At The Very Edge!!!

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited to tell you all this story that spans through 3 days and 2 nights. Because it was AWESOME!!!!! 


I WENT TO KUDAT! 


Haha. More specifically, I went to The Tip Of Borneo. Apparently it's a very famous attraction. But I've been wanting to go for quite some time already. It's just the thought of me looking at the sea, not just ANY sea, but the sea that meets the edge of SABAH. I was so desperate to go. 


When holidays arrived in November, I kept telling everyone to bring me to Kudat. I told Jason, I told Steph, I told Moses. I kept asking them to bring me there cuz there was no way I would drive there. Ok. Backstory (HIMYM REFERENCE!): I met Moses, Eugene and Joseph some time ago at Jessie's house when all of us were having dinner there. But I only got to really know them these past few weeks. It all started with the time with Jessie after they played badminton (check previous post!). :D Then after that, Moses kept asking me for yam cha, but I was always busy/lazy. Then there was once after Jessie flew to KL for her vacation with her family that I went yam cha with them at 11+ cuz I just got home or something. It was then that I asked them to bring me to Kudat again. I think I asked Moses to bring me there before via Whatsapp. So I kept telling them that I was serious. Then subsequent yam cha's included them saying that they wanted to sleepover there in Kudat, make it an overnight trip. I was a lil squeamish about that because I knew that my parents letting me go to Kudat with friends is already a long shot, due to the fact that we had to drive there and stuff. But staying over in Kudat would make my chances slimmer because my mum doesn't even know who they are. So then they got serious, and they confirmed the trip the day before, and didn't even give me details and stuff so I didn't dare tell my mum. The day before we left, we went yam cha with Jessie and they told me it was 100% on and when I got back, I had to kinda beg my mum to let me go, cuz she actually said no. It took a longggg time and even some tears and pleading. The thought of me not being able to go was horrifying because: I was the reason for the trip, Eugene took a BUS down from Keningau for the trip, I REALLY WANTED TO GO. But she wasn't so keen at the thought of someone young driving me so far. And I actually said that Jessie was going, cuz well, I would've been the only girl and I don't think she would've allowed. She mightttttt have, if she knew who they were. She kept telling me off for getting permission so last minute and everything. 


I actually told her what I knew to be true for a very long time. I said (haha ugh) 'you know, I always tell you where I go, I never lie. (I KNOW. IRONIC!!! But still kinda true) How easily would it be for me to just tell you I'm sleeping over at a friend's house and go off to Kudat. So many people I know always lie to their parents about where they're going. But I never do that.' etc etc something like that. It is really true. They've never been too strict about me going out with friends, and I truly appreciate that, that's why I'm always honest about where I'm going and things like that. I know, so ironic. A small lie is still a lie. And gosh, after I got permission, I was sooooooo paranoid oh. Lying in my bed, I was soooo worried. I kept thinking about the possibilities, of me getting into a car accident and like in the movies, they show the distraught family saying 'I shouldn't have let her go!' kinda thing. And I kept praying and praying and praying, and I confessed that I lied and broke commandment number 4 and asked for forgiveness and prayed for safety etc. I spent ages just praying and hoping nothing will go wrong. 


The next day, 28/12/11, woke up early for Kristy's bday surprise. Got Steph to pick me up and we went to her house and did the surprise. It was really successful. After all the unsuccessful ones, it was great. Kiki's surprise was -.- cuz her brother left his phone downstairs, so Kiki was the one who opened the gate for us. -_____- Then Steph's one was funny cuz we were late. And her dad said she was upstairs, so all of us were making our way to the downstairs bathroom and wait for her there, then her mum said she was in there getting her uniform, and after a dumbfounded pause, we all scrambled and stumbled and ran to the stairway. But we were too late, and Steph opened the door to see all of us there. Haha. So Kristy's one was great. :D After that, we went to have breakfast and the guys picked me up from wherever I was. Haha. Eugene told me they were actually just going to Karambrunei. And the thing is, I NEvER KNOW WHETHER THE THINGS THEY ARE SAYING ARE TRUE OR NOT!!!! So I just kinda nodded. Then we passed Karambrunei and I knew we were going to Kudat. I was so excited!!!!!!!! ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!! 


I love road trips! We stopped at the first row of road-side stalls and bought corn. It was so funny, cuz that's when we started taking photos. And it's just so weird, cuz normally the guys I hang out with never wanna take photos, but they were always so eager. (Well, Moses only actually). They kept asking me to take photos of them, of the food etc. etc. -.- FUN! Ok.. thennnnn we drive and drive and go for toilet stops and the back wheel got stuck in mud. (What's that called? When you accelerate but the wheel just spins in the mud without going forward?) And finallyyyyy we ARRIVE at KUDAT! We actually passed the turning for The Tip of Borneo on the way to Kudat. We were going to go there, but decided to check into the hotel first. (Tip Of Borneo is like 30 mins from the town of Kudat). So in the end we checked into the Upperdeck Hotel. RM100 per night for two queen beds!!! :OOOOO WITHOUT TAX!!!! I was pretty mind blown. And the bottles of water they provided were complimentary. So it was really good. Clean (sheets smelled like laundry soap), hot water, reasonable bathroom. Really good. Just the bathroom slippers they gave were super slippery when the floor is wet. Haha. Eugene almost fell on his face once. 


