UEC OVER.

I didn't really study thaaaat hard. 


I did work hard, but I know what I'm capable of, and that wasn't it. UEC was hard. It was super hard. Some papers were crazyyyyy. Like it got to the point where I just looked at the clock, and I just feel the hopelessness washing over me. The Ad Maths Two objective paper was ridiculous. I probably did a little more than half only, guessed the rest without even looking at the questions and who knows how many of the ones I did I got wrong. Physics was hard it's just not my subject. Chem was embarrassing. My teacher had like hopes for me getting an A. It's pretty much impossible now. Bio was ok because it was the last paper and at that point, I just didn't care much anymore. But I do feel a little heaviness weighing my heart because I didn't really revise, and so there were questions that I knew I've studied before, but couldn't recall the details. So yes that pretty much sums it all up. 


The main thing I wanted to say in this post is that UEC was hard and I probably will end up going to a uni that's not my first choice, or even for foundation or A-levels. But, but, but, but, I don't regret staying for S3. Seriously. Yes, I do wish I could rewind and pull myself together earlier in the year. But well, time doesn't rewind. I don't know where I'm going to go next year. All the unis I applied to, I probably won't get in (like I'm 90% sure I won't get in due to my results). People might look down on me and my choice to stay. 


But honestly, I would do it over again and get the same results if it gave me the same experience I was blessed to have had this year.

UEC

It's almost here!

Indescribable!

The feeling I feel now is indescribable! Oh wait, maybe it's not that hard to describe. I feel... Elated! It's the feeling of incredible happiness! One that comes with the joy of feeling blessed, knowing there're people around you who appreciate you, and most of all, it comes with the knowledge that you have what it takes to make the peopl you love feel happy and appreciated. This is the kind of feeling that makes me think of 'afterglows'. Means it's just the immediate response after a great thing happening. For example, Lee Chong Wei winning. And you get so hyper and you think the world is good. Then your feet touch the ground again. But it's pretty unbelievable cuz I've been feeling really really blessed for a long time. Maybe I'm learning how to be positive and to keep myself happy, to appreciate more, I don't know. But let's get to the point.


K.T.P.S. That's the thing that's giving me this incredible joyous feeling right now. It's us, this friendship between Steph, Pei, Tur and I. It's just been growing stronger as we push past the obstacles and make effort to be close friends for each other. Took a while (like 8 months) but I think we're really back to where it used to be, where it felt so good. And Pei, Tur and I just gave Steph her bday present today. It was a diary and a book with yellow, recycled paper (that looked really rustic) and it had a green cover. And in that green book, we each wrote how we met each other. Some of our stories go back to primary school, and the stories of coincidence and chance are just amazing! How we all came together, it's not chance man! It's God's work!! And after that section, we each wrote stuff about Steph herself. What we thought of her and what we loved about her etc. We've been trying to get it done since her birthday, and we finally did! We gave it to her today. And just now she sent all of us a text saying


'Oh my goshhhh!!! I dont know i'm that easy crying girl lo!! Argh!! I just read finish the one u guys intro. Haven finish yet and i cried like dono what ady. Argh... I didnt want to read finish first cause i with my sis in room, and i dont want they know. Haha!! Thanks thanks thanks thanks girls... Love u all forever and ever and ever.. Cry cry cry... Tears are my best friend in my house for this month i think.. Argh! I'll continue the book soon. When i'm ready! I thought i have immune ady. But still... Hahahahahaha.. Study now. Jia you!:)'


I seriously feel so blessed oh. I felt so so so happy after I read that message. I felt the feeling that you'll feel when (refer to above), just all of them at one go! I think I might be alone in the intensity of my grateful and happy and 'this is so surreal' feelings. But I think it's because I've had a..tough time this year in regards to all these friendship stuff, especially with them. But these past few days, it's been amazing! 


Just the other day, we had a career talk. And both of the Sci classes had to attend. Us four walked to the Lecture Hall together with Feiven and Priscilla. And when we were getting seats, somehow, Feiven and Priscilla didn't sit with us even though we pulled chairs for them. *everything happens for a reason*! Seriously!!! So it was us four, and it was amazing!!! We all chatted and laughed and whispered and joked around. It was really fun! Non of us slept even though we were all complaining about how sleepy we were. There was this guy who talked about Agriculture, but he mainly just spoke about palm oil trees, and he even gave each of us palm oil seeds. We went on to play with the seeds and Steph even named each of them. There was Guluk, Ah Bian and the other two I can't remember. 


It seriously felt like old times. I don't know. I just feel that every piece of the puzzle has fallen into place and things are finally back to how they used to be. 


It feels like the feeling where you believe that friendships actually last.

BROOKS BLOOKS BOOKS.

I've found this really nice blog that reviews books. And it's the main cause of my TBR list increasing exponentially. -.- I can't wait to start!!!!! 

http://booksandmovies.colvilleblogger.com/

4 Weeks.

From today onwards, imma study intensively. I finally feel the pressure and the time shortage. I kinda know I'm actually short of time. 4 weeks to cover all subjects? Well, I just keep praying that I'll be able to put in my best. No regrets!!! I wanna be able to have fun after UEC, with no nagging worries and guilt on my mind that I could've done better. Just..pray for me so I'll have the strength to do this, mentally and physically. I'm gonna have even less contact with my friends than before. Sigh. Gotta be strong! Planned a weekly time table yesterday. Bio and chem today! No regrets!!!!!!!!!

Clara

To sing like no one is listening, to dance like no one is watching, to eat like it won't go straight to my thighs, and to love like I was designed to.

Soh truez.

‎"你以为只有受伤的人才痛吗? 那伤人的那一个呢? 他连喊痛的资格都没有，甚至连关心的资格也没了.." 


*SLAP* STOP BEING SO POOHLISH! QUIT BEING MISO!