Heya. So very quickly, FIRST YEAR LECTURES ARE DONE! We finished our last test on Wednesday. OMG it was kind of a joke la the test. The lecturer gave us the exact same paper as last year's one. He didn't even bother changing the sequence or whatever. I guess he didn't think we would have last year's paper? I don't know. It was ridiculous though. The amount of time I could've saved NOT studying extra material. UGH. But oh well.
It was fun!!!! Yong and I ordered food from Mania Stream, the Malaysian chef that delivers food to your place if you order, and it's only 3.50euros. That night it was Nasi Dagang with chicken or fish (Mackerel) curry. It was SOOOOO yummy. It was kinda like nasi lemak, it was coconut milk rice (according to the internet anyway) and then it had half a boiled egg, and then the curry was so yummy. OMG. I had no idea why I hadn't ordered her food more often. Oh and we fried an egg too!! Then we watched Tangled!!! HAHA BEST MOVIE! Sam joined us a bit later. We watched the movie together then at the end when the credits rolled right, they played a really happy song, and you can just imagine the actors and actresses dancing in a silly way in front of the camera like they do in some of the typical movies. So I dunno why, Sam and I naturally started becoming spastic or like Yong said, as if we had seizures. It was so fun oh.. just dancing like that on the bed while sitting down hahaha. Then Sam left after we had a chat, and Yong stayed till 3.45am!!! We just watched a couple of episodes of HIMYM, watched Youtube videos. It was kinda nice, but I kinda wondered why it had to wait till we're at the end of first year to actually hang out you know?
High on life!!
Then on Thursday, went for lunch in the city with Sam, Yong and Andrea. Ate in the Natural Bakery or something like that, the orange shop. Had smoked turkey sandwiches with BRIE in them, SO YUMMY. Had dessert after that with Yong, I had an apple crumble I think which was 2.60euro (30 cents for cream!!!), and I have to pay Yong for that because I didn't have cash then!!!! (I haven't paid her, gotta remember to do so!). Then bought some groceries stuff in the English Market. I actually bought ONE chilli padi and one tomato for an Asian spaghetti meal I was gonna have with pan fried cod! And the scale couldn't detect the negligible weight of that one chilli padi, so the asian lady at the till just charged me 15cent for that. T.T I FELT SO CHEATED!!!!!!!! But oh well my meal was yummerz! I gotta learn how to pan fry fish properly!!! Yong came over after dinner to print her tickets, and stayed after that to hang out till about 1am. :D
Today (technically ystd) was Good Friday. Didn't go to church tho because it wasn't in the Honan. And I didn't wanna go to some boring church where I can hardly understand the priest. Feel kinda guilty :( But I spent some time with my flatmates in the living room. They had a party last night at our place. Oh gosh. Someone set off the fire alarm, they hit the button that you're supposed to hit when they're actually a fire. -.- Don't know if we're gonna get fined for that. :/ Then, some half naked guys no one knew broke the window in the stairwell outside our apartment by kicking it. Sigh. -.- and our toilet's blocked too. THANK GOODNESS I'm leaving tmr, hope it gets fixed by the time I get home. :D Then I ironed my clothes at Yong's place. Then dinner at hers too. Pan fried cod, garlic chilli broccoli carrots tomato spaghetti, and boiled potatoes cuz I love eating butter with boiled potatoes. Hahaha. Had strawberries with dodgy Tesco chocolate mousse and a great chat with Yong!!! We talked about boys and funny stories etc. It was so nice to be talking on topics which you talk about in high school you know? It was great. :D Packed and I skyped my mum!!!!! It was so funnyyyyyy. She was at the Sutera gym (weird cuz she doesn't go there often) and she was lying on the floor, she said she was doing stretches. OMG. So there she was, lying on the floor IN A PUBLIC PLACE and SKYPING her daughter. HAHA she always does all these embarrassing stuff UGH. Love her for it though. So funny.
So yea. I'm gonna open a Savings Account in AIB cuz they have the best interest. :D Oh, I'm going to London btw to visit Ray. I'm leaving tmr!!!!! And I'll be able to see Aunty Doris and Emer too cuz they'll only be leaving on the 1st! I'm SO EXCITED OHHHHH, cuz I'll be seeing someone from HOME. :') Can't wait!! Spending a week there, then I'll come back and hardcore study cuz I'm so ashamed of my DS exam that I don't ever wanna repeat it. Remember! Pack your toiletries and chargers tmr!!!!
