@#%7$&^!%&*(^*%

The Maths Methods text book is CREPE!

Someone save me!

Sampling without replacement.

Sampling with replacement: The Binomial Distribution.

Whoever said probability was fun..

Hopefully one day I'll say it is fun. It'll come......

eventually.

Gnight, world.

Moving On

Denise told me this and I realized it's true. I have to get this into my head and learn to let go and accept this. It's not going to be easy.

When I'm here, which I will continue to be for some time, my friends will all be moving on. They will be going out with new people, attending parties, sleepovers, outings and DINNERS without me. I'm going to be so jealous but it's bound to happen. I really have to accept this fact and learn to let go.

Hopefully I'll be able to get my own life then, which I do not have much of now.

Well.. I just pray that God will guide me through this rough patch. I pray that He will take away this horrible jealous-ish feeling. It's not good. I want to say that they are lucky they are back home and safe and happy with all their friends, but I am also lucky to be here. Oh well.. Que Sera, Sera.

Going to bed now. Tomorrow it's work! Work Hard (Die Hard) 4 point Ou. Hehe.

Friends and Fans

What does friends mean? What does the word 'friend' mean? People keep asking me whether I've made friends already or not. Well. What is the definition of a friend?

If 'friends' mean acquaintances, then I know many.

If 'friends' mean just being able to talk about normal things, but not really things that matter, then I know a handful.

If 'friends' mean being able to talk and laugh with, the person you hang with during recess, then I have one.

If 'friends' mean being able to really trust and really talk about anything with, without any difficulty, can spend hours and hours with them and not get tired, can laugh at almost nothing for an hour straight, and even feel love for them, then I have none here.

Yup... That's the truth. But I'm alright here, really I am. There's no need to worry. Like I said, blogging is just so I won't forget the feelings I have now, and maybe also to see what you guys have to say about it. =D

As for fans, I meant fans, literally. As in those things that hang from the ceiling and turn at a speed sufficient to move the air enough to create wind. Haha. Regarding the perfect weather, today was the first time we used the fan in class! But it was only during a double Chinese. But it was cool. Haha.

But Friends and Fans. I've recently been watching *drumroll* Devil Beside You, again. (So embarrassing!) I guess I'm just crazy. Anyway. I guess sometimes we actually do mistake being a fan of someone as to actually liking that person. Isn't that true? That's what happened to Qi Yue when she thought she liked Yuan Yi. Haha. So funny. Anyway. Fan or Crush, I guess I should say.. HMM.

And BTW, the weather report lives true to it's nature as a thunerstorm has befallen us here. It's supposed to be 30 degrees tomorrow and THUNDERSTORM! Haha. Going to spend tomorrow and Sunday studying the MM. Hopefully will catch you guys online!

Mathematical Methods

Regarding this and all the VCE stuff, I'm probably doing Indonesian Unit 3 and 4 next year. Hopefully I'll be able to adapt to it. I'm not doing Chinese (OH MY GOSH you're not doing Chinese?!?!!) because it's no chance, seriously, especially when you're competing with the China people. And mainstream Chinese is crazy. It's all about China culture, China articles etc. China China China stuff. So hopefully Indo (doing Mainstream too, as I'm taking ESL) will turn out to be ok. Cross fingers!

For the test I mentioned before which was supposed to be today, it was a no-go. I studied like crazy (not really) and only got half-way (or less?) and I downloaded the Sample Exam for MM, and it was HARD. Hard as in I have not learned any of it. I have, actually, just that not to that extent, it was either a step further than what I have learnt or another side to it that I have never learnt. Or, of course, it flew out of my mind already. So, believe it or not, I only could do one question. I have a sneaking suspicion that the paper I'm doing is Unit 3 and 4. It really was a blow! So I told the Overseas Coordinator, Mrs. Loke, that I didn't want to do the test because I was just not prepared. Not enough time. So she said next Friday. I'm not even sure whether I want to do it anymore. Kat said that doing MM 3 and 4 in Yr. 12 is also good, because it helps you as revision in Spec. Maths. I don't know LAH. I guess I'll just try my best for this test on Friday, see how it goes. Whatever will be, will be (Que Sera, Sera). Cross my fingers and pray that God will lead me to the path that is better for me.

School is still ultimately boring. I only look forward to lunch time and the bulletins we sometimes get. Students in Year 7 (I think), they take turns doing this job where they bring this PDA thing to each class every period so the teacher takes the roll on the PDA, and sometimes they bring along a bulletin which has all the announcements on it. It's cool. Haha. Sad isn't it, that I actually look forward to it!

