I remember in Raleigh, we were in the first week or two of the project phase in this really isolated place, where there's no running water, no electricity, no phone reception, no relief from the heat. It was just hard labour every day. I don't think I minded that very much. It was just the rules that made me want to strangle myself. All the really really tedious rules and everything about health and safety. Omg. The long-o-clock rule was the absolute worst, the hardest one to get used to. Where you absolutely had to get into longs (long sleeved shirt, long pants and socks) at 6pm every evening, even if you hadn't had a shower and are sticky and sweaty all over, even if the sunset hadn't really made it that much cooler at all. It was tough. The second rule that I think was the hardest to get used to was the always wear shoes rules no matter what. That meant even if you were going into a waterfall or whatever. Shoes or sandals must be worn. It's just so frustrating. I guess the fact that Malaysians have never been the type that really stuck to rules didn't help at all. Well, at least my whole experience going to school has been about bending the rules or just flat out breaking them.
Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed the physical challenge, I enjoyed the hard work. But the rules were really suffocating me. And the fact that the other Malaysian guy, Daryl, was really finding it tough to follow the rules kinda made me more annoyed by it. Cuz when other people suffer, I feel it too. But anywho. We were considering going home after the project phase was over, and not participating in the adventure phase. I guess it was cuz we were both from KK, and we could just call up our mums and ask them to pick drive down and pick us up. It was so easy for us to go home. And I remember that I wanted SO BADLY to go see Denise, because she was home from KL but because I joined Raleigh, I wasn't going to get a chance to even see her at all before she had to go back there again. So yea, it was so so so tempting to give up. But of course, in the end we both decided to stay.
And closer to the end of project phase, I was talking to Dec (from Reading) and this subject about going home came up. And I think I asked him whether he would pack up and go home if it wasn't a 15 hour flight home, but just like a couple of hours drive. He said, "Of course not. Because then you'd feel like crap. Cuz you'll be thinking, 'what if I stayed till the end, what would it have been like'". I dunno. It might not make sense to you, but. To a person who's quit stuff before, who has thought about quitting stuff even now, that's just such a simple reason to not let your weakness win.
00:09 Tue 26/2/13
Monday, February 25, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Lent.
Went to church today. I was feeling reallllllyyyyy exhausted from the late night before and also because coffee always makes me feel bad and I had one and a half cups of strong black coffee then, not cuz I wanted to stay awake. But because of... constipation. :P hahaha. Cuz, as we learnt in Raleigh, coffee is a natural laxative. ^_^ haha. So yea. was feeling like crap. And Denise said that's cuz I'm full of crap. HAHA. Can't blame her for saying that, kinda true. :P (See Dummy? I'm always shooooooo forgiving). But yea. I was too tired to really remember what the sermon was about. The priest said something about how the light of the divine is in every single one of us, depends if we choose it or not. That we have the potential? But then modern society, with all the temptations and just how life has become, dampens our potential, diverts us from being the best we can be or something la. Kinda true. Media, the world being so full of sex and drugs and alcohol, all those things are distractions I guess. And it's so hard to be good. :/ But anywhooooo. After communion when we were kneeling and praying, a 5th year dentistry senior, Erica, started crying while she was praying. Wow. My heart went out to her man. She didn't say anything about it after that la. But she was sobbing, not just quiet tears. (On a side note, unfair that she didn't turn red-faced, blotchy, ugly, after-crying face like me. UGHHHHH. She looked perfectly fine after that -.-). But yea. I was beside her and I was praying and just. I dunno. You never know what people are going through. Just pray she will be ok la. Reminded me of how I always get touched by the message in the sermon and kinda tear up sometimes, and how I cried last time during church in Dublin like a kid. Sad. I guess I was really sad and worried. Hope everything is ok for her. And then. After church I don't know. Maybe it's also because of my exhaustion as well, but I felt so hopeless. So lost oh. I've lost myself. :( Who have I become? This person who really can't sit still and study properly. So distracted and unfocused and... lost. I'm not saying exaggerating or saying all these to be like, oh woe is me I can't study. I've always been a daydreamer, could never really study for an hour without my mind wandering off and daydreaming a couple of times. But it's never been this bad. I can't take anything in, I don't know what I'm doing. Genuinely worried that I'm going to fail. And like for the biochem test we had last Thursday, I made a few mistakes that I know of, but even on the day of the test itself and the night before too, I was still so halfhearted, not entirely sure what I was doing, not entirely focused. I just feel like I don't know what ground I'm standing on. Feel so distant from God as well. I tried listening to Christian songs, but it's like. I'm just not connecting to Him. Or maybe I'm just not trying hard enough cuz my mind is not fully present.