The reason I asked my mum to skype was because I had a stress episode. About how life is short and all that. It was brought on by seeing Yee Kee post on facebook about the anniversary of her dad's passing. :( It's so sad. And I'm always just absolutely terrified that that will happen to me. It's so scary. And I don't skype with my parents often at all. The last time I skyped my dad was the 20th of Feb. That's more than a month ago!!!! We just don't have the habit I guess to skype regularly. :( This needs to change!!!! So yea. I had a good chat with my mum tho. It was nice.
Appreciate ok! Don't wait until misfortune hits for you to learn how to appreciate stuff. :)
Nights people!!! I've been sleeping so late these past few days. -.-
Sat 30/3/13 04:04
I LOVE THESE BISCUITS SO MUCHHHH I DON'T CARE THAT THEY EACH CONTAIN 85 CALORIES AND 35.1% FAT. And yes, I just googled these figures because... well, I won't know them off the top of my head. I DON'T COUNT CALORIES!!!!! (Haha, remember when we were in Raleigh during Project Phase, we were all under the tarp for lunch or something and they were talking about how many calories our high-calory lunch contained etc, and Alice kept saying exasperatedly that IT'S STUPID TO COUNT CALORIES. Hahaha well maybe she didn't say it like that, but yea. GOOD TIMES). JAMMIE DODGERS NOM NOM.
Oh, I watched Easy A just now though I'm supposed to be studying. It's a greaaaaat movie. I think Emma Stone is absolutely beautiful. The colour of her eyes are so wow! Totes LOLed at David Letterman complimenting her when she was on his show.
Oh, cooked ASIAN SPAGHETTI last night for dinner. It wasn't really asian. But it just doesn't really have a sauce. I was aiming for the one that mum always cooks at home which I LOVE. She usually puts prawns in it or make it a vegetarian dish. Last night, I just put eggplant, fresh tomatoes, chicken (in case my flatmates don't eat eggplants), garlic and chilli in, with some herbs. I was SO WORRIED the girls wouldn't like it. It was the first time in ages that I cooked something that's NOT stir-fry chicken with rice. It turned out ok, so relieved. It wasn't anything like my mum's dish, but it was yummy and chilli hot so I liked it and apparently so did the girls hehe. 
Then after dinner we sat around the living room and realised that IT WAS JUST US GIRLS. We ALWAYS have guests in the living room. When I say always, I mean always! The lads from Charleville and Grace are usually always around. It was SO NICE to sit in a quiet living room. We just played 4 Pics 1 Word, Laura played with Pou, and we just talked. It was great. Haha. Back to study!
Tues 19:36 26/3/13
So I was bored, I was finding ways to procrastinate. But I didn't wanna go on FB. So what did I do? I went to read my first few posts in this blog!!! Ohmygosh. Life has actually changed so much. It's kinda hard to grasp that idea because we're here NOW and it just seems so natural and maybe we don't properly think back to what the old times were like. Well, maybe you do remember a couple of memories here and there. But you don't remember how life actually was! The mundane day-to-day stuff. Like studying for Sejarah and doing projects. Gosh. It seemed like ages ago. Well, it kinda was, it was 2008... I was 15!!!! haha. And now I'm 20. Woah, time is scary. But yea. I'm so glad I blogged man and talked about amazingly trivial things. I kinda miss life back then. Now I feel like my posts are mostly about... changing and being better and being strong and surviving. :'( I guess when you're out of high school, out of that amazing family of 50 other ppl with whom you spend 6 days a week with, when you're hardly ever alone and can just always fall back to your circle of friends with whatever's on your mind. But now... adulthood without a boyfriend or girlfriend is full of lonely self-searching paths. bla bla bla bla. Whatever it is, I'm grateful for the life I've had so far. :D :D :D Memories are awesomeeeeee.
