Hey guys! I'm back! I mean, back on Blogger. Anyway. I'm typing in the dark (like yesterday) because my roommate, Morgan is asleep already. So here's some stuff that you haven't been updated on. =) (ruuunnnnn for cover!!!!!!)
So just like most boarding houses, I share a room with another girl and will definitely get a single room next year for Yr 12. My roommate goes to a different school than we all do, because apparently she was enrolled into the school and then the boarding shut down. So they came here. Anyway. It's pretty weird I think. I mean, after thinking about it, (yes, thinking) about it, I get the feeling that she's erm.. in a way not genuine. Ok wait. Background information. She's from the country side, just like most of the girls here. Not genuine as in I think she's sort of desperate to be a city girl. But I could be wrong (just like I am on almost everything). Oh well. It's not too bad. But with the huge chop/stamp that has the word 'FAILED' in uge red letters, stamp that onto the relationships I have with the boarders. They're all okay. We do talk about pretty superficial stuff, they are nice. They took pretty good care of me when I first got here. They are all pretty funny. But then just anything other than superficial? Down goes the stamp onto the imaginary line that links me and the other girls.
It's a big difference. Seriously. It's not that I don't know about these things, it's just that I've never witnessed/experienced it first hand or know the people directly. What 'things' am I talking about? You know. Sex (:O), drinking, andddddd. That's about it I think. I don't know. THOSE things, you know? I was so shocked at how 'exposed' these people are. And they're about the same age as I am! =( To be honest, I actually. Ok. I was chatting and when I came back I forgot what I wanted to say with that sentence. Moving on then. There was this one time I was chatting with one of the boarders on a Friday. I asked her what her plans were and she said she was so angry. She explained that it was because Mrs Kennedy (our boarding supervisor) didn't allow to spend the weekend away. I asked her why and where was she going. She said she was going to stay overnight in her boyfriend's farm (country side too). I was like. Ermmmmm wellll. In my mind I was like 'obviouslllllyyyyyy she'll say no' but I just said something like 'what? Why wouldn't she let you?'. I'm so amused.
Anyway. I'm really a sore thumb here. Seriously. Half the time I'm not even being myself. Honestly speaking, I'm actually a real geek (hah as if you don't know that already). As in, I could say my favourite subject was Maths. Shocker! Haha. But then when I came here I had to (well.. not had to. I was like) 'oh I have Methods next. Ugh.' or something like that for every maths and sci class when in actual fact those are the classes I most enjoy. I would so rather go for a whole day of logical maths and science classes (well.. maybe not a whole day) than Eng and Lit. Half the time I had to conceal myself and act like I hate maths and science, that I dread it, and that I don't study when I actually do. Oh well. It's gotten better now. They sort of know that I'm smart in a way and yadda yadda. The whole boarding is not maths and science. They're all doing the 'white subjects' as they call it. Like Food Tech, Phys Ed (Physical Education), History and stuff like that. That's fine. The thing is that I think it's hard to relate to them because of that. Sort of. Yea it is actually. But it's not too bad (and please don't think I'm saying those aren't good subjects. Just talking about not being able to relate and stuff).
Awkward part coming up! You know I was so.. embarrassed about what I believed to be true. You know what I think is true, what is me. Like how I am so geek as to never swear, and.. drumroll, actually AM a Catholic? (Did I mention my school was Catholic?). So we have to go to mass every Sunday together. Ok. Things like praying before meals and actually meaning it, and going to mass, it's all different here. I was so totally worried before. Me? I actually want to go to mass every week. I actually listen to the readings and the priest's sermon. I actually kneel and pray and mean the words in my heart. I was really so worried about mass before. I was so worried so worried. I was wondering how I would be able to look like I don't care but still listen and stuff like that. And of course there was the thought running through my head amongst all this. The thought that goes something like 'You shouldn't be ashamed of those kind of things. You should be proud..' and stuff like that. It was really worrying for me. I did not want to stand out more than I already did. But don't worry. It all ended well. It turns out I could sort of do whatever I wanted. It wasn't too bad. That's a huge relief.
Well. I'm really tired. Gotta get up for Indo school tomorrow! Gnite world! Stay safe! =)
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