And really, something has got to change. It has to. During the course of lunch at Banna Thai with Paul, Erica, Catrin, Sean, Chris, Anita and Vincent, I've decided that, during this lent season, I will give up some things. I will give up: chocolate, crisps, Facebook, my guitar, and sleeping in (because I always abuse the snooze button on my phone till it's just enough time for me to get ready for lectures). Lent is about resisting temptations. Chocolate I know I can live without. But my guitar, Facebook, and gosh, sleep, these things are so distracting and I know I can waste less time on these. And Cat also talked about taking up something. (Joked about giving up chocolate and taking up koropok haha). I guess I'll take up myself. While I try hard to resist all these temptations, I will try and get back on track and find myself. Really. Things have got to change.
I'm gonna take a nap and then study. Hope everyone everywhere is ok, and not feeling as lost and directionless and hopeless as me. Happy chap goh mei too yo. :) :)
16:41 Sun 24/2/13
And really, something has got to change. It has to. During the course of lunch at Banna Thai with Paul, Erica, Catrin, Sean, Chris, Anita and Vincent, I've decided that, during this lent season, I will give up some things. I will give up: chocolate, crisps, Facebook, my guitar, and sleeping in (because I always abuse the snooze button on my phone till it's just enough time for me to get ready for lectures). Lent is about resisting temptations. Chocolate I know I can live without. But my guitar, Facebook, and gosh, sleep, these things are so distracting and I know I can waste less time on these. And Cat also talked about taking up something. (Joked about giving up chocolate and taking up koropok haha). I guess I'll take up myself. While I try hard to resist all these temptations, I will try and get back on track and find myself. Really. Things have got to change.
I'm gonna take a nap and then study. Hope everyone everywhere is ok, and not feeling as lost and directionless and hopeless as me. Happy chap goh mei too yo. :) :)
16:41 Sun 24/2/13
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Worries.
Honestly. How many times can something go wrong while I'm here? I've been to the doctor once, been sick twice (as in, green mucus sick), got a wisdom tooth infection and was put on antibiotics. Now I have a sinus problem that doesn't seem to be going away. And today in the shower, I washed my neck just like any other shower and realised that I have a painful swelling in my neck, slightly towards the right, under my jaw. Seriously. What is wrong with me!! I'm actually quite worried about this swelling though. Hmm, it's not really a swelling. More like a bump. :/ Lymph node? Submandibular gland? sighsighsighsigh. I really can't wait to go home and jut BE WELL. Haha not complaining or anything. Just. Worried. Will see the doctor on Monday if it's still there. :(
My body is rejecting Ireland. -.-
00:35 Sun 24/2/13
My body is rejecting Ireland. -.-
00:35 Sun 24/2/13
Strength.
Absolutely LOVE this blog too. It's so hilarious and true, yet so tough and strong! :)
I don't know, this post really spoke to me. Feels like what Denise tells me, to be my own man. :)
And this is just the resounding words that spoke to me. Sounds like Denise, to be honest, but just way more well-spoken and eloquent. And maybe more compassionate too because Denise just half-yells hahaha.
"Feel pain and high and heartbeat. Let that rain in, good or bad.
You are your own life. You are your own everything. So move, and smile, and release the things you need to and keep the things you have to and wake up every morning honestly being grateful for yourself. And walk up that hill until the sun breaks, forgetting anybody else but you and the things you carry."
Penny.
"You owe it only to yourself, and that is entirely enough."
14:36 Sat 23/2/13
(Credits: the-frenemy.com)
I don't know, this post really spoke to me. Feels like what Denise tells me, to be my own man. :)
And this is just the resounding words that spoke to me. Sounds like Denise, to be honest, but just way more well-spoken and eloquent. And maybe more compassionate too because Denise just half-yells hahaha.
"Feel pain and high and heartbeat. Let that rain in, good or bad.