Anyway, the weather has been getting warmer and warmer. Yesterday was HOT. There were no clouds and it was hot, really. I wore a long-sleeved undershirt and the white polo shirt (one of the uniforms) and I felt hot. When I got home I changed into shorts. SHORTS! The first time I wore shorts since I arrived here you know! Felt really weird!! The weather report said it was 27 degrees but I think it was abit more than that. So today was supposed to be 27 too, but a thunderstorm too. I was debating with myself whether I wanted to wear a long-sleeved undershirt or a singlet or no undershirt at all as the day before really was hot. I didn't come to a conclusion. When I woke up, it was weird. I didn't feel cold, for the first time. I didn't shiver in the bathroom as usual. The air was quite warm. So I wore no undershirt today. FOR THE FIRST TIME! There was no thunderstorm in the end, just constant rain the whole day, on and off. Abit heavier than a drizzle but not those rain where the drops are big and fat. The air was warm but not hot. It was like a typical rainy day in M'sia but probably slightly colder. It was AWESOME. Then after school went to Box Hill to do some stuff and walked around. It was nice. Perfect Day! =D =D

Asians

Don't you think that us, Chinese-ish Asians are so.. ugh! This applies to alot of people, probably me too. We always like to compete with people. I think that this comes from jealousy. We get envious that the other person might be better than us that we try and compete with them, pushing ourselves more and putting ourselves more out-there. Yea, you might say that this is a good thing, but to some degree it's ridiculous. What's wrong with us? Can't we just push ourselves without being jealous over nothing, trying to compete with someone who isn't even aware of our efforts. This comes from us not having accepted the position we ourselves are in, what level we are on.

I believe that (excluding languages), all countries' education is at the same level. There is no 'Malaysia's Maths and Sci is so tough', 'Australia's Maths is so easy, at such a low level' etc. At some point, the level is going to turn out the same. Maths is maths, ultimately it's the same. Sure you might learn it a step faster in this country than in that, so what? Ultimately it's the same! In the end you'll reach the same finishing line more or less! Don't assume, because it makes an Ass out of U and Me, if you get what I mean.

That phrase is so true!

And I also don't like some of the Asians in some of my classes. What's wrong with them? So racist! There's a guy of colour in our year and he keeps to himself alot. And sometimes they run out of seats and there's only one seat left next to him in the 'Asian side of the room' (generally the locals sit at the back and the Asians sit in the front) and the Asians go (in Mandarin), 'Oh.. Ah Beng (random name), now you have to sit next to the Fei1 Zhou1 ren2! Hahahahaha.' Like.. what rubbish is this? Or sometimes the person who has to sit next to the guy will say 'Aiya, being forced to sit with the Fei1 Zhou1 ren2 now.. What should I do?'. Sheesh, seriously! It's not like we've never been discriminated before, who are we to treat other people like that? So crappy, puts me to shame that I'm the same race as them.

And there's another thing. I found out today that one of my friends (what is a friend?) is half-colour blind. I think. I'm pretty sure, but she could always be playing me. She said she could only see some colours and didn't know whether I was wearing the white shirt or the blue shirt (both are uniforms). She said everything is just greyish, so she said that text books which are in black and white only are so much more comfortable to look at.

I've thought about colour-blindness before (as I think about everything!) after watching Para Para Sakura. Like all other handicapped people, it is so horrible. For colour-blind people, they can't see colours (-.-) and think of this. You ask them 'So you've never seen the sky blue before?'. They say 'What is blue? I've never seen blue before. What is it like?'. Think about that, seriously! They won't even know what colours there are, what colours even are! They won't know what blue looks like, although we see it everyday, they won't know what green looks like, although it keeps us alive. Sigh... I might be wrong, because I don't have much knowledge regarding this issue. I just pray that every handicapped person will be blessed with a talent or skill, gifted to only a few people. And that they will be blessed with one day or a few hours at least, to be able to see the earth in it's full colour, see how beautiful it is.

Appreciate life yo. Seriously. We're lucky and blessed. E-VE-RY-DAY. =)

Catch Up!

I'm lacking behind myself! There are many things I want to say.

First of all, I would like to, once again, state how wonderful my friends are, bet you guys are tired of hearing it. So anyway, that day I took out the album to look through, then I came to the page, 'Words From Heart'. They used a pink piece of paper and folded it into a long envelope and stuck it on the page, and the words were there, written by Lee Pei (am I wrong about this?), 'Words From Heart'. So in the plane when I read the album for the first time, I lifted the flap open but didn't see an opening there, so I just flipped the page over. But as I was looking through it for the second time, I did lift the flap up again, but I didn't see the opening. Totally by chance, I pressed down on the page and realised something WAS in the envelope. So I looked more closely and there was indeed an opening. I reached in and found that there were many short letters! But I didn't want to read it then. So I waited for a few days and finally a time came when I was comfortable, in a good mood and free. Thus I decided to read all those letters.

