Jessie! Did you watch? =D

So You Think You Can Dance, Season Six, Arizona.

HAHAHAHAHAHA. I have no idea why but I really like this one.

Jonathan Noronha. Enjoy. =D

Come on. You have got to admit, dropping the baton on purpose was a good one. Haha.

Happy Note

Yesterday was fun. I was using the computer, looking for which phone and laptop I want to buy when Steph sent me a text asking me to go to school to join them for cross country practice. I immediately went to change and got everything and left, ignoring the fact that I just finished up what was left of the Pineapple Tarts. Hehe.

We started out behind everybody else but it was okay. I ran with Pei for a while but couldn't keep up. Lights were dancing in my head already by the time we hit the 'hill'. So I lagged behind. When I reached the bottom of the 'hill' at the main road, I waited there for Liau and everyone else (Pei, Tur, Liau, Angela, Steph and Joey were all running). Then I met Liau and Angela. They kept going and I waited for Tur and the others. I walked with them for a while then continued running. After not running for AGES, it was really tiring. Seriously. I couldn't keep running, I had to stop to catch my breath. Willpower all out of the window. But it's okay. I sort of enjoyed myself. In the end I ran with Angela and Liau. On and off though. But we finished together. =D In the middle, I also met up with Amos. He's faster than me. Hahaha. =D =D

I think it was really fun, because I haven't run for so long. After that at about 5.30pm, after rest and buying White Tea with Steph and watching standing with Tur in the hall where Orange Hse dancing practice was, I went to the volleyball court. I couldn't really do anything because my legs were seriously sore and numb. I haven't felt such sore legs in a long long time. The night after that was horrible. Aching and sore. Seriously. And then I had a stomach ache. Gosh. Didn't get much sleep.

Anyway. It was fun. =D Haven't ran such a distance in so long. Yay! =D

Lastly, this is the product of watching too much television:

Let's Just Fall In Love Again- Jason Castro

It's an AWESOME song. Really catchy and so.. carefree and happy. Seriously happy. The lyrics are great and I can only hope that I'll be able to find a love like that someday? Hahaha. Enjoy.

Lets pretend baby
That you've just met me
And Ive never seen you before
Ill tell all my friends
That I think you're staring
And you say the same to yours

And oh, well dance around it all night
And then Ill follow you outside
And try to open up my mouth
And nothing comes out right

And I wanna fall in love with you again
I don't have to try
Its so easy
Who needs to pretend?
But because its so funny
Lets just think about it, honey
Lets just fall in love again

Ill call you in three days
Not too soon, not too late
And Ill ask your roommate if you're home
You call me on Thursday
And well hang out all day
Then fall asleep on the phone

And oh, Ill hold your hand when we drive
And well lose track of all the time
And well tell everyone
That we ain't never felt so alive

Well fall disgustingly fast
And well stop hanging out with friends
And they'll be so offended

What Title?

You know in the Twilight Saga, especially in Eclipse, Bella always says that she is such a selfish person, hurting everyone she loves. Knowing that she is inflicting pain but selfish, because she chooses to continue that way? I so totally understand that. I'm Bella (ermm..?) and I'm a selfish brat.

I overthink things and have high expectations about my family to understand me without asking. Hah. They don't.

So on Tuesday, I went to the dentist to do stuff with my braces. The dentist put bands in between my molars (not all of them) like how they did it in the beginning before braces, to make a gap there between the molars so they can place the tooth brace (the metal box thing... ?). I was in a bad mood during my appointment because the dentist was in a bad mood because of her nurse who didn't sterilize the tools needed. And then she put the bands in without telling me beforehand and it HURT. Seriously. Then I had to change the position of one of my brackets and when the dentist tried to take the bracket off, it seriously felt like she was trying to pull my tooth out. It really, really hurt. So I wasn't in a great mood. I didn't talk all the way home, so no one knew what I had done in the dentist.

I requested fish porridge, but instead got plain porridge, with steamed fish as a separate dish. Call me picky but I seriously DISLIKE plain porridge. I wanted the fish to be cooked with the porridge. But oh well.

Then yesterday night, after I got back from volleyball and watched a bit of American Idol, I wandered into the kitchen and saw 'yong tau foo' on the table. There was also stuffed bitter gourd. I was happy. Really. I was so totally looking forward to dinner. It all looked delicious and I was tired from exercising and hungry, which always makes me want to eat more than usual. So I went upstairs to take a shower. When I came down, there was stuffed tau foo, bitter gourd, and the brown tau foo which looks like a sponge which can absorb soup. And others. =D I was so happy inside. Then I sat down, there was a bowl of fishball soup for me. It was the classic fishball soup with 'dong fen'. There was also vegetables in the soup.