You are your own life. You are your own everything. So move, and smile, and release the things you need to and keep the things you have to and wake up every morning honestly being grateful for yourself. And walk up that hill until the sun breaks, forgetting anybody else but you and the things you carry."
Penny.
"You owe it only to yourself, and that is entirely enough."
14:36 Sat 23/2/13
(Credits: the-frenemy.com)
Hanging Up.
I have feelings too you know! You can't just take advantage of me just because I'm always there, just because I would bend over backwards to almost always be there for you. Why am I always the person whom people find when they have problems or need advice, but not the person they wanna share their joys with or spend happy times with just because.
-.- But then. Even though I say all this now with lots of annoyance and frustration, I know that at the end of the day I'll still breathe in, breathe out, tell myself to get over myself, sweep it all under my heart, and find you again.
Sat 13:59 23/2/13
-.- But then. Even though I say all this now with lots of annoyance and frustration, I know that at the end of the day I'll still breathe in, breathe out, tell myself to get over myself, sweep it all under my heart, and find you again.
Sat 13:59 23/2/13
Friday, February 22, 2013
Because Everyone Has Their Own Stories.
I'm really in love with this blog oh. Just the random musings, written sometimes very humourously, but always so beautifully. And I absolutely love the Two Weeks In Love series. The series is just so.. raw. No pretension, no facades. :) The posts, some I don't really understand what he's saying, but I finish most posts wanting to know more about the stories. This one is just one of the many that... made my heart gasp. :)
The Nicest Thing.
Two weeks in love. It's heartfelt yo.
23/2/13 03:21 Sat
(Credits: entertainmeorelse.blogspot.com)
The Nicest Thing.
Two weeks in love. It's heartfelt yo.
23/2/13 03:21 Sat
(Credits: entertainmeorelse.blogspot.com)
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Knocked Out Of The Park!
Today was a blessing. :)
After church, got home and I actually took out the ironing board and ironed some of the really crinkled clothes from the last round of washing. It was also cuz my CNY dress (the one I bought for CNY two years ago I think) that I was planning to wear at night was crinkly too. Haha. Ironing is actually fun because it feeds my fake OCD as I can see the crinkly parts getting non-crinkly. Hmm, maybe ironing can be a therapy session for OCD ppl haha.
Then after that, I skyped my parents while eating left over curry from dinner a few nights ago. It was such. a. great. skype. session. They were in Kuching. As always, it was full of cousins and aunties and uncles. The whole day I've been getting all these awesome food and ang pao and cousin photos in the Sleepless Foodies whatsapp group (a totally crazy whatsapp group with like 16 relatives omggg so many ppl, so many PHOTOS every day!). It was after dinner then for them, so they were just sitting around and playing taboo. I actually joined in and it was just so funny listening to them and watching them. I went unheard most of the time. But it was just so.. nice. To hear the banter and the silly laughter my cousins have, to hear the ridiculous description and answers for the game. It was.. normal. Like how it's supposed to be. Just that I wasn't there. Got to talk to my mum and dad, a treat!! And talked to a few aunties and uncles. Including Aunty Ping, so funny the stuff she asked me. "How's Coke?" "It's Cork, not Coke -.-" haha. It was like almost 2 hours of randomness. When I said bye, I was so sad!!! :'( But I was so happy to have skyped with them though. Thank God!!! Thank God man, especially when you think of the circumstances that led to the skype session. It wasn't planned or anything. I was just whatsapping my mum about how long you can keep raw chicken in the fridge for before it goes bad. And she asked to skype. See? God is good. :)
Anyway. After hanging up, watched a bit of the Ireland vs. England rugby 6 Nations game thingy with Edel and the lads and others. (Ireland didn't play so well. Frustrating to watch -.-). Then got ready for Andrea's place and left for dinner wearing my newly ironed CNY dress hehehe. ::PRIDE:: (pride cuz I ironed it. not cuz. it was pretty or anything haha). Andrea had planned the dinner. Picking out the restaurant we would get the food delivered from, getting everyone to let her know what they wanted to order beforehand, ordering the food the day before, buying paper plates and cutlery and such. And she had said that the dinner was to celebrate the first day of CNY as well as my birthday. She had even put a "happy birthday" banner on the wall!!!!! :') Anyway. We waited for everyone to arrive. Kaumal came last after work. She walked in carrying a guitar in a bag. I was sitting on the couch in the living room, and if I looked right, I could be looking at the front door. So I did actually see the guitar. And Sunil, sitting next to me, was like, they're not even doing it discretely. He asked me if I saw it and I said yes, and I just said that I could pretend I hadn't seen it? Haha. In my mind I was like awww, they're gonna use that to sing me a happy bday song!!!