So touched! Seriously! I wonder how much work they went through to get everything, to compile all the photos, to go and cut and paste everything by themselves, writing everything by hand. There were many letters! Thank you, seriously sincerely, everyone who wrote the letters! And of course to Steph, Pei and Tur for giving this gift to me. I'm sure you guys had fun asking Alexis to write the letter. Joway's letter was SO FUNNY!!! There were so many! Half the class wrote one I think, and also some from other classes. I'm just... seriously I don't know what to say! Speechless (Lee Pei!!! Speechless =P)! I love you guys! I miss you guys. Thank you very, very much for everything. All the memories! The Nestum Bubur, the 'Phoebe Sandwich', the Mi Hun!!! The 'Chicken Rice + Soup RM3', all the movies, the outings, the volleyball, the parties and of course, the sleepovers and the SURPRISES! Oh, never forgetting the so-pro STEPH serving the ball during the interclass competition after sitting out and suddenly being asked by me to come in and play the last point (opponent's, unfortunately), and it so-awesomely going over!!

So many memories... so, so many. Speechless.

Time

Time is definitely running out! I mean that literally actually. Because it's almost the end of school. I'm in school now and our teacher is busy so she just asked the sub to give us a work sheet, finish that and we can use the computers. And it's a double!

Anyway, Yes, I caught Jessie online yesterday! Finally! I was about to go offline actually. Haha. Kel was standing beside me with a hanger asking me to go to bed. Was absolutely hilarious! Asked mum to save me and we kept laughing. SO MEAN! Kel is so MEAN! Seriously the Dragoness! Hahaha.

Anyway, I'm sick now. Have the flu. Seriously hope that it will go away ASAP. So troublesome!

Tim and Aunty Ping has left and returned to Kuching after spending about a week here. Went out for Dim Sum on Sat and Sun, it was quite ok. But then unfortunately they didn't have the sago+yam dessert me and Dana love so much. Both places didn't have! How unlucky is that!

And we passed by the state library and it just reminded me of when Dana was here in Melbourne and we kept laughing at how Australians had a thing for grass. It was funny. We also went to the Pancake Parlour and I really enjoyed it this time. We had Kat's favourite Korean Pancake, she calls it. It's just a crepe and owned by a Korean. It's actually a place for couples and stuff, called Harajuku or something. Tim had fun with it.

Well.. That's all I'm going to say now. Since it's almost time for the bell to go. Well.. see you guys on the weekend. Have to prepare for this stupid test. Have to run through the whole text book by Friday. By myself. We're not doing it at school yet. Gah.

Random Stuff

6th of Oct, we had abit of hail at 6.50pm. It was still bright, the sun had not gone down. It had been raining on and off the whole day and I was just sitting at the dining table (which is just beside the sliding transparent door to the 'back porch' when it started to rain ice! But it was really small and light, it wasn't like the ones in The Day After Tmr where you can bleed by getting hit by the ice. Haha. It was so cool but it lasted for only about 5 seconds where we were. Oh well. It was cool anyway. A first experience for me.

Today was Crazy Hair Day for my school, as well as Free Dress Day. But you had to pay to Free Dress, which is abit ironic, if you take the 'Free' literally. Hahaha. So I didn't, along with a few other people. Crazy Hair Day was really funny. There was a competition during lunch (an hour break) at the quadrangle, which is like the courtyard of the school. So anyway, this girl won. She had candy all over her hair. It was either real candy handing by a pin, or wrapping or candy, there was even a small Maltesers packet hanging there (empty), a small pink balloon, and all her ponytails were tied by those snake gummies. It was really cool. And this guy who wore this crazy huge wig and beard won too. He dressed in a robe and held a staff, he was Jesus. It was kind of funny. Because I overheard him talking to his friend.

Friend: Why don't you have any followers Jesus?

Him: I couldn't get anyone to follow me. As long as there is one person following me, I'll still be here. And there's one person who is still following me, and that's me. And unless you can make me not follow myself, then I'll still be here.

Haha. And when it was his turn for judging, he turned around and ''parted the red sea'' which was just a big group of people sitting on the ground enjoying the show. They just moved to the side and 'parted'. It was really good. Funny.

People just mainly sprayed their hair with loads of colour, put loads of glitter and stuff. Interesting. Haha.

