher whether she would need a late pass or not. A late pass. It's pretty much just a paper saying you're late. It doesn't serve any other purpose whatsoever. Back home, being late would mean a demerit or something, but here it just means being even later because you have to GOOOO and get the late pass. In my old some teachers wouldn't ask you to get a late pass, it depends. But so far, ALL the teachers ask you to get a late pass in this school. But it actually does serve a purpose. It is actually recorded down and shows up in your transcript the number of time you've been late. Still. It's pretty annoying. (I know I know. I'm just this foolish girl. It's GOOD that the teachers abide by the rules and everything. Doesn't mean I like it. Ngehhh).
The boarding house is actually not on campus. So that means I tram down to school every morning. It's pretty inconvenient. And the distance is just a little too far to walk. But it's not so bad I guess. I live in a suburb called Camberwell. It's a pretty nice suburb I guess. It has Borders, so I'm happy. But I don't really have time to go down to the shops or anything (pfft as if I have company to go with). I've only been down once.
OK MOVING ON. As mentioned in a post before, I have to do 6 subjects in school. I have got to admit, it's not that easy. Means that I'm doing 7 subjects including Indonesian outside of school. I really, really dislike not having any frees to do my work. It's really, really, stressful/annoying/upsetting/STRESSFUL. ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I used to use all my frees to do my homework or do some studying or something. But now I don't have that time I feel so overwhelmed like there's this humongous tidal wave growing higher and higher above my head and it's going to crash down on me soon. It's THAT stressful to me. And my fall-back subject, Literature, is ironically the one giving me the most stress. Seriously? I have Outcomes (like big tests or fake SACs, which are important tests for Yr 12 subjects that go into your average) for Literature lined up. I just had one today and I'm going to have one a week or so later. ARGHHHHH!!!!! It's SO ANNOYING. Ok. Why did I choose Lit as this fall-back subject (ARGHHHHHHHHH)? Well. I was thinking of doing like Food Technology (Home Economics, but just cooking) or something like that, but I thought that it would be a pretty good opportunity to expaannnndddd my knowledge and learn about the classic books and stuff. We're doing The Great Gatsby now which is pretty good, except for the fact that I HAVEN'T FINISHED THE BOOK (and I had a fake SAC today hah) (and that I also have Julius Caesar to read for English). I also don't like the fact that this Lit teacher, Mr. Rooney, is so... not literature. It's so English. But I have a suspicion that I'm prejudiced because I loved Ms. Touvoli's classes from my old school. He is going to make us do oral stuff which is English. And I don't know, it just doesn't really seem like a Lit class. It's just basically English. Like today out fake SAC was a creative response which I don't think you do in Lit. Oh wellllllllll..... I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm broadening my amazingly narrow scope of knowledge. Sniff.
Anyway, it's 11pm. I'm going to bed. Shocker huh? When did 11pm stop me? Haha. It's another story, for another day (How I Met Your Mother reference!!!!!!!!). Gnite world!
Reminder: THE feeling empty, people in boarding, lost, books movies list, prefect, piano, food, youngest, refined!
Note on refined: IN YOUR FACE!!!!!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Freak Out!
Ok. So it's been a week since I've been back here in Aus. Eurgh.
So now I'm sitting here in my new boarding school. I've been here for a couple of hours already and now I'm starting to wonder WHAT AM I DOING HERE????? Is this really the right choice? Do you know what sticking out like a really sore, swollen, bruised, purple thumb with an overgrown nail means? That's me. Because my school (this new one) and this boarding house doesn't accept international students. So I'm basically the ONLY Asian here. Pfft what do you mean 'basically'? I AM. I'm really freaking out.
Let's leave it there for now. Pam's here. More next time. Going to try to be normal and relax.
Pfft.
So now I'm sitting here in my new boarding school. I've been here for a couple of hours already and now I'm starting to wonder WHAT AM I DOING HERE????? Is this really the right choice? Do you know what sticking out like a really sore, swollen, bruised, purple thumb with an overgrown nail means? That's me. Because my school (this new one) and this boarding house doesn't accept international students. So I'm basically the ONLY Asian here. Pfft what do you mean 'basically'? I AM. I'm really freaking out.
Let's leave it there for now. Pam's here. More next time. Going to try to be normal and relax.
Pfft.
Great Land!
Hey! If you didn't know, I'm back home! HOME! Do you understand what that word means? It's where I am now! How lame.
Ok. Here're just some random statements and stuff about being back, some of which I only realize when I take a step back and really look and see. Enjoy!
I have to get used to sweating now. I'm so not used to it that when I sweat, I think it's hot. I can't play volleyball much or stay out in the sun much because the moment I start sweating, I'm saying that it's too hot when it's actually just normal temperature.