Because my teeth still hurt, I said I didn't want the vegetables, without stating why. For a while now, my Wisdom Teeth have been growing on the left side. So it hurts eating on the left. Then also because it's been a day after the visit to the dentist, my teeth have started to move because of the bands. When I said I didn't want the vegetables, Kat and Kev and mum just said things like 'eat what's on your plate' etc.

That's when the overthinking came in. I've explained to my mum so many times that when my braces are tightened, noodles are easier to eat over rice, fish is easier to eat over meat, meat is easier to eat over vegetables. I was so.. disappointed I guess, that they weren't thinking and just assumed it's because I don't want to eat the vegetables. Truthfully, the kind of vegetables that were in my soup was not my favorite, but it was ok. I understand, I have to eat vegetables to stay healthy. I always do make an effort to eat some because of that reason when it's vegetables I'm ok with, but don't really like. I only don't eat them unless it's some vegetable that I really don't like, like kailan or bean sprouts or Brussels sprouts or something. But then my mum always just notices me not eating my vegetables when I don't eat them. I'm so over the stage of staying away from anything green. Seriously. How long ago was that? Spare me (phrase used in space of 'please lah').

So yea. I was.. pretty down. I didn't want to explain to them. It's not like they care or anything. So I stuffed some vegetables in my mouth and chewed slowly. It hurt. It took so long. Before I finished chewing, my mum said 'Give me the vegetables. Your teeth hurt right?'. I just continued chewing. Then my smart brother said 'but it's been two days already'. Kat said that I only did my teeth yesterday. I didn't realize that, but so what if it already had been two days? They didn't even know I put bands there, which makes it hurt longer. Stupid stupid assumptions. Then my mum started offering me porridge and stuff. She still didn't understand. Dong fen is probably the easiest thing to eat (apart from porridge). That made me even more down. Stupid thought was running through my head: Nobody understands me.

But then like always, like always, my overthinking makes a round and I start blaming my own self. My stupidity, my pessimism, things I've done when I could do it the other way, my actions, my thoughts. Everything. I started blaming myself for not making better decisions. I could have made a difference and made the dinner a happier one, for everyone. I could have just explained properly. I could have smiled and smiled more. Always think of the forked-end road, I tell Pei. You always have a choice. How come I don't realize that until it's too late?

So I just ate the dong fen and the fish balls quickly after they took the vegetables away. I ate it as fast as I could. Then I left the table and went upstairs to study the driving law but fell asleep thinking.. just thinking.

I didn't even get to eat the stuffed food which I like a lot.

Pessimism

Yes, I suck at volleyball.

Yes, I am antisocial.

Volleyball After Months

I'm so exhausted! I went to play volleyball on Monday. I was tired after that, not to mention I fell down because I couldn't catch my weight properly after lunging for a ball and scraped and bruised BOTH knees (wheeeeeeeeeeee. . .). Then on Wed, I was in the process of transforming into a stereotype female. So I missed volleyball on that day. Today, I went and now, I'm exhausted. Seriously.

It was raining today. So after a few 10 minutes in the court warming up and stuff, we headed up to the 7th floor of the CCA building when the rain started getting heavy. There, we just played ball, it was fun. But it was really tiring because I kept taking wide strides to 'chase' the ball. My butt muscles and thighs were really burning (yay?). It was fun though. Me, Angela, Pei and Jessie (woww, haven't played with JESSIE for so long!!!) had a great time (at least for me). The laughs were loud and piercing (as Pei always is). It was really like old times (mroe like old times with Pei, just like in P.E.). The only difference was the low ceiling which was a nuicance sometimes.

But then halfway, Ah Ket and Jia Xin who were playing perpendicular with us, horizontal when we were vertical (???) decided to have some fun I guess. I don't know. They were talking about the Independent School's Ball Games, the one that happens every four years which we went to last year in Perak. At the awards ceremony, there was a team made out of the 12 (I think) of the best players out of everyone, it was called the Celebrity Team. Lee Pei made it into that team. It didn't really signify anything, you just got an extra certificate. Anyway, Ah Ket started calling Pei 'celebrity' and stuff. It was annoying. I know that Pei didn't want to draw attention to herself in that way, by being acknowledged as the only one who got into the 'celebrity team' or whatever. So she just sort of tried to play it cool and ignore him. I could see that she was trying to pretend she couldn't hear him, that she wished he would just shut up. I felt like turning around and asking Jia Xin to just stop the whole thing. It really sucked. He just didn't let it go. Come on! It was really annoying me. Sheesh. Anyway, Pei's mood just sort of plummeted after that. The tiredness just settled in. I was really disappointed in Jia Xin. She knew better. Rah!!!!!

Anyway. Jessie went home quite early, though it seemed like a long time. Pei didn't want to play anymore (stupid people) and so me and Angela played on. It was really tiring. But anyway. We made it through.