Oooh. Just saw that Joey blogged about me leaving. Thanks for the wish!!!! HAPPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to Joey!!!! 19th Oct 2009! You're sixteen! Enjoy it while it lasts. Hope that this year will be a good year for you! Work hard! =D

Well.. for those of you who know,

Set yourself free, go pee on a tree. (peeoutside.org)

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Anyway, hopefully everything will improve here. Waiting for JESSIE to come online the same time as me, and waiting for TUR to reply me.

Love too much.

Big Thanks

To all my great friends who blogged about me leaving, thank you. I'm really touched and happy that I have you guys as friends, seriously. I cross my fingers that I'll be happy here, because I said I'll take care when I'm here to you guys.

I'm sorry this is belated, and I just don't know what to say. What exactly do you say when you are blessed with such great friends?

It's so weird, sometimes, if I stop and think about it. It's so weird without my close friends beside me. Seriously. I do wonder how things are going back home, whether they are going out after exams, whether they'll stuff themselves with Wagamama. And I also wonder whether or not they wonder about me.

Smile-just-thinking-about-it: Steph at her party going: Allow your body to rock with the movement of the earth. (讓你的身體跟著地心引力自由擺動). Seriously funny. Miss her!!!!

Well.. Thank you my friends. Love you guys. Hope you guys are doing well.

Tell Me Your Wish

Hey! The weekend is coming to a close! Sorry I didn't really go online much. I can't believe this weekend has gone by so fast.

Tomorrow and Tuesday is supposed to be quite warm, about 20 degrees! YAY! I totally can't wait! But unfortunately I haven't bought the school summer skirt so my legs won't be able to enjoy the Vitamin D. How sad, seriously!

Well.. Because I want to reduce my workload in Year 12 (last year of high school), I want to do at least one subject for VCE next year (Year 11). So I'm planning to do Mathematical Methods Units 3 and 4 next year for VCE. For that, I'll have to try my best to finish up 1 and 2 this year. There are alot of different maths here, one of them is MM. There's General Maths which is easier, there's Specialist Maths which is way harder. I think there are others, but I'm not sure. It's just that I'm really doubtful about next year, what subjects will I be doing, will I be able to take 3 and 4 for VCE next year, will I have too much work in Year 12, etc etc! Before I go to sleep this is what I think of.

But there is something else more urgent weighing my mind now. But I'll blog about that after it's over. This issue has been taking up my free-time-day-dreaming to analyse every step, thinking it over and over and over again, even EYE am sick of it. But there's no quitting. I just really, really hope everything will turn up fine. So far so good I GUESS. Cross my fingers!

I think this second week over here was better... Still haven't made friends with locals. Slowly. No rush. Focusing on my studies now. Haha. Moving very slowly with The Taking. Now the lights are permanently out, THE DOLL disappeared!!! Haha. Creepy, if you really imagine in clearly. ARGGGHHHH!!! And despite 'focusing' on my studies, I play Kel's DS too. Haha. I'm playing Harvest Moon. Really frustrating sometimes! So it's basically what I do here. I do my homework (if I have any), and then I play the DS or read The Taking. But now I guess it'll be different. Because I'll be doing my MM! Sigh. But I really have to finish it. Because I seriously am doubting myself whether I'll be able to learn all these things and excel at it and stuff like that. Make use of the time I have now!

Stressed! *internal scream!*

HAHA. Watch this! So cool. I really, really like this! This is a Star Dance Battle, where two groups of singers battle by dancing and singing to the opponent's songs. So this is Super Junior, singing and dancing to SNSD's Tell Me Your Wish (Genie) (SNSD aka Girls' Generation). It's really funny. Go watch the original ones! And bear in mind, the song is for hot girls to sexy dance to. Haha. So enjoy!

Genie, I want to be able to do well in, well, my studies, I guess. Gah..

Hands Full!

Forgot to post about this. Yep. So I'm abit confused. i usually keep an informal 'diary' which I have finished thanks to Crys. But now I have two books. One is the one Pauline gave to me and one is the one Jessie gave to me. Oh wait! Pauline, what do you want me to write? The story meaning my story here in Aus or our story about us KLAT (haha)? And I brought a new informal 'diary' too. So I don't know. What am I supposed to write in? I brought all three of these over though.

HMM..

You guys are so going to yell at me!

When you can't be with the one you love, will you stay with the one who loves you?

I'm sorry guys! It's just that I saw the New Moon book in K-Mart and the cover is the fourth picture (published by ATOM). It looked so awesome, seriously! So I went to look for it online and thus, here are the nice ones I found. Of course some of them are not official. Haha. But they are nice, nonetheless! =D I'm sorry, Edward fans, I scream for Team Jacob now. Hahahahahahaha. I seriously like the last four pictures. The first one was just standard. Oh and of course, I do not own any of these. So enjoy.. Though we book-readers know the movie is going to be disappointing, it's nice to be excited about it.