I love the heat. Well, not so much the heat itself. More like the fact that I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt. When I was packing I almost forgot to pack my thongs (flip-flops! Not underwear!) because I haven't worn them in AGES (too cold). But I am undoubtedly not that used to it anymore. I used to be able to wear long-sleeved shirts here no problem. But now I can't imagine it AT ALL.
I love the whatever-you-call-it culture here. How friends and friends meet up for supper, have a cup of teh tarik and a packet of nasi lemak. How families go out for supper, have some roti kahwin and milo bing gao. How they just sit there for an hour or so and just chat and chat, in the ever-bustling shop, in the stuffy heat.
I have to get used to the fact that toilet paper is not provided here.
I love the soft thrumming of the ceiling fans as they turn. Together with the heat, they perfect the feel of home.
I am amazed at how it feels like it's been absolutely forever since I've been in my home. And how things have stayed the same, how I hardly think about my home when I'm down under, how familiar yet unfamiliar it seems. Amazed.
I feel like I'm somewhat stuck in the past. I wonder what routine my friends have when I'm not here. Do they come to the stationery shop as well? Do they all hang out together every recess as well?
I love the fact that I feel perfectly (somewhat) content here.
I dislike it very much that everyone is in school and no one is online and I'm just deperately bored.
I dislike it very much that I don't have my driver's license yet. Very, very much. VERY much.
I love how familiar Tur's house is, and Pei's. I didn't get to go to Steph's house.
I absolutely LOVE how I can turn off the shower in between shampooing and conditioning etc. I would totally just bite my tongue off from shivering if I do that here. Sigh.
I love how you only get like one or two cars out of ten who put on their blinkers/signals when waiting to do a turn, when in Aus EVERY car has their blinkers on.
Sigh. I'm sorry.. I know. I've been pretty busy or caught up in stuff that I didn't get to posting this until NOW, when I'm one week back in Aus and sort of freaking out. To the next post to find out.
But regardless, regardless of all the flaws the people at home have, regardless of all the flaws my home has, regardless of all the flaws of everythinggggg back home, It Is Still Home and I smiled and laughed, and I loved. It's home.
Ok. Here're just some random statements and stuff about being back, some of which I only realize when I take a step back and really look and see. Enjoy!
I have to get used to sweating now. I'm so not used to it that when I sweat, I think it's hot. I can't play volleyball much or stay out in the sun much because the moment I start sweating, I'm saying that it's too hot when it's actually just normal temperature.
I love the heat. Well, not so much the heat itself. More like the fact that I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt. When I was packing I almost forgot to pack my thongs (flip-flops! Not underwear!) because I haven't worn them in AGES (too cold). But I am undoubtedly not that used to it anymore. I used to be able to wear long-sleeved shirts here no problem. But now I can't imagine it AT ALL.
I love the whatever-you-call-it culture here. How friends and friends meet up for supper, have a cup of teh tarik and a packet of nasi lemak. How families go out for supper, have some roti kahwin and milo bing gao. How they just sit there for an hour or so and just chat and chat, in the ever-bustling shop, in the stuffy heat.
I have to get used to the fact that toilet paper is not provided here.
I love the soft thrumming of the ceiling fans as they turn. Together with the heat, they perfect the feel of home.
I am amazed at how it feels like it's been absolutely forever since I've been in my home. And how things have stayed the same, how I hardly think about my home when I'm down under, how familiar yet unfamiliar it seems. Amazed.
I feel like I'm somewhat stuck in the past. I wonder what routine my friends have when I'm not here. Do they come to the stationery shop as well? Do they all hang out together every recess as well?
I love the fact that I feel perfectly (somewhat) content here.
I dislike it very much that everyone is in school and no one is online and I'm just deperately bored.
I dislike it very much that I don't have my driver's license yet. Very, very much. VERY much.
I love how familiar Tur's house is, and Pei's. I didn't get to go to Steph's house.
I absolutely LOVE how I can turn off the shower in between shampooing and conditioning etc. I would totally just bite my tongue off from shivering if I do that here. Sigh.
I love how you only get like one or two cars out of ten who put on their blinkers/signals when waiting to do a turn, when in Aus EVERY car has their blinkers on.
Sigh. I'm sorry.. I know. I've been pretty busy or caught up in stuff that I didn't get to posting this until NOW, when I'm one week back in Aus and sort of freaking out. To the next post to find out.
But regardless, regardless of all the flaws the people at home have, regardless of all the flaws my home has, regardless of all the flaws of everythinggggg back home, It Is Still Home and I smiled and laughed, and I loved. It's home.
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