Mon 21:56 25/3/13
LOVE dipping biscuits in my hot drink, either milo or hot chocolate or just warm milk. :D
Milo in my milo cup that I brought from Malaysia. :D
I love the biscuit when it's become soggy. So NICE. But then it's the WORST first world problem when it breaks off from the rest of the biscuit and you try and retrieve it with your spoon and you scoop and you scoop but just end up breaking it into small small pieces and you end up with tiny specks of biscuit and you do a rage face and flip the table due to anger. :P Study bye!
Mon 01:03 25/3/13
Haha don't judge meee. I'm still here and it's 2am and I've probably read 2 sentences. I suddenly thought about the thoughts I had about my parents' love for each other (hahaha whuuut) and how I wanted to do a post about it. So I wanted to check if I had done that post before because I talk so much that I can't rmbr half the things I say (true story). So then I searched my blog for the word -LOVE- and omg, worst idea ever. Seriously man, I did not know that I LOVED so many things. HAHAHA. There's a LOVE in so many posts it's crazy. And in one post, there could be like 5 Loves. Seriously?!?!?!?!?! So yea I didn't finish going through the search results cuz there were too many. -.-
But in all seriousness, life's too short to not love as much as you're capable of. :D I can't wait to find that someone whom I can pour my abundance of love over. Totes not creepy that I'm talking about someone that's probably non existent haha. Then I think about The Back Up Plan and getting preggers without a partner just because I want to give my love to someone. Or like, getting dogs or cats and becoming an old fashioned spinster. HAHAHA. Ok. I swear I'm normal!!!!
Ok. Seriously. Cranial nerves, lets be friends!
Sun 02:15 24/3/13
Hello!!!! This is gonna be a random post about random things.
1. So. I have a test on Wednesday on Anatomy. And I haven't studied at all. :/ Yesterday I went to town to buy some groceries and bought an iPod-USB cable for 5 euros and thank God it works. And I also got photo frames for the photos I'm gonna give my flatmates. :D Then I did my laundry and cooked and stuff like that and that was my Friday. I cooked er.. noodles that were like kueh tiao but more like the Beaufort Noodle kon lao mian kinda mian, if you get what I mean. And thennn for dinner I pan fried a steak YUM YUM and boiled potatoes and vegies. :D
2. Today I went for volleyball and it wasn't that great. It was ok. I could've spent the time studying but I went to the game which was kind of a bleh because we didn't win, surprise surprise. But at least I got a spin back which means saving 1.80euro on bus fare WHEE. But kinda lame cuz I bought biscuits to break my 20euro note to get change for the bus, so that just means I'm gonna nom nom on the biscuits and get FAT.
3. I finallllyyyyy finished Have A Little Faith by Mitch Albom. Honestly, it's a... powerful book. Well, kinda hesitating on using the verb powerful because it could be nothing to some people. But it was really inspirational to me and thought provoking too. I remember I slept super late (like 4am) one night because I had read a few chapters of the book and was trying to think and apply it to my life but it was hard. Hahaha. But anywho. Now that I've finished it, I want to post about the parts that made me stop to think/go back and reread. There are LOADS of dog-ears in the book marking those parts, and this breaks my rule of loving my books and not bending the pages OR the spine of the book. :0 But there's this one part I would just like to note here which is towards the very end of the book. Erm. Here it is I guess. Oh, the church downtown is a Christian church near the author's house at the time and it's really rundown with a big hole in the roof where the rain can get in. And Henry is the pastor of that church, I Am My Brother's Keeper. And the Reb is the late Rabbi of the author's synagogue.
I thought about his dilapidated church downtown. And I realized that, in someways, we all have a hole in our roof, a gap through which tears fall and bad events blowlike harsh wind. We feel vulnerable; we worry about what storm will strike next.But seeing Henry that day, being cheered by all those new faces, I believe, as theReb once told me, that, with a little faith, people can fix things, and they truly can change,because at that moment, you could not believe otherwise.
And so, although it is cold as I write this, with snow packed atop the blue tarp onthe church roof, when the weather thaws—and it always thaws—we are going to fix thathole. One day, I tell Henry. We will fix that hole. We will shake the generosity tree andraise the funds and replace the roof. We will do it because it needs to be done. We will do itbecause it's the right thing to do.