Team Jacob!!!

Before I leave,

Just want to say that now it's so weird, the way I speak Chinese. 'China Chinese' Denise said. Haha.

Seriously. It's hard. It sounds so weird! But if you don't do it then the China people won't really understand you.

It's really true, what Kel said. Everyone is so shocked and amazed because I'm an Asian who can speak English properly without going to the language class. And they are so amazed because I can speak English AND Chinese. They are so wowed by this fact. Hahaha. But I don't think it's anything to be proud of because neither of these two languages have I mastered properly. Sigh..

Anyway... I still feel quite unsafe, not really knowing what the future is going to be like. And future as in the near future like in two weeks time, where would I stand? Hopefully by that time I have gotten used to the cold, although it's not likely because some days I see locals chattering their teeth because of the cold.

Oh well.. Going to do something more productive like play Matchstick Puzzle on the DS or something. Hahahhaha.

OHNOEYECANTBELIEVEEYEFORGOT

Ok. So the night before I left for Aus, we were packing until about 2am I guess. After a shower, I allowed myself, finally, to open my farewell gifts.

Denise: Hahaha. Thanks!!!!! It's so you!! Seriously! I'll definitely start saving money! =P
Angela: Hahaha. Actually I didn't guess it right until you smsed me. Haha. Thanks!!!! That is a really great gift that I will use. You put alot of time in it too! Thanks!!! =D
Pauline: Thanks!!!! Really, really great gift! =D But again, pencil?!?! Always tell you to use pen but you never listen. Hahaha. But thanks k!!!!
Jessie: Hahaha. So cool!!!!!!!! Little Miss Christmas. Too bad there's no Little Miss Weird, huh. When I saw the journal, I immediately thought about Twilight. Why is that? Thanks alot!!

I really like all the gifts very much! It'll always remind me of you guys! Thanks alot! =D

So after reading Pauline's gift and Jessie's note, after crying/tearing up, went to bed. I had to wake up at about 5am to go to the airport.

After a dazed packing and goodbyes to kakaks, went in the car and just stared out the window. I remember looking at the sky and thinking how the sky of the past days had been so beautiful, full of clouds, until early afternoon, when usually all beautiful clouds were blown away by mid-morning. So on the way to the airport, in the car with Kev, I remember Kev getting a text msg and him reading it while driving, I remember being annoyed at him. But you'll know why later, which is a guess. Haha.

So we checked in, me, mum and dad, I think. Then after that we walked out and Kev was standing there beside the car and then all of a sudden SURPRISE! Steph, Pei, and Tur came out of nowhere, wearing their school uniforms. I was so shocked, well, not really. I was sort of indifferent, as I always am when I get surprises. (I have a glitch in my brain) But I seriously, seirously had no idea they were doing this. I seriously was touched by them caring enough to wake up at such early hours (when they always come sort of late to school) just to send me off. Then they gave me this booklet they call the 'album'. The front page was really, really awesome. Haha. But they said only open it in the plane. So we spent some time just chatting and laughing. Whispering furiously about the smokers and pointing at the No Smoking sign. Hahaha. Oh ya! After they came out and surprised me, Liau's car pulled up, her bro drove her. She was late. But I was touched that she would come too. Pei and Tur slept over in Steph's house. They spent about a day doing the album, I think, and they slept late finishing it.

BTW, I guess that it was one of the, texting Kev when he was driving. What do you think?

Soon it came the time for us to leave, and for them to head off to school. We hugged and stuff, it was all good. I was going ot miss them desperately, travelling into the unknown, just a deep empty hole waiting for me and my sisters to colour it up. Then when they were walking to the car, I started crying, I have no idea why. When they all were in the car except Pei, Pei just stood there facing me. How sad. I'm going to miss her so much! We stared at each other, she was smiling, I was crying, tears blurred my vision and I was j ust waving and she just stood there. Then she went into the car, and Steph, who was sitting in the front seat, took a tissue and waved her hand outside the window, just waving that tissue up and down, up and down, like in those movies. Hahaha. It was funny but sad too. =(

Then sat at the waiting area before screening, and wiped up the tears. Then said goodbye to Kev. Dad was going to leave us at KL. Cried with Kev too, so many unspoken things in that hug. =S

Then in the plane, (we were travelling by Air Asia!!!) I started reading the album. OMYGOSH. It's such a great gift! Seriously. I paused after typing 'such a great gift' to think of words to describe it but there really is none! Really. It was funny, sad, happy, nostalgic, and so many other things. It put our history in such concrete evidence. Then at the end there were letters from each one of them. But I didn't read that until in the KL-Melb flight. I seriously cried alot when reading the album. I didn't think I could cry any more but I did when reading the letter. My eyes were sore and dry, but maybe because I cried just a little too much, it didn't go puffy as usual. Haha. Turtle was so funny, she mentioned some things that we went through together before, and some I don't remember. What banana?????????????? Haha.