Oh ya. I had TARAP for the first time there in that hotel!! We bought it together with the corn. It was... interestingggg. But I didn't reallllyy like it. It was not that bad I guess, just the texture was a lil weird. But oh yea!!! FIRST TIME!!! :D :D Then after that, we went to grab some food at this Chinese shop recommended by the Chinese receptionist downstairs. Pretty cool you know. I've neverrrr met anyone who was able to converse so naturally with strangers. I'm talking about Moses. He chatted to the receptionist, and the Chinese aunty who was managing the shop we went to, ppl who helped us take photos etc. COOLIO!! Haha. So we had fish cake soup at the shop. 'Chun juan', it's called. YUMMY!! :D THEN we went down to the Tip of Borneo!!! It was surprisingly a longgg drive there, and the road was in pretty bad shape. And finally when we got on the second last stretch of straight road, when you can finally see the blue of the sea, I wound down my window and wanted to shout out my excitement. I. WAS. SO. EXCITED. The guys kept saying that they were helping me fulfill my dream, and in a sense, I guess standing at the TIP OF BORNEO was really one of my small small dreams. So the last last stretch of road was by the sea. It was soooo pretty! The sea was super calm yo!!!! Then we parked the car and WALKED WALKED WALKED down hill then up hill to THE. TIP. OF. BORNEO!!!!!!! WOWOWOWOWOWWWW!!! 


WOW. 


We reached the famous structure of the globe, and took photos. Then walked down the steps to the border. Just a sign that says 'do not go past this border'. It was so pretty. I was at the tip of Borneo!!! It was pretty surreal, to be honest!!! WHEEEE! Took awesome photos! Standing on the railings and stuff, the four of us. Hahaha. The sea is justtttt soooo beautiful!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 Love it to the max. LOVE SABAH! I just kept picturing the map of Sabah, and imagining a dot that represents me, righttttt at the edge of Sabah. On one of the dog ears. Haha. Then we headed back to the hotel. It was pretty overcast so we didn't think we would've gotten a good sunset. But on the way back, the sky started clearing up and it looked like the sunset would be good. But we were already halfway, so we just headed back to the hotel, with the sun setting behind us. Haha. 


We headed back to the hotel and each of us took turns to shower. Then the receptionist pointed us to a small seafood restaurant for dinner. It was pretty interesting. The shops were tiny! And we were going to this one that had more people, but we didn't really wanna wait for a table, so we went to the next shop, Kudat Seafood Restaurant or something. It only had like 7 tables or so. It was really small. But it was SO GOOD and SO CHEAP. The butter prawns were sooooooo yummmyyyy. Had battered sotong which was good too, and vegetables and stuff. I had another plate of rice. :O I WAS REALLY HUNGRY OK! They were all saying that I ate so much. -.- Moses was really getting along with the shopkeeper. And the bill was RM58!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO. CHEAP! Like jaw-droppingly cheap man!!! Who pays that little for a seafood meal???? Oh ya, when we were sitting at the restaurant waiting for our food, I needed to pee. I checked out the bathroom but I didn't wanna go cuz it was disgusting. YUCK. So I sat there, holding my pee. And when I couldn't hold it any longer, Joseph actually sent me back to the hotel to pee. HAHAHA. Granted, the hotel was prob like 2 mins away, but still. THEY'RE SO KIND TO ME SOMETIMES!!! Then after that we drove around town, stopped to yum cha and just sat there and chatted. Kinda scary cuz everyone kept looking at us. At me I guess. Cuz I dunno. SO WEIRD. I was so uncomfortable. So worried that they were like gonna smash our car cuz we parked right in front of the shop. 


Then we drove around town. Most shops were closed. And we saw AH GUAS!!!!!!!!!! :O :O I was SOO excited you know!!!! HAHAHA. I was so surprised cuz I didn't think such a small town would have any ah guas. And for some weird reason I felt that I HAD to wear a cap to cover my face to protect myself or something when we drive past them. It was so cool oh!!!! Hahaha. And then we were just driving and driving in the dark street, and the night air was cool. And I was sitting in the passenger seat at that time with Moses driving, and I stuck my hand out the window to feel the cool air. And I asked everyone to stick their hands out too!!!!! Only Eugene didn't do it. Spoiler!!! But so cool!!! Driving down the street with a hand sticking out from each window!! YEA!!! Then we went to another different shop for yum cha. Sat there and drank and chatted. Haha. Then we went back to the hotel and chatted and stuff. Found out more about each other la. Like Moses and I are both the youngest, Eugene is the middle child. And like my list for the 'ideal guy' or whatever. So funny. Then slept after saying GOODNIGHT. 


Then next day!!! Haha we actually said we'll go see the sunrise. WHAT A FAIL MAN. Haha. :D :D :D We woke up and we went for breakfast!! We went to the same chinese shop. But sadly they didn't have any food! As in no MEATBALLS. But it was ok. Apparently during the tsunami in 2004, (I THINK that was when it was) you could see sea tornados from the shore. Kinda creepy. A tornado so close, in MALAYSIA. But there were photos of the tornado on the wall of the shop. And Moses was chatting away with the shop keeper. How nice. Thennn we went back to the hotel. OMGOSH. They were talking about staying another night. I. WAS. SO. TERRIFIED. TO. ASK. MY. MUM. And I didn't want to be the only one that couldn't, then all of them would have to go home cuz of me. You know? Haha. But in the end I plucked up my courage to ask my mum after their relentless prodding. But not enough courage to do it over the phone, I did it on Whatsapp. Saying that's what they wanted, and all of them had permission. And I didn't drive there. We wanna see the sunrise etc etc. Haha. And it was A YES!!!!! Well, more like a 'do what you think is right' kind of thing. I felt so bad though. Guilty. T-T But well, it was kind of worth it. 