At dinner (Chuan Hin! With Tessa, Kat's friend, from Melbourne and Celine, Kev's friend, from Penang. They're staying at our hosue), I got a message from Pei saying things like how she didn't feel like she was in the team anymore. She mentioned this before. She just said that I had left, Sucy left, Pitza too (sort of). She felt alone in the team. She was just so down. Part of me wanted to slap her into awareness that she could make her own difference! That she could just walk up to the new ones and just become friends with them, friends you could laugh with. But then part of me just felt sorry for her. I understand her situation perfectly. It's just like me in Aus. But I'm determined to make my own difference when I go back. I just hope I'll hold myself to what I'm saying now. But because I understand that seriously sucky feeling, I didn't yell at her (theoretically speaking, as we were texting) but just tried to support her and give her advice. She's heard that advice before, she was just tired I guess. Down. So I don't think it helped much.

But this exhaustion, my aching body, my still-in-pain knees, my sore muscles, all just makes me sort of depressed. Sigh. Plus Pei being upset sort of adds fuel to the fire. I sort of thought about how great it would be to still be playing in Tshung Tsin, how I wanted to stay and meet the new guys on the guy's team (the setter with his weirdly bass voice is so funny), get to know better the new girls on the girl's team, and just be there to support Pei and Angela too. But then I can't. I have my own life to live (well, at least I hope I'll have one when I get back and make my own history) and I can't always be there for my friends. I know that. But it doesn't mean it changes how I feel. The feeling where you sort of feel numb and you start to think negatively suckssss.

Anyway. I'm really tired. Stop thinking negative. It's seriously so hard. =(

Steph's House!

Need I say more? Yesterday night we (Pitza, Pei, Tur, Steph, Angela, Liau and I) went to Centre Point to have dinner in Japanese Dream House. I thought the food was only ok. Nothing special. But nothing bad. We had some laughs there, we were the loudest table there (what a surprise). Haha. Because the shop is just beside the toilet (RM0.20 per entry!!!! With no toilet paper provided!!!), we could see people going into and out of the toilet from where we were sitting. There was this one point where some girl went into the toilet and guess what? She was wearing the exact same t-shirt as Steph!!! It was absolutely hilarious!!! We were taking a photo at that time, we had asked the waiter to help us take it. So we were all half-laughing, half-smiling, trying to be still to take the photo (the waiter's face was getting sourer and sourer by the second). Tur ended up covering her mouth because, being the one with the hugest (?) sense of humour, she just couldn't help it.

Then after that we went down to take the sticker photos. We paid RM23 for two sets, it was on promotion or something. Unlike last time (which was a long time ago, seriously), we couldn't choose the machines we wanted to use then pay after. The guy had to 'unlock' the machines for us. So the one on promotion was this crappy machine which was quite hard to navigate. But oh well, it costed us RM3 only anyway. As long as the memory is there. It was so fun taking those pictures. We were all scrambling around this small booth (there were 7 of us!). Snap! Then we were all 'change places! Change places!' and scrambled around again. It was fun.

After that we went to Warisan and walked around just to kill time. Pitza bought a jacket from Padini. There was nothing much. Soon enough Steph's car came (by that time Pei and Liau had gone back). Pitza was by herself. So we went to Steph's house (me, Tur and Angela). Her house is so awesome! In my opinion, that is. It's still under small renovations, but it's so cool! Her bedroom is carpeted, which is so nice to me! Her bedroom ceiling is those tinted but transparent ones where you can see the sky! How awesome is that. I would love to have a cool bedroom like that. !!!!!!!!!

We took some photos then went to bed after chatting for only a few minutes. Everyone was very tired. Everyone had a long day of tuition and activities. Except for me. Steph took her sofa's seat cushion and two matresses as beds for us. But we ended up with Tur sharing Steph's single bed with her, and me and Angela sharing the sofa's seat cushion. It was a comfortable sleep for me. =D

Anyway, this morning, after washing up, I went downstairs and was welcomed by the smell of FOOD! Her mum cooked fried mee hoon and we also had Milo! It was awesome! It's been seriously SO, SO long since I have had breakfast before going to school (except in Aus). So yea, it was really fun for me. I had a really great time. Thanks mum! For letting me go! =D

It's a shame though. Because Steph still sort of feels uncomfortable with us. Not uncomfortable, more like worried when we want to sleep over at her house because she sort of thinks that her house is not nice, that there's nothing to do or eat, and things like that, you know? But I think that no matter where we are, as long as we have each other, that's more than enough. Seriously. But hopefully she'll learn that soon enough. She's the newest to our group anyway, we only met her in the middle of last year (thank goodness we did!!!!).