Well... That's all I guess. Sad sad sad. Cry cry cry. Closure? I think I got it. Thanks alot guys! Seriously, truly! Thank you! For those who came to the farewell party. Denise, Siow On, Sim Ying, Liau, Pei, Tur, Angela, Pauline, Nick, Tham, Crys, Pui Chi, Jessie, Janice, Steph, Joey and Jamie. Did I miss anyone? Yes it was a small party. Thanks for coming! Especially Pei and the other Mr. Lim group who had to miss tuition to come. I really appreciate it, and I'm happy that you guys came. Thanks Steph, and Pei for surprising me with Jessie and Janice!! Haha. You guys are great. I bet Jessie and Janice were abit confused and awkward because they were exposed to how crazy and lame my friends were, but that's why I love them. Gah. And thanks mum for cooking, even though you were stressed and busy. I appreciate it!!!! REALLY! And the funny 'I am a C, I am a C.H., I am a C.H.R.I.S.T.I.A.N.' song. Haha. Had it in my brain the next day. =P

Well.. This was my closure. The end of the chapter of one part of my life. I hope that I have grown. I know I make a difference when I walk down a path, but sometimes I think I make difference that would have been better off not made. Seriously. Oh well. The beginning of this chapter, is still unsure, I can safely say that. We'll see how it goes.

As I say, have faith in your friendships ok? Don't ever, ever take advantage of them. I have done so. Learn not to. SERIOUSLY.

I miss my friends. =( =)

Australia

Well.. Finally I have come to this post. I am here in Australia. Today has been colder than usual. The air is just so cold, and it's been windy the whole day too. So here I am, wearing a pull-over jumper, house-slippers, blanket over my shoulders, blanket over my legs, and blanket over my arms. Hahaha. Mum's dinner smells really good, as always! =D

So anyway. I've been here since Saturday, almost a week now. Started school on Monday. Well, culture shock I guess, but not much. The way school runs here is really different, lenient in alot of other ways, but mind, I am studying in a public school. So anyway. Classes here are not that interesting, really, I could say it is more boring than in TTSS. Mainly because the teachers here cover very little topics in a period compared to TTSS. But this is onlny Year 10, so I guess nothing really matters. Lenient, in ways concerning the attire, the class conduct, attendance and stuff. But it depends on the teachers too. So anyway, I'm taking ENO (which is sort of like English articles, I don't know what it stands for..), Eng, Chi, Maths, General Sci and Consumer Sci. It's all ok I guess, just kind of boring. Currently only looking forward to Maths.... Over here we don't have classes, as in our own classroom like in TTSS. We change classes for every subject. And every subject has different students in it, but you'll share classes with most of them. It is sort of a nightmare for me, because I'm still getting used to the location of each class. Hehe.

Well, over here, the student population is generally divided into two: the overseas students and the locals. The overseas students comprise of loads of China people, a cluster of Vietnamese and a couple of Koreans and Japs. And of course there's the occasional Malaysian. So the Vietnamese stick to themselves, the Koreans and Japs too, and the Chinese all speak Chinese with that China accent or cantonese. So there I am, neither able to speak good Chi or Cantonese, nor good English. So I am stuck in the middle. It's kind of hard to make friends. I have a hard time understanding the Chinese, and they sort of slur their words, which makes it works. And then the locals don't usually mix with the overseas, so yup. I know a few people by now, but not alot I have connected with, nor no more than one I can call a friend. But it's only been a week. So.. cross your fingers and hope it'll get better. =D