So we packed up and checked out. We were going to stay at the chalets at the Tip of Borneo. They wanted to have a bbq too!!! So we went to a supermarket, tried to find chicken wings, coal, and a wire mesh for the bbq. But couldn't find any. Kept asking around, and in the end found this tinyyyy shop that sold frozen chicken wings. Bought a packet of sausages too yummyyyy. And they were able to find a wire mesh at this other hardware shop too. Then we headed down to Tip of Borneo!!!!! We drove up and down, deciding which chalet to go with (there were a few different ones). WE FINALLYYYY decided on one.. I think it was RM160 a night. Two single beds. And Moses kept SAYING I'll share with Joseph. AND I HONESTLY CAN'T TELL WHEN HE'S KIDDING! -.- Mo and Eu took the chicken wings out and cleaned them. So cool oh.. never saw how it was done before. They 'massaged' the meat, and squeezed the dried/dead blood out from the vein, plucked chicken hair out. YUCK. I just stood there, watching, moral support yo! Then the guys wanted to swim in the sea. I didn't, cuz I only brought clothes for ONE NIGHT. (Means no underwear yo haha). So we were at the beach, and I dropped Eu's phone onto the sand................. I KEPT LAUGHING AND APOLOGISING. Felt so bad but please, it was hilarious! Hahaha. And then they went into the sea and I just sat at the beach, but the sandflies were VICIOUS. Seriously. They ATTACKED me. So I packed up and went to the room, wanted to shower. A while later, saw Moses asking me to go to the beach. Didn't get to shower, then I went down. And they were burying Joseph in the sand. Hahaha. IT WAS FUNNY. Took photos photos photos!!!! YAY! 


Then all of us showered. And I found out that Leong was in KUDAT!!!!!! With all the volleyball guys, they had a competition in town. Hahahaha. WHAT A SMALL WORLD! WHAT A COINCIDENCE! Seriously?!?! I found out cuz I was trying to get a charger for Moses. Eu knows Ah Siaw (the coach) quite well, so he was texting him and they agreed to meet for dinner. Sooo, we went down to the Tip of Borneo, to watch the sunset!!!!!!!!!! When we went, this tour group from China or Taiwan was there too and the tour guide was speaking in Chinese, saying that it wasn't allowed but he was gonna bring them down to the rocks where the sea met the rocks!!!!!!! I WAS ASTOUNDED! I wanted to go too!!!!!!!!!!!! I looked at Moses and Eugene and was like.. I WANNA GO! Pleaseeeeeeee! At first they said it wasn't a good idea and such. I was pleading with them. In the end Moses said he'll bring me down too, following the tour group. SUPER. DUPER. EXCITED! In the end Eu and Joseph followed suite. OMGYSOHHHHHH. It was EPIC! I can't describe the feeling I had. I was soooo euphoric, sooooooo EXUBERANT. It was truly surreal and Amaaaazing. I was on the rocks, a lil slippery in places where moss grew. I stood at the edge of the sea, at the edge of the left donkey ear of Sabah, at the Tip of BORNEO! I saw the rock pool (the hole thing filled with sea water with a rock inside it?) with my own eyes, after seeing it on brochures and on the internet forever. I stood on a rock, sun setting behind me, with my hands in the air! Photos! It was truly awesome! And the sun set. It was spectacular! Honestly.. just so so beautiful! THIS WORLD IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PLACE YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! The tide was coming in, so the tour guide was ushering everyone to climb back up, that it was no joke, very dangerous and stuff. We were gonna climb up, then I remembered that I said that I wanted to shout 'I'M STANDING AT THE EDGE OF BORNEO' while I was AT the Tip of Borneo. I was so flustered! Cuz the tour guide kept asking all of us to climb up, and I wanted to shout, but felt embarrassed. And in the end I just shouted, '我正在站在沙巴的最角头!!!!!!!!!' really loudly. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOO OUTRAGEOUS! SO SILLY! SO AWESOME! SO LIVING-LIFE-TO-THE-MAXIMUM man!!!!!!! It was sooooooooo.... once in a lifetime thing. Then we climbed back up. Watched the remaining of the sunset at the border. And it was beautiful. I could see the sun sinking below the horizon, honestly. And as the sun was disappearing, I shouted 'BYE BYEEEEEEEEE' to the setting, orange, blazing, breath-takingly beautiful sun of 29/12/11. (Kinda embarrassing, cuz there were other people there too haha). 