So anyway. Dinner. Yummy food! Had chicken chow mien, thick noodles with sauce. Quite good la. :) Liked the thickness of the noodles. I ate really slowly. -.- Then we were sitting there chatting. Then Kaumal came in and she turned off the lights. And there was an awkward pause, Sam was like "KAUMAL!", and the cake was coming in but hadn't reached the living room yet. No one started singing. So I started singing my own bday song. HAHAHA. It was such a pretty cake oh!!!! And I couldn't think of a wish! I was so nervous under the time constraint to think of a wish before the candles went out! Haha. Photos photos. Group photos using continuos timed shots! FUN!
Then. we were eating cake and stuff. Then I asked Narina to take a photo of me and Sunil and Jesse and Yong. And Sam and Kaumal came in, Kaumal holding the guitar in the bag. And I was like, oooh a song for me! Then Sam took the bag from Kaumal and she handed it to me and was like "nah". My brain loaded for a second and SNAP. "OMGOSHHHH. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!". I was. So. Shocked. So surprised. THEY BOUGHT ME A GUITAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!! Denise, Pei and Tur have got guitars for their bdays and stuff and I always was like "yer, I also want". And now I have one! OMGGGG. SO. SURREAL. I couldn't believe la really. I still kinda can't. I took the guitar out of the bag, they also gave me a cd of guitar tutorials and picks as well. I was so touched I actually kinda cried you know. OMG. A GUITAR! One I can call my own! A nylon stringed guitar. Just. :')
The fact that Sam remembered me mentioning that I really wanted a guitar is really touching. I'm sure I've only said it a couple of times way before this. I only really miss my guitar when I'm homesick, and I was only really homesick before Christmas, closer to the start of uni. Because life is simple when you're just trying to bend your fingers to get a chord, and try and strum and sing at the same time and failing, and saying ouch when your fingers hurt. So when I'm homesick, I'll get emo and listen to songs and be like, I wish I had my guitar (technically my bro's guitar) with me. And she spent a long Friday (my cleaning day) in town looking for my gift.
Wow. Just the thought that they (Sam, Kaumal and Andrea) put in so much effort for my birthday. I feel... so unworthy of it, so surprised that they care enough? I dunno. I don't know what I feel. I just feel so BLESSED man. Seriously did not expect that at all!!!!!!! Maybe it's cuz these ppl, I've only known them for a few months, not even a year. So I don't expect much. If it was Steph walking in with the guitar bag, I probably might've assumed it was my present, because I've known them for so long and we're so close. You know? I dunno. I'm really. Taken aback by all of it. By the fact that they care. :') :') The guitar, for the record, is from Sam, Kaumal, Sunil, Jesse, Andrea, Narina, Adib, Wani, Yong (that's everyone that was there) and also Jerome who's in Dublin I think. I just felt really blessed oh. Really really grateful I could cry. An amazing gift, but most of all, just the thought they put into it.
I know I'm ranting. But I really don't know how to express my gratitude I feel. That feeling when you're just, eyes fly open, jaw drop down, hand fly up to mouth. That SHOCKED feeling. Then the immense rush of gratitude. Maybe it's cuz this is the first time I'm reacting properly to a surprise. Maybe this is what it's supposed to feel like. Whereas all the previous surprises I've gotten were kinda awkward cuz I'm just an awkward human being and don't know how to react and I'm be like. "Ohhhh. Brb, put my bag away. *leaves* *comes back* then THANK YOU." Hahaha.