So on the first day of school, I just felt totally out of place. Didn't know what to do, where to go, kind of sad I guess. I had cold lunch that day. For the overseas, we get a room where we can eat lunch whereas the locals have to eat outside. And thank goodness for that room, I couldn't stand the cold, eating outside. I'll probably drop all my food because of my unstoppable shaking hands. And so we get 4 microwaves to heat our lunch up. Haha. The second day, I had slightly cold lunch. I didn't heat it up long enough. I went to eat with someone I met. It was FREEZING outside. I wanted to cry. Haha. So Wednesday. Awesomeness! Us Year 10s had ACE, I have no idea what that stands for but it's sort of like an outing for us. They may bring us to factories, or court rooms, or stuff like that. Usually it is in the afternoon after lunch, but that day was a special one so it was the whole day. There were two groups, one was going to Metec (or however you spell it) where they go driving (?) then another group, the one I was in, went to High Ropes in Aquarena. It was really awesome. I was in a group of 4 with Mary-Anne, Yan and Sum Sum. So we went to this first one where you climb up high and walk on two suspended cables (of course with harnesses and a helmet on) with nothing to hold on but the rope connected to your harness. I went first and it took a looooonng time. It was seriously creepy and definitely tiring. So then after me, Sum Sum went. After that we took a break, ate lunch and stuff. Then after that break Yan went onto the one where you walk on a suspended log, with also nothing to hold on but the rope connected to your harness. Scary. Then we went to the flying fox for Mary-Anne who was really scared of heights. We persuaded her to try the flying fox. It looked really fun because it could go right to the end and back. How awesome is that? The one I've been on doesn't even reach half-way. So anyway, yes she did it. And it was awesome for her. She was so relieved! And then I went on. WOAH. Absolutely exhilirating. When you step off from the platform, your heart and guts are still on it but you're falling. That rush and VOOOSSHH feeling Jessie LOVES so much. It was awesome. Then you find yourself flying!!! Wow!

Then after that Sum Sum wanted to try the Leap of Faith! It's where you climb to the top of a pole which is a vertical log, and yous tand on top of it. There is a suspended trapeze about two feet diagonally away from that top of the pole. And you leap, with nothing but your faith (and your harness... haha) and try to grab that trapeze. It is terrifying. The hardest part is actually deciding to jump AND doing so. Some people coun to three and don't jump. Haha. So Sum Sum wanted to do that so she climbed up and stood there for about 5 minutes or so. She wanted me to go after her, but I was terrified and was not sure whether I wanted to do it. She kept bracing herself and finally she leaped! She made it!!!!! =D So totally awesome! I was watching from the ground and was totally in awe seeing her make it. After that I was so pumped up I went for a go too. I climbed up the pole, while the guide who was also the belayer tried to take my mind of reaching such a great height. I'm not generally scared of heights, so climbing the pole was quite easy, as was standing on the Flying Fox platform was too, though many are petrified on the platform. Getting two feet up onto the pole was hard. It was really scary. You had nothing to hold onto except for the rope connected to your harness, but like a ll other cases, the belayer has to be really good to keep the rope to the tautness you want it to be, to make you feel comfortable. So getting the second foot onto the pole was really hard, because you had to let go of the handles connected to the pole. So I stood on the pole, looked down at my group members and saw their nods of encouragement. After a while I mustered up the courage and counted off, 1! 2! 3! And I jumped! I reached the trapeze!!!! WHOA!!!!!! So totally awesome!!! I really felt great after that. As if I could do anything else in the world. But of course, it's really simple, this leap of faith. You only have to get the courage to jump outwards towards the trapeze, and it's actuallyl the belayer who pulls the rope very quickly and strongly so it actually lifts you up higher, keep you suspended for a longer time and so you can reach the trapeze. Hahaha. It was really great!!! REALLY! I would so totally go again, no hesitations at all, if I had a chance! =D

So about 3pm we all went back by bus again. It was tiring but fun. =)

On thursday, had a slightly hot, but not entirely hot lunch. Hahaha. Stupid microwave! But today I had a really hot lunch! So that was nice. Sum Sum had Food Tech before lunch. She cooked Risotto and shared some with me and Anna. Nice!!!! Really good! Went for a walk at the library after lunch. So tempting!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But all in all.. Good first week I GUESS. It had never been me walking into a school where I don't know anyone AT ALL. So I don't know how it's supposed to be. But it's ok I guess. Thanks Sum Sum for making me do the Leap of Faith. Awesomeness!

Well.. I live next to the train track, near the Laburnam train station, so I always hear the 'beep' of the train. Hehe. It's quite interesting to see how many people board the train at what time. Surprisingly alot of people board it at 10+pm. Interesting. Haha. Boring, I know.

Hehe... So that's all I guess. Nothing else. Sometimes I forget that I'm staying here long term. Like when I was changing my watch to Aus time, I was like Sigh, I'm going to have to do this again soon when I come back. Then it hit me, hey, I'm not coming back for a while now. Haha.

I guess the cold is not really fun. During holidays, we think it's so refreshing and nice, but to me, the thought of the cold being around permanently is a dread, really. I think my cells are dying one by one because of the cold. Sometimes I even want to give up and go back home to Malaysia where it is always warm. But, haha, in your dreams, I tell myself. I can't bear to think how winter will be like!