We then drove back into town to meet them. Found Leong. Told him that I was staying with three other guys and he was so funny! His reaction was: 你跟他们睡? with his eyebrows shot up and his lips and teeth not moving, cuz he didn't want them to see what he was saying (they gave us privacy, went outside so we could talk, but he was facing them). It was hilarious!!! And he was like 'take care of yourself!!!!!!!!!'. Andddddd I found out that Samsung and Bberry chargers were actually the same. ......... HAHAHA. Means Mo could've used my charger all this while. OPPS. We were hungry so we went ahead to dinner. AT THE SAME PLACE. SAME BUTTER PRAWNS. (Honestly, it set a new standard for butter prawns man. So going back to eat more!) So we went to town for nothing. Didn't really need the charger, and didn't eat with Ah Siaw. Haha. Then we went back to the chalet. THEN. We tried to bbq. What a fail mannn. Cuz it was pitch black on the beach, so we borrowed torch lights and everything. And Mo and Eu bent the wire mesh so it became like a table kinda thing. But we had no coal, so we were gonna use like firewood or something? Was that realistic? But anyway. It started raining, so we just gave up and trod back to the room. Fail attempt. Haha. Next door to our room were these Brunei guys and girl. And they were like.. yea. Staring at us. Hahaha. But they're so nice though!!! Friendly, and one of the guys was cute too. :P Then night time, I actually fell asleep first. But woke up from the sound of Mo's laughing or somethingggg. Then we started chatting. Joseph went out all of a sudden in the middle of us talking. And he didn't come back for ages. Kinda weirrrrd. But the three of us continued chatting. OMG epic! Moses actually helped me flick my blanket. Cuz I was somehow reminded of super distant memories where my sis used to do that all the time for me. And there'll be this awesome layer of air that cools your legs, making the blanket feel a thousand times softer. And I was like DO IT! DO ITTTT! And he actually did!!!!!! HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA. EPICNESS! I was so surprised he actuallyyyy did it. But he didn't do it right. He flicked it so hard it touched the ceiling! -.------ Hahaha. But he got it right. It was GREAT. HILARIOUS. Haha. Then the next day. We went up to the Tip of Borneo for the last time!!! Tried to take mental pictures with my mind.. tried to store the beautiful scenery in my memory where I'll neverrr forget it. Was so sad we had to leave!!!!! Then we went back to Kudat to fill petrol. And I said bye bye to the town as we were leaving it. 


We went to the the bee farm next. Funny thing, there were no bees. Haha. I was hoping to get a taste of some PROPOLIS. If that's what you even call it. Honeycomb. Something like that. The honeycombs from the bees making the honey? It's sooooo yummy! I love honey! But there was literally nothing there. So we left. Then it was a long drive home. Bought corn again and such. 


Sigh sigh sigh HAPPY, CONTENTED, SIGH FACE! It was amazing. Amazing amazing amazing. Can't believe I actually got to go to the Tip of Borneo. And what a great first time as well!!!!!!! So much fun!!! :D :D :D :D 


Haha, I guess we should always look at all these small desires as dreams. Label them as dreams. Because then, fulfilling these small tiny dreams will be AMAZING. It just accentuates the fact that life is made up of small steps. And we should keep going forward step by tiny step. So in a sense, we should dominate life by checking dream by tiny dream off our list. :) Living life, like a BOSS! (Or like a sir, if you're British) Hahahahaha. 9gag much? :D Life is awesome! THANK YOU MUM AND DAD FOR LETTING ME GO! 

Regret?

I wish that I.. got an A for Chemistry. I wish that it was enough to meet the requirements of the Unis I applied to. I wish that I could make my parents proud. I wish that I had studied harder. Wistful wishes. Useless wishes. Useless regret.   

Premature Arrival.

No expectations, no heart break. 


That's what Denise said. But in my opinion, it's human nature to always hope even when you tell yourself not to. Everyone always has an expectation, some are just tucked into the super dark corners of our hearts. 


Well, tonight I went to City Mall with Tur, Micah, Dudu and Wan Rong. We went to The Cross to check out the Christmas Tube. It was good, more about that next time. Then we went to Yu Hing to have dinner. Wan Rong suddenly said that they were saying on Facebook that you could check your results already. We didn't think it was true, then suddenly I received a text from Tian that said we really could get our results online. No one at the table cared, they just continued on chatting, and I did try logging in with my UEC candidate number and IC, but I couldn't get in. I thought it was probably cuz I was using my phone and it couldn't process all the chinese words or something. So I left it. 


We then walked around City Mall, killing time, then after that we went to Lintas Yen Ai to meet Steph. Tur, Dudu and I were the first ones to arrive. When we got a table, I went to the toilet, and when I got back, Dudu and Tur had already checked their results. I just stood there, seriously stunned. My heart was in my throat, I just stood there with my mouth open. Then I pulled a chair and sat down and asked how their results were. Tur and Dudu failed Chem. They. Failed. Chem. It was such a shocking reality, that people sitting right in front of me actually failed something. Let me just tell you that in UEC, we have A1, A2, B3, B4, B5, B6, C7, C8 then F9 which is a fail. To be honest, I didn't expect Tur to fail, but the fact that she did scared me. Made me think I got a low B. Then I asked Dudu to help me check mine using his iPhone 4S (NEW PHONE!!! My Blackberry was out of batt). I thought my candidate number was 068 or 086. But they both weren't right!!!! Then Micah, Wan Rong and Steph arrived and all of a sudden everyone was in a frenzy. Micah, WanRong and I were frantically calling people, trying to find out the candidate numbers of those who sat near us, hoping we could get ours. The three of us were talking on the phone and getting phone numbers and stuff. I kept calling Kenneth, who sat two seats in front of me, but he didn't pick up!!!!!!!! Wan Rong got her results, not that bad, no fails. Her Chem was a B5 or B6, which comforted me because I gave her half of my objective answers (via SMS). Dudu helped me get a hold of Ker's number. He sat in front of me. And I called him, and he didn't know his number!!!!!! Then Micah got his and he did quite well. He didn't get any Cs I think. I was the only one left who didn't get mine!!!! Steph didn't wanna look at her. But in the end she did. She didn't fail anything, which was really good. She also got my chem answers, and she got a B too, so I was comforted. She got C8 for Physics. Scary! Then I called Leonnie, who sat beside me. She didn't have hers either!!! I was going crazy!!! We were all so loud and frantic. The waiter who was an ex-UEC student, was kinda smiling and people were noticing us cuz we were all kinda talking at the same time. WanRong sat two seats to my left, and her number was 050. So I counted and Dudu tried numbers around 062, but they were all wrong!!! Then suddenly she said that I'm supposed to be a smaller number than her. Dudu tried 042, THEN I REMEMBERED that mine was 038!!!!!! HOW CAN I FORGET A NUMBER LIKE THAT? 38!!! SUPER EASY!!! The page loaded, and Dudu said 'I got it'. 