So yea. That was my first CNY away from home. Yesterday afternoon before the CNY "reunion" dinner with the seniors, I was skyping Jason. I didn't feel anything for CNY at that time yet. As in, I didn't feel like it was actually anything significant for me though I tried to make it so, just because there were no cousins, no crazy non-stop fireworks, no amazing food, no family, no lion dances. And I went on FB after a few days of not going on. And on my news feed, the first three posts were photos and statuses about CNY and the reunion dinners (团圆饭) and the food. And I actually teared up, wanting so badly to be in Kuching with most of my family (Kel is in Korea!), cuz Kuching is epic with the Sunny Hill and the cousins all in a sardine can sleeping on mattresses/stuffed in a car going to eat, and the bbqs and the fireworks. It's such an empty feeling not having all that with me this CNY. But you know, as I scrolled through the news feeds on FB, I realised that it's many people's first CNY from home as well. That we're all going through the same thing. But, we're all making it through. :) I just feel so blessed. My first CNY away from home, away from family, without cousins or ang paos or amazing food or lion dance or any of that. But I made it through, and so did everyone else. And we will continue to do so for the years to come while we finish our education. :) I dunno. We're growing up I guess.
I'm swept away by God's kindness towards me. Air knocked out from me by God's grace! I feel that He's showing me that I can survive here, that I can last here because there are people here who care about me. Really just. Wow.
So. Despite the fact that the very tip of my left forefinger kinda feels a bit blistered due to me YOLO-ing and touching the glass covering the gas fire place in Andrea's house with Kaumal (but oh well YOLO right? :P), today, was an absolute blessing.
Happy CNY people! :D Thank you God.
Mon 03:27 11/2/13
After church, got home and I actually took out the ironing board and ironed some of the really crinkled clothes from the last round of washing. It was also cuz my CNY dress (the one I bought for CNY two years ago I think) that I was planning to wear at night was crinkly too. Haha. Ironing is actually fun because it feeds my fake OCD as I can see the crinkly parts getting non-crinkly. Hmm, maybe ironing can be a therapy session for OCD ppl haha.
Then after that, I skyped my parents while eating left over curry from dinner a few nights ago. It was such. a. great. skype. session. They were in Kuching. As always, it was full of cousins and aunties and uncles. The whole day I've been getting all these awesome food and ang pao and cousin photos in the Sleepless Foodies whatsapp group (a totally crazy whatsapp group with like 16 relatives omggg so many ppl, so many PHOTOS every day!). It was after dinner then for them, so they were just sitting around and playing taboo. I actually joined in and it was just so funny listening to them and watching them. I went unheard most of the time. But it was just so.. nice. To hear the banter and the silly laughter my cousins have, to hear the ridiculous description and answers for the game. It was.. normal. Like how it's supposed to be. Just that I wasn't there. Got to talk to my mum and dad, a treat!! And talked to a few aunties and uncles. Including Aunty Ping, so funny the stuff she asked me. "How's Coke?" "It's Cork, not Coke -.-" haha. It was like almost 2 hours of randomness. When I said bye, I was so sad!!! :'( But I was so happy to have skyped with them though. Thank God!!! Thank God man, especially when you think of the circumstances that led to the skype session. It wasn't planned or anything. I was just whatsapping my mum about how long you can keep raw chicken in the fridge for before it goes bad. And she asked to skype. See? God is good. :)
Anyway. After hanging up, watched a bit of the Ireland vs. England rugby 6 Nations game thingy with Edel and the lads and others. (Ireland didn't play so well. Frustrating to watch -.-). Then got ready for Andrea's place and left for dinner wearing my newly ironed CNY dress hehehe. ::PRIDE:: (pride cuz I ironed it. not cuz. it was pretty or anything haha). Andrea had planned the dinner. Picking out the restaurant we would get the food delivered from, getting everyone to let her know what they wanted to order beforehand, ordering the food the day before, buying paper plates and cutlery and such. And she had said that the dinner was to celebrate the first day of CNY as well as my birthday. She had even put a "happy birthday" banner on the wall!!!!! :') Anyway. We waited for everyone to arrive. Kaumal came last after work. She walked in carrying a guitar in a bag. I was sitting on the couch in the living room, and if I looked right, I could be looking at the front door. So I did actually see the guitar. And Sunil, sitting next to me, was like, they're not even doing it discretely. He asked me if I saw it and I said yes, and I just said that I could pretend I hadn't seen it? Haha. In my mind I was like awww, they're gonna use that to sing me a happy bday song!!!