And newsflash to all of you, I'll be back only in Jan!

That's all for now.

BTW, my handwriting is so, so ugly because of the cold. My fingers are always numb. Gah!!!!

How Far I've Come

Hehe. This post was supposed to be before I left. But oh well.

2009- Back Home.

I think being alone this year, as I have been for the past few years, I realised how far I've come, what I am capable of. Alone as in alone without my sisters and brother here. This year without them, I feel that I have matured at least a little, for I have had to prepare gifts by myself and carry a few responsibilities by myself.

For Mother's Day and Father's Day, I had to prepare the gifts and special food for them. I'm happy because I was able to surprise them and let them have that moment of happiness. For Mother's Day, (just to recap, I have posted about this haha) I bought Ngiu Chap and flowers for my awesome mum. And for Father's Day (have I posted about this?) I bought a coffee bean cake for him and Häagen-Dazs. Haha. I also had to make cards for them both myself. It was really a new thing for me because me and my sisters usually do these things together, and Kat would make the cards.

I have matured a little also because with me studying late some days, I made sure that everything was locked up before going to bed. Probably it is paranoia. Haha. Also when mum was gone, I would always make an effort to eat dinner with him, even if it meant waiting until 9pm to eat. Though we usually eat in silence, it is still worth it.

Well.. I don't know what else. I guess I just realised that if I put my heart into something, not only that but also scream and grunt and pull myself off my gigantic, lethargic butt, I can do it. Haha.

OK. FIRST OF ALL,

Let's get the sad things out of the way first. Here is the post 'Gone Too Far'.

So anyway. This post is quite personal. I don't like A, the subject of this post who you might or might not know who it is. Why? I think it's simple yet complicated, yet isn't everything like that? But before this, you have to know the kind of person I am. I am really sensitive to what everyone aronud me is feeling. I can tell when someone wants something, when someone is starting to get angry, when someone is uncomfortable and things like that. And it's because of that I am much too nice a person because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. And I don't like people saying that they will do something but don't. I also don't laugh at people meanly, because I know what it is like to be the topic of gossip.

Back to A. As I have come to know A better, I realised that A is a very selfish person, I guess, inconsiderate. A spends alot of money and yet A doesn't go get a proper job even though A has graduated and should be at a proper job already. A even started a Masters course but pulled out in the middle of it. I don't think much of that, it is definitely understandable, but also undeniably a waste of money. A sometimes talks about buying a car which is inappropriate to me because like I said, A hasn't gotten a job yet. A spends alot of money because of the way A drives which uses up alot of petrol, because A eats alot, and A likes to buy things impulsively.

A also says A wants to lose weight, yet A doesn't do anything about it. A eats alot, doesn't bother to cut down in quantity and doesn't even bother to cut down the unhealthy food. A used to be very fit and sporty, but A has let A-self go and though A says A wants to pull A-self back together, A doesn't.

A also is prejudiced. I don't like that. A laughs at people and thinks highly of A-self's background and such. We are blessed to be from quite well-off families. A has alot of pride. A looks down on people with low pay jobs. Yet we should be grateful, I feel, for they provide a service which everyone needs. As if A is too important to be doing such low pay, low class jobs. So disappointing.

A also likes to show off. A likes to show what A's intelligence is capable of. Sometimes A goes to far. Although sometimes A is right, and the other is wrong, it is sometimes not necessary to continue to argue the point, for it is not worth it, yet A can't just let go, even though that 'other' person is someone who took care of A since born, brought A up and sacrificed so, so much for A.

I think that because of all these things, and maybe more, I just get put off by A and don't really want to spend time talking to a person like A. That is why I always jokingly say that A is fat and things like that, but actually I do mean it. A IS fat and I just want A to realise that, really realise that. But don't get me wrong, A is still a caring person.

So now, when I talk to A, I'm not that interested in what A is saying, because of his personality. But then A did this really caring thing that I am really grateful of. A laminated the piece of paper 'This is what you want' paper I got from my friends. When A passed it to me, I wasn't concentrating fully on what A was doing as I am not interested in what A says to me. So I just said, put it there. But then after A left I realised what A did for me. And I feel SO bad. I still do. Whatever A is, A did this act for me, though I did not ask it from A. Yet I did not even say a thank you to A. To you, that act might not be able to justify who A is. Can it? I don't know. But I know that act deserve a serious thank you, and it has not been served by me.

So this is how far I've come to putting A on the sidelines when I am talking to A.

Gone too far. =(