Breath stuck in throat. I looked at it and here it is.

序号/No	科目名称/Name of Subjects	成绩/Result
01	华文 Chinese Language	---
02	马来西亚文 Bahasa Malaysia	B4
03	英文 English Language	A1
04	数学 Mathematics	---
05	高级数学 Advanced Mathematics	---
06	高级数学(Ⅰ) Advanced Mathematics(Ⅰ)	A1
07	高级数学(Ⅱ) Advanced Mathematics(Ⅱ)	A2
08	历史 History	---
09	地理 Geography	---
10	生物 Biology	B4
11	化学 Chemistry	B3
12	物理 Physics	B3

At first glance, it's not so bad right? That's what I thought. My immediate reaction was: RELIEF, not so bad; I GOT AN A FOR MATHS 2?? UNEXPECTED; dreams-for-Monash-crushed-though-they-were-kinda-crushed-before-I-got-the-results. 


By that time, the hype had kinda died down already. We were all calling up friends and stuff and telling and asking etc etc. Then Steph asked Feiven and after navigating her to the website and giving her instructions, she got her results and OH. MY. GOSH. Jaw drop. Shock. Disbelief. SHAME. That's what I felt. She got 5As. FIVE As. FIVE. Chi, BM, Eng, Bio and Maths 1. (For those of you who don't know, Feiven is my competitor in academic results. By my own standards la.. just a target that I have to keep myself motivated). Slowly, I could feel my heart sinking lower and lower. I got three, and she got five! Then I really started thinking about my chances to get As for Bio and Chem. But everyone was kinda over talking about results, so I just kept quiet about it and then I got home. I opened up my results again and really looked at it. Bio- B4, Chem- B3, Phy- B3. Kinda messed up. 


Bio was supposed to be the easiest out of the three for me. I would've expected to get better results for it than Phy!! But granted, I didn't revise before the exam. Seriously. Since it was the last paper, and those who had dropped Bio were already celebrating, I didn't revise. I watched TV. I WATCHED TV. The Bio exam, I knew that I had studied the stuff before, I just didn't remember cuz I didn't revise. So, I accept the B4, but doesn't mean I'm not disgruntled by it. Phy, B3?! Phy was my WORST subject. I gave up all the stuff on Electric and Magnet! I kinda hated the subject, but I got a BEE THREE?! And Chem. Oh GOSH. When Chin Chui Kim (our Chem teacher) was handing down our UEC mock papers, she said to me that she was expecting an A for me. She had high hopes because I did well on the mock. I kinda cheated on objective, and I felt so undeserving (still do), but seriously, I'm so ASHAMED. I'm such a let down. I seriously don't know how I can face her. She was like my favourite teacher. 


So yea. There it is. Now I'm totally clueless about where I'm headed next year, since Monash U and Melb U both require at least A2 for all maths and science subjects (got their conditional offers). Ideas and ideas and options and options are swimming and swimming in my head, round and round. I have no idea. 


But, the facts are: 


1. When we succeed in the future (success coming with hard work, of course (maybe like TRUCK-TRUCK-TRUCK-LOADS of it)), UEC results will just be another paper. I appreciate all the times us Zhongers spent in the library, studying, and moving around to get help from the smart students; I appreciate the STRESS and the STRESS and the STRESS I felt, to the point where I always imagined myself to be super exhilarated by the end of UEC that I pictured myself falling off a cliff; I appreciate the feeling that I've become smarter cuz I learned lots of weird and useless but kinda-fun-in-a-nerdy-way this year. 


2. After UEC, I said that I will miss Maths. I do. Even more so cuz I ACED it. BAM! Haha. Seriously. It was the craziest, most mind-boggling, frustrating, out-of-this-world, amazing, CRAZIEST thing I've ever learnt in my life; with the weirdest and randomest methods of solving problems; with the one A4 page working that looks like the work of geniuses when glanced at. 


3. God has a plan. Everything happens for a reason, and God has a plan. We might not be able to see it, but we gotta be patient and pray! I have no doubt that God has a plan after what happened with Tur last time. (I even just talked to her on the phone a while ago, just talking about results and what ppl are saying on Facebook,and how we're gonna tell our parents and such. WOAH! WHO KNEW?) Maybe God wants to teach me a lesson, or He doesn't want me to go to Monash or Melbourne U, or He's gonna bring me to a different uni, maybe a different country, maybe even a different course, or He wants me to meet with certain ppl who'll play a part in my life? You never know. No matter where I end up, what I end up studying, I'm sure I'll be there following God's plan. Just gotta pray hard! :D

DOOM!

doom  (dm)

n.