Anyway. An update on myself. Eye am now a walking stereotype of females on this earth. Which is a big sad when you think about it like that, but it doesn't make it less true. I straightened my hair. I just got tired of having to care for my curly (previously permed, but wouldn't have been a difference if I didn't perm it), naturally frizzy, messy, too-much-of-a-handful hair. Seriously. I'm sort of glad I did it. Now I don't have to worry THAT much about looking like an idiot after waking up. Haha. But yea, like I said, I'm a walking stereotype of females now. ROAR. Oh yea, I also cut it short. I used to have sort of waist-lengthed hair, but now it's only shoulder length. GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know. It looks so weird to me. But oh well. It's nice to have it short after such a long time. Pei said it's not long, not short, it's in the middle, which is weird. But she said it's ok. I would NEVER cut it short, like short short. NEVER! (I guess). But oh well. Now I know that I'm lying to everyone. When they see I look okay, hair plays a BIG part in that. How thick-skinned of me.

That's all I guess. My mum called Pei yesterday, called Steph when WE WERE ALL SLEEPING. Steph answered the phone and my mum was talking and Steph, being half asleep was like.. what? She heard my name and she nudged Tur awake and passed her the phone, mumbling to her that it was my mum. Tur was like.. what? And my mum started talking again and she was like 'Oh. She's asleep' and hung up after my mum said sorry. It was kind of funny. I say 'my mum was talking' because both of them couldn't understand what she was saying. Luckily I silenced my phone before going to bed if not we would all have been awakened by the annoying shrilling of my phone. 7 times, my mum called. I'm sure by the 3rd time she would have guessed that we were asleep. Oh well.

So that's all I guess. Hehehe. Sticker photos!! =D =D

Pei's House!

You guessed right! I slept in Pei's house yesterday. It was supposed to be with Pitza, but then Pitza's mum didn't let her go. So it was just me and Tur. We had dinner in Pei's aunty's house in Donggongon. It was quite nice. Simple Chinese food. We had 'wong jiu kai' (wine chicken soup?), which was an interesting first for me. After dinner, we sat down and continued watching the weird movie with Jay Chou in it, Treasure Hunt, or something. It was kind of fake, all the effects and everything. Haha.

We left after the movie finished, which was already nearing the end when we ate dinner. We began the long journey to Pei's home! =D We just got ready for bed and 'pillow talked' for a while then slept. Everyone was tired. Pei kept saying 'Ok, good night!' but we still kept talking. Gosh, we woke up at 5.30am! Woaahhhh!!! Now I'm seriously sleepy! But it's nice here, sitting in the Stationery Shop.

Pei's mum, her kakak, and the other workers were sitting down eating Pei's dad's shop's noodles. It's just so Malaysian, just sitting there, chatting in Haka or Malay, eating Economy Noodles and drinking Milo or something. I don't know why, but we (me, Steph and Tur) have always had a thing for the mee hoon from Pei's dad's shop. It's not particularly nice or anything, I guess we just don't go out to eat economy noodles anymore, or maybe it's just something nice to eat which isn't some sort of snack (as in koropok or confectioneries, because we don't usually eat the mee hoon as a meal. So maybe it counts as a snack?). Every morning Pei's mum brings a few packets to the shop for breakfast (like what I just witnessed) and sometimes (usually) there's a packet or two left over. We always eat those packets together, sometimes with a fried egg or a sausage or an eggplant on top, or just plain. We usually prefer mee hoon, though sometimes we still eat mian. This morning, Pei packed a packet for me and Tur, with mee hoon and kueh tiao mixed together, with an egg, a fish cake and an eggplant. I can't wait until first recess when they come here to eat. =D Yay. We're always so excited (I guess except for Pei) when there's a packet of mee hoon in the shop. Hehe. Wrapped in plastic and then newspaper. How stereotyped! =D

I brought a book today. A Dean Koontz book. I was in a dilemma yesterday before I left to Lintas to meet them in their tuition centre. I couldn't decide which book to bring. I was sort of reading Eclipse again. Kat took it out from THE book shelf and put it on the TV table. I saw it and just picked it up and started reading it. Though I'm in the middle of a sci-fi (I think) book, Tbe Glitch In Sleep. It's quite interesting I guess, but not what I was hoping for when I read the back of the book. I considered bringing Carrie by Stephen King. But I guess I was sort of disappointed by his book, Cell, so I put the book back down. In the end I just took the thinnest of the Dean Koontz book I have, Tick Tock. Scary cover. But I don't know whether I'll continue the book or just finish the ones I've already started. I'm a bit sleepy to read though. Sigh.

I'm helping Pei's mum upload photos on her Facebook. Hahaha. I don't mind, it's the least I can do for her hospitality, letting me sit here in her shop. =D

It's so funny. We keep following Baby Brent's 'Uh oh!' from Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs. The movie is good. =D Ok. I'm going to go off.. and try not to sleep. Gah. Probably going to the dentist today, then lunch with Gee, then volley? Not sure yet. I can't manage!