And we will do it because of a little girl from the congregation who was bornprematurely, weighing only a few pounds—the doctors said she probably wouldn‟t make
it—but her parents prayed and she pulled through and she is now a ball of energy with a
grin that could lure the cookies out of the jar. She is at the church almost every night. She
skips between the tables for the homeless and lets them rub her head playfully. She doesn't
have a lot of toys and she isn't scheduled for countless after-school activities, but she most
certainly has a community, a loving home—and a family.
Her father is a one-legged man named Cass, and her mother is a former addict
named Marlene. They were married in the I Am My Brother's Keeper church; Pastor Henry
Covington did the service.And a year later, along came their precious little girl, who now runs around as if in God's private playground.Her name, fittingly, is “Miracle.”
The human spirit is a thing to behold.
This kinda spoke to me. The part about all of us having holes. It's true lo. Everyone has that thing which brings them down once in a while and makes us cry and hurt. But... the human spirit is a thing to behold. We need to have faith that we can patch this hole up. We don't need to leave it there, an opening for the rain to come in. Haha, I think this really spoke to me because now, for the first time I feel like when I say that I'm standing on my own two feet, in the sense that I can say that it's fine if my close friends back home aren't always there for me because I knowwww that they love me and always have my back, I really do mean it! Before, I was honestly just trying my best and pretending I don't care. But now, I just KNOW that I can run to them when I'm broken. So, I have faith. I'm not scared. :)
4. Can't wait to start a new book!!!! :D
5. Just found out that My Chemical Romance has split up. O. M. GOSSSSHHH. And I just recently started to listen to their music again, the amazing Black Parade is Dead concert in Mexico!!!! SO SAD. They released a new album then POOF. The type of vanishing act that leaves everyone shocked and astounded. I would've loved to see them in concert. Haha btu I'm not worried. Cuz I'm really sure some time down the line, they'll have a reunion concert. (PLEASE DO!)
6. Oh. I don't know if I talked about this, but I was kinda emo when I was about to turn 20. OMG. I'm 20!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO OLDDDD. :'( Hahaha. Not really emo, more like, bogged down. Because I didn't know how I was supposed to act. I felt like I had to change something as I shed my teen self you know? I felt like I had to grow up a little and be less childish. Especially when I'm having a conversation with Andrea who's 22, and I would suddenly say something really silly that I think is really funny then I do that stupid high pitched giggle where, in my mind, I'm high-fiving myself.. then I'll be so stressed because that's not how a 20-year-old is supposed to act. I was talking to Jason about this today. But I think I kinda decided that I can't really change who I am. I'm probably always gonna like stupid jokes on 9gag and applaud dry humour like Sara Bareilles' Sweet As Whole song which actually made me laugh out loud, I'm probably always gonna like watching stuff like Okiku Furikabutte and cheer on Jeremy Lin, saying it's Asian Pride though I don't even watch NBA. I can suppress it and hide it, pretend to be mature. But then hey, life's too short to try and be someone you're not. So this is me, the one who likes weird clothes and bright colours and actually, LITERALLY laugh then clap clap clap my hands when there's a funny joke on New Girl (yes.. -.- I actually do that), and who thinks photos of people who are genuinely smiling with laughter in their eyes are always beautifullllll so I hardly take photos seriously, and who's always soooo cheeky/annoying and screenshots ridiculous photos of people I love when I'm skyping with them. I am this person and I probably always will be. HAHA NEXT!
7. WHEEEE. Got my class hoodies on Thursdayyyyy. :D :D I was SO EXCITED to get them. This is for our class, Dentistry 2017 cuz that's when we graduate (if all goes well). And our slogan at the back says Oral Specialist. HAHA. Due to the fact that it's a pretty heavy sexual innuendo, some chose not to get the slogan on the back. I almost didn't get it as well because I'm such a nice and innocent girl and I don't wanna walk around promoting er.. stuff like that. But then I'm such kid so I was like YOLO and I just got it. So yea, we had class photos as well on that day, but they're gonna have one after the test on Wed cuz some ppl would have been absent on Thursday. It was so fun taking photos oh. Felt like TTSS times when you just walk around with a camera and take photos. -Wistful face--- Those were great fun times. So yea. 'Twas fun!!! Oh and the First Year Pharmacy's hoodie's slogan is "kiss my aspirin" which I thought was pretty funny. hahaha.
So yeaaapppp. Here's the first photo I'm putting on this blog that is NOT from the internet.