1. Inevitable destruction or ruin.

2. Fate, especially a tragic or ruinous one.

3. A decision or judgment, especially an official condemnation to a severe penalty.

TWO DAYS TO DOOMS DAY! The day I get my DREADED UEC RESULTS. Like my Methods exam results last year, I'm sure my results this year will be similar. I won't do incredibly badly, but I won't do well enough. I won't reach everyone's high expectations. Yesterday night before bed, I was lying in my bed, lights off, eyes closed, and SUDDENLY I imagined myself getting my results and only getting two As, one for English, one for Ad. Maths 1. MY EYES IMMEDIATELY FLEW OPEN and I was so so so so super worried and distressed. I whatsapped ppl and only Jason replied. It was after midnight. And I just kept ranting on and on about results and stuff. I'm worried. I'm worried. I HOPE I WON'T CRY WHEN I GET MY RESULTS. The worst is, 'I won't do well enough' means I won't be able to get into the course of the universities I applied to. That means I'll have no where to go, that means I'll be LOST. 


PLEASE, do not say that I'll do fine, that I'll be able to reach the requirements bla bla bla. Cuz highly likely I won't be able to do that. I just pray that... I don't know. That where I my results that me will be where God wants me to study. That it'll be the right place for me, it'll give me life satisfaction, it'll give me a good future job. etc. etc. etc. etc. 


TWO DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TEA.

BECAUSE OF THE TEA FROM STARFLY LAST NIGHT, (well, I'm not entirely sure if that was the cause, but oh well) I HAD THE MOST HORRIBLE DREAM ABOUT MY FAMILY AND IT BREAKING APART AND SEPARATION AND IT ALL FELT SO REAL. IT FELT SO SO SO REAL. I was crying when I woke up and when I woke up, I immediately started sobbing badly. I have dreams that make me cry, but they would involve death of something else, Something that couldn't be helped. And they were always just super sad tears falling from my eyes. But this was something that happened because of negative and bitter reasons (I'm talking about the dream). I was sooo disturbed. I immediately whatsapped Kat and told her about it and she reassured me it wasn't real. So I went back to sleep, and woke up with super swollen eyes. Now. I have super swollen eyes. And now I shall go to sleep. 


Gosh, I hate crying. I hate dreams. I pray that what I dreamed will never happen in real life. Seriously, God have mercy!

God Had A Special Purpose!

On Saturday, the day before yesterday, I had made plans to go watch an open volleyball competition at Wisma MUIS. The school team's boys had joined and I wanted to watch Leong cuz he actually got to play. 


So on that fated day, I was supposed to wake up at 7am, and Fiona will come over at 7.30am. We would go grab breakfast and go watch the match which ould be at 9am. The night before, just before bed, Denise whatsapped 'Sweet dreams' to me and I replied something along the lines of  'My dreams are never sweet. Either I dream, or I don't.' kinda thing. Haha. And BAM. That night, I kept dreaming for some reason!!! I dreamt that I was so stressed about my further education and I kept calling my agent (IDP) and talking to them about my options and stuff. SO STRESSFUL. I didn't get a lot of rest, and I kept waking up. I was kinda awake when my alarm rang at 7, but I must've turned it off and not to snooze, cuz the next time I woke up, I knew I was late. I woke at 9am man!!!! I checked my phone and sure enough, I had a few missed calls and a load of whatsapps from Fiona. I called her and she had left. She didn't wanna ring the doorbell or horn for my kakak to open the gate. I don't know why! GOSHHH. I was soo upset!! We were supposed to go shopping after the match. PLANS RUINED! I ended up going alone to watch the match, but it wasn't so bad cuz Pei was there. I was telling Fiona how upset I was and how sorry I was, and she said that it doesn't matter, cuz God has a special purpose. I just looked at that IM and was like MEH. SO SAD. 


There was another match at 6pm. Jason was supposed to go with me. But he ditched me last minute. And FOR SOME REASON, maybe because of what happened on the 10th, I asked Tur and she agreed to come with me. OOOOOOO! What a turn of events! I was kinda excited la, cuz we hadn't hung out in a while, just the two of us. So we watched the match and talked a lot. She told Pei and I about her trip to China and stuff. And I said that my kakak cooked me maggie for lunch, and that my kakak's maggie kinda sucks. Not yummy at all. Tur then said her maggie is the best. So I asked her what time she would be done with church the next day, and she said around 1pm. Then I said that I'll go over to her house and she can cook maggie for me. She was like okie!! She had to leave around 8pm to pick her mum up from the airport. 


So on a sidenote, I picked up Jason after their match, and ate dinner at Tanjung Aru (I WAS SOOOO HUNGRYYYYY!!!). And then we went back to watch SCVC's match. The matched were alright. The school team lost all of their matches, which was expected. SCVC only lost one. But I think they all played really well. They were all quite good matches to watch. Leong has lots of potential!!!! His spikes can score man!!! I think he just needs to work on his reaction in normal digging and stuff. Bla bla. MY HOTTIE (remember him?????? EX hottie btw) did very well compared to the last time I saw him play (QGDZ). But apparently he plays much better during training or something. 


SO ANYWAY. The next day, I had a craving for FRIES. I wanted to eat nice FRIES. And for some reason I thought of SUTERA HARBOUR FRIES. Haha. So I asked Tur whether she wanted to have some fries with me and she was ok with it. So I had lunch with Leong and we went to pick Tur up at around 2.30pm. It was super funny cuz I usually recognize the road Tur's house is on with a sign that says Lintas Court, BUT THE SIGN WASN'T THERE. I had a gut feeling that the turning had come up (there's about 4 or 5 turnings from the main road, one of which was the one for Tur's house), BUT THERE WAS NO SIGN! So we missed it and had to make a huge round back. And when I got the turning right, righttt at the end of the road, the LINTAS COURT SIGN WAS RIGHT THERE. Someone had moved it there for some reason. -__________- I was shouting my jovial frustration at the yellow sign, and Leong just stared at me. PFFT. ANYWHO, we got to Sutera, and Leong went swimming, and Tur and I had fries!!!! Leong's mum and sis came after that, so I didn't need to wait for him to send him back home. So Tur and I had fries, chicken wing, and a banana boat after!!! Then we walked around the harbour for a lil while, sun was shining really brightly, then we left. I asked her if she was eating at home, and she was, and so I invited myself over for dinner cuz dad wasn't gonna have dinner with me. 


After really yummy and simple dinner at her house, we watched What's Your Number on her laptop. Kinda ok. Hot guy. Haha. Then she showed me photos from her China trip. After that, we were supposed to go Yen Ai but it was closed, so we went to Star Fly at Damai. Drank milk tea, ate stuff and chatted. We caught up with one another, talked about crushes and talked about friends and just talked and talked till 11pm. 


It felt good. It felt great. It was great. 


I'm sorry if this post is a lil draggy. Not feeling too well now and I just wanna sleep. But anywho, if I hadn't woken up late on that fateful Saturday, I wouldn't have done all this hanging out with Tur. We wouldn't have gone back to the way it used to be. Last time, it only worked with her when it was the four of us. But now, it can work if it's just us two. :D 


They say that you can only appreciate the presence of something if you know what you feel like in its absence. So true. ;D

It was a good weird!

On the 10th, my class had a gathering to distribute our class tshirts and also for sharing. Before I get to the main point, I just have to say that I LOVE our class tshirt though it's nothing spectacular. It just represents my class very well: very colourful and loud, all different components coming together very well. Like NASI LEMAK (referring to the Namewee movie, Nasi Lemak 2.0). Haha. So true. Also, sharing was ok. Not monumental like our farewell for Keryn, JC and Elsa. But ok la. And pfft of COURSE I didn't say all I wanted to say. Go figure.


Anyway, my main point of this post is Tur. We kinda didn't really stay in touch. I hadn't seen her in a long time. And just throughtout he whole yar, we didn't really talk much. Only for the last few months. So totally didn't expect her to keep looking for me to chat to me about stuff that happened during the holidays. She told me about her trip to Taiwan and stuff ike that. Itwas really unexpected. It just kinda left me befuddled. It was kinda weird, but it was probably a great weird. Haha. I was pleasantlyyyy surprised yo! :D

JESSIE'S HOUSE.

Haha. These few days have been busy yet great. Nothing amazing, but it's been good. I've been going out a lot with Jessie, and naturally that includes Jason as well. Hahaha. They come as a package deal yoz! 


Ok. Jessie just finished her SPM today, congrats to her! While she was still having it, before I'd officially graduated, I've been to her house a few times at night. I was supposed to be the 'babysitter' or 'grandma' as I call it, to just make sure she studies or something. In my mind, I was supposed to just chill and do stuff on my laptop or read a book or something and not bother her at all, but that was kinda a fail. I guess it was cuz there was lotsa stuff going on with her Sports Day preparation as she's the CAPTAIN OF GREEN HOUSE 2012 (GO MARTIANS!) (their mascot is Marvin the Martian haha), and we kept talking about sports day. SORRY. But anyhow, those nights were fun. It included the night where I left her house on a Friday night, 11pm, and there was a police check, and it WAS THE ONLY TIME I didn't bring my license out. Awesumz. I left it in Steph's bag and thank goodness her house wasn't so far from Jessie's house. Before I left home for Jessie's, I went to find my wallet but it wasn't there. I was panicking cuz I thought I might have lost it in SGCC which was where Steph, Tian and I went to use the toilet before that day. It was either that or I had left it in her bag. Police checks aren't that common so I just left without my license and I sent a text to Steph asking her to check her bag for my wallet. She said she will. So I chilled at Jessie's. Then when I left, I actually looked at my phone for the time, I saw that it was Friday night, and I wondered whether there will be a police check, but I brushed it off, thinking I wasn't that unlucky. (I've encountered a police check before, when I was going to Steph's house on a Fri or Sat night 10pm+) THEN, I actually turned out to use the highway, thought better of it, and U-turned back to use the smaller road which had the police check. THEN, I actually wanted to just drop by Steph's house to see if my wallet was there (CUZ SHE DIDN'T TEXT ME BACK) and called her but she didn't pick up, so I was like NGEH. Then BAM, police check. AWESOMEEEEE. It was all pretty funny. I kept saying I'd just left a friend's house and I accidentally left it there. But the police still insisted on seeing it. So I called Sophia (Steph's sis) (THANK GOD I HAD HER NUMBER), and she checked for me and YAY my wallet was there. HUGE RELIEF. And I actually had to ask her mum to drive out to bring it to me. OMKKKK!! -.- Haha. Her mum is now like my bff. Pffttt. 