Yes. The one with the awkward face and the awkward skirt is me. BAM. Does my face suit my blabbering thoughts? :P
Cheers peepz! It's time to study! I've procrastinated enough on this blog. Seriously man. I've spent hours here and NOW IT'S PAST MIDNIGHT AND I HAVEN'T STUDIED AAAAHHHH!!!!!
Okie bye.
Sun 00:19 24/3/13
Heya! Yes, I've changed my URL again. When this all started back when I was young and had gotten tired of hand-writing my diary cz my entres were so long, I started this blog with the URL geekooutlet. Then after some time, I added a "refined" at the end of it. It marked my decision to grow up slightly and use proper capitalisation and punctuation, instead of just letting everything be small case and using ... to separate sentences. This was inspired by my big sis, Kel, who would always type properly. So I just decided to follow in her footsteps and do the same. :D
Then, I replaced "refined" with "confused". This marked the phase where I was at major crossroads, where I had to make decisions and choose where I wanted to go in life. To study in Melbourne? Followed by what course to study, and where. Honestly, I don't think my decisions have been very wise. I'm sure we can all agree that choosing to leave Melbourne and go back to TTSS, though it was fun and eventful, wasn't the smartest decision. My mum said it was a regression. :/ But anyway. I was so confused for so much of my life. Sighface. Even the me that made the decision of doing Dentistry is still kinda confused. As confused as the me that chose to come to Ireland. Like Kat said, you never know whether the decisions you make are right or wrong, but you just gotta make the most of it, do your best, and not regret!
Finally, we come to the replacement of "confused" with "strive". Honestly, part of me is still unsure about whether where I am in my life now is where I'm supposed to be. But then, I think after all the lying face down on the ground, after all the self-doubt and the low points I've reach, which forced me to drag myself back upwards, I've somewhat come to terms with all of it and can now kinda accept it all. I think I kinda have to thank Denise for this too. I don't think anyone really knows how low I felt a couple of weeks ago. The words I used were "without a purpose" and "hopeless", and I don't know if you know how that really feels. All I can imagine is me standing in this foggy street, where everything I see is blurry and I can't make anything out... directionless. But then Denise gave me a really looong Whatsapp message, telling me off for whinging and feeling sorry for myself and all that. And that message almost broke me, the words really hurt especially since I was already down. But I do see her point, I've said the same things before. Having seen what Melina goes through, (my friend who has cancer in Melbourne), I have said before that we have no right to complain when she, like others out there, can't even sit on the ground without being physically incapable of getting up. Just like what The Frenemy said in Dear Penny, "I have felt so empty in a way that felt selfish for a girl like me, a girl that had hands and feet". Do you get what I'm trying to say?
Anywho. Now I'm fine and back on my feet, thank God, cuz I don't know if I would've had the strength to stay in Ireland if I stayed in the hole any longer. But now, after Denise screamed at me with what seemed like very harsh words at the time, and maybe also because of my birthday presents from my beloved friends (KTPS and Jason), I can see that I am truly blessed. Be grateful, don't complain. :) And also that finally, I can really accept that I have people who have my back, that though we hardly talk, I'm not alone!... I'm not scared of being alone!
All these things, as well as conversations with Jason, made me realise that I really shouldn't complain, I can support my own weight on my two feet!!!! I may stumble and I may trip and I may fall into a deep deep hole and it may hurt so bad and I may feel so lost I want to give up, but... I can do it. And I don't really wanna say this out loud cuz it's kinda.. bleh. Basically, I've stopped Skyping all the time, and it was not by choice. ......... I will slowly get used to it. But I've realised that this has been good for me because I've stopped being so... dependent I guess. I dunno. It feels weird but then I'm not hanging around waiting for the person to come online you know? UGH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING. Also, I've been reading before bed so that's really good too.
I guess what I'm trying to say that, yes, I may still be slightly confused and unsure about whether I'm on the right path. I may not be entirely satisfied that I'm here instead of there. I may struggle being here by myself away from home. But I've come to accept that this is where I am now, that this is what my life looks like now. And so with this acceptance comes with it an acceptance that all I have to do is keep going forward, all I have to do is strive! :)
EXCELSIOR!!!!
Love y'all yo! PEACE OUT.
Thurs 00:35 21/3/13