Then there was the time Jason and I went to Jessie's house while she had a House Meeting. They were discussing what games to play when they lead their future J1 students during orientation class. Jason and I were just minding our own business, playing with our phones and such, then they wanted to try the games out and asked us to join in. Super farnayyy. It was so fun. Played all the party games. There was one where everyone sat in a circle, and one person stands in the middle, holding a broomstick upright with a finger. Then that person calls out a name and releases the broomstick from hold, and the person who was called out has to SCRAMBLE to grab it before it hits the ground. Hilarious. That was super fun. Then I got to 3-point-turn Alex's Ninja King. ^____^ 


Then there was the time, oh wait that was last Friday, I brought Jessie to watch Breaking Dawn and Jason came along. We went to Party Play to eat supper after. I always said they should have live music, and now they do. It's a nice place to go to. :D 


Then, the day before yesterday I was chilling at home, watching HIMYM, and Jessie called to ask if I wanted to eat stuff with Moses, they just finished playing badminton. Then I went and it was 'OH SO AWKWARD' when I saw here were other ppl there!!!!!! *GASPPP* But it was really enjoyable, yet somehow just.. I dunno. The stuff Moses always says makes me blush OHHHH. Zzz. When he keeps setting me up with the other guys he brings. ZZZZ. ALWAYS HAPPENS. Actually it's not just Moses, it's also JESSIE and whoever is in their gang. -.- (yes Jessie, I know you'll read this!!!!!). Haha but it is enjoyable but GAH!!!! 


Then on Wed, we (Jessie, Jason and I) were supposed to watch Puss In Boots. Oh ya, it was also her LAST DAY OF SPM! Total congrats man! Though she didn't really FEEL anything, but I think it's a big thing so yea. She finished her paper at 1pm, and Jason and I went to hers at about 2pm. She had a prom night on Thursday, so I was supposed to help her choose a dress. So she took out ALL the dresses (sooo many!) and tried them on one by one. Haha. All the dresses were either too casual, had no WOW factor, or were GREAT but had that one catch that was a deal breaker. In the end, the dresses left were just those she had worn before and though that was ok, i just wasn't fun, you know? Though we're Malaysian and our proms are not that grand and amazing, where everyone stressed over getting dates and stuff for, but it was supposed to be a fun thing, and it wouldn't be fun if you wear something you've never worn before! So, from watching Puss In Boots and finding matching heels for the dress we should have already chosen, we changed our plans to shopping for a dress. In the end we shopped at Wisma Merdeka. It was so successful. In the second shop we went into, Jessie found a potential dress. And at the third shop, she found another one that we eventually decided on. Fastest shopping ever! It was this longgggg PURPLE tube dress. The shade of the dress was really nice. Though it was a little long, it was really elegant and the colour of the dress was the WOW factor. It helped that it wasn't too showy or dressy, kinda simple, just right for Jessie. Hahaha. 


Then yesterday was the day of her prom! In the morning, Jessie came over to my house. I gave her a couple of pairs of heels to bring home to decide on later for the dress. After we chose those heels, we brought Oysters, my dog, to the vet. OYSTERS IS SO THIN NOW IT'S KINDA SCARY. It was kinda funny, cuz we were both kinda clueless about going to the vet. And we had a little trouble carrying Oysters by ourselves and stuff, but it was alright in the end. Oysters has heart worm and bacteria in the blood or something. SIGH. Soda (may you rest in peace!!) had heart worm, slow death but inevitable death. Lobsters (RIP!!!!!!) was like Oysters, super thin and the way she stood and walked was the same as how Oysters is doing it now. So yea. Not hoping for much but still saddens me deeply. My FB status was: We don't really love our dogs very much, but we appreciate their presence. Which is totally true ya know!! So sad. Then after the vet, we picked Jason up, then went to 1Borneo for the Popular Book Fair!!! Spent like RM200 there on books and a photo album!!! :D They were good buys, but I just don't know if they're books I'll enjoy. Hope I do!!! 


Then it was time to get ready for her PROM! We spent some time looking for JEWELRY, looking for earrings, necklaces and such. Haha. Then she took her shower, blew her hair out nicely, then got dressed in the lovelyyyy dress. She was supposed to go to her friend's house to get ready and get make up on and stuff, but she decided to not go with make up. (She doesn't even need it!) She asked me to help her do something with her hair. 'DECORATE ME' she said. Hahaha. At first I was kinda lost. Cuz she has bangs and bangs are hard to go around. But in the end I just kinda clipped one side of her hair simply, and needless to say, she was BEAUTIFUL. Haha so corny, but totally true!!!! She really really looked great!! Hope she had an amazing time!!!!! 


Now Jessie is in THAILAND after a few days in KL. Haha remember the epic 'Purple solo girl who keeps smiling to her phone'. Hahaha more soon about my hol-holidays!!!!

Freddie Mercury.

"I've lived a full life and if I'm dead tomorrow, I don't give a damn. I really have done it all." 


I wish we could live our lives to the fullest, so much so that we can actually say that out loud.