So anyway. Dinner. Yummy food! Had chicken chow mien, thick noodles with sauce. Quite good la. :) Liked the thickness of the noodles. I ate really slowly. -.- Then we were sitting there chatting. Then Kaumal came in and she turned off the lights. And there was an awkward pause, Sam was like "KAUMAL!", and the cake was coming in but hadn't reached the living room yet. No one started singing. So I started singing my own bday song. HAHAHA. It was such a pretty cake oh!!!! And I couldn't think of a wish! I was so nervous under the time constraint to think of a wish before the candles went out! Haha. Photos photos. Group photos using continuos timed shots! FUN!
Then. we were eating cake and stuff. Then I asked Narina to take a photo of me and Sunil and Jesse and Yong. And Sam and Kaumal came in, Kaumal holding the guitar in the bag. And I was like, oooh a song for me! Then Sam took the bag from Kaumal and she handed it to me and was like "nah". My brain loaded for a second and SNAP. "OMGOSHHHH. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!". I was. So. Shocked. So surprised. THEY BOUGHT ME A GUITAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!! Denise, Pei and Tur have got guitars for their bdays and stuff and I always was like "yer, I also want". And now I have one! OMGGGG. SO. SURREAL. I couldn't believe la really. I still kinda can't. I took the guitar out of the bag, they also gave me a cd of guitar tutorials and picks as well. I was so touched I actually kinda cried you know. OMG. A GUITAR! One I can call my own! A nylon stringed guitar. Just. :')
The fact that Sam remembered me mentioning that I really wanted a guitar is really touching. I'm sure I've only said it a couple of times way before this. I only really miss my guitar when I'm homesick, and I was only really homesick before Christmas, closer to the start of uni. Because life is simple when you're just trying to bend your fingers to get a chord, and try and strum and sing at the same time and failing, and saying ouch when your fingers hurt. So when I'm homesick, I'll get emo and listen to songs and be like, I wish I had my guitar (technically my bro's guitar) with me. And she spent a long Friday (my cleaning day) in town looking for my gift.
Wow. Just the thought that they (Sam, Kaumal and Andrea) put in so much effort for my birthday. I feel... so unworthy of it, so surprised that they care enough? I dunno. I don't know what I feel. I just feel so BLESSED man. Seriously did not expect that at all!!!!!!! Maybe it's cuz these ppl, I've only known them for a few months, not even a year. So I don't expect much. If it was Steph walking in with the guitar bag, I probably might've assumed it was my present, because I've known them for so long and we're so close. You know? I dunno. I'm really. Taken aback by all of it. By the fact that they care. :') :') The guitar, for the record, is from Sam, Kaumal, Sunil, Jesse, Andrea, Narina, Adib, Wani, Yong (that's everyone that was there) and also Jerome who's in Dublin I think. I just felt really blessed oh. Really really grateful I could cry. An amazing gift, but most of all, just the thought they put into it.
I know I'm ranting. But I really don't know how to express my gratitude I feel. That feeling when you're just, eyes fly open, jaw drop down, hand fly up to mouth. That SHOCKED feeling. Then the immense rush of gratitude. Maybe it's cuz this is the first time I'm reacting properly to a surprise. Maybe this is what it's supposed to feel like. Whereas all the previous surprises I've gotten were kinda awkward cuz I'm just an awkward human being and don't know how to react and I'm be like. "Ohhhh. Brb, put my bag away. *leaves* *comes back* then THANK YOU." Hahaha.
So yea. That was my first CNY away from home. Yesterday afternoon before the CNY "reunion" dinner with the seniors, I was skyping Jason. I didn't feel anything for CNY at that time yet. As in, I didn't feel like it was actually anything significant for me though I tried to make it so, just because there were no cousins, no crazy non-stop fireworks, no amazing food, no family, no lion dances. And I went on FB after a few days of not going on. And on my news feed, the first three posts were photos and statuses about CNY and the reunion dinners (团圆饭) and the food. And I actually teared up, wanting so badly to be in Kuching with most of my family (Kel is in Korea!), cuz Kuching is epic with the Sunny Hill and the cousins all in a sardine can sleeping on mattresses/stuffed in a car going to eat, and the bbqs and the fireworks. It's such an empty feeling not having all that with me this CNY. But you know, as I scrolled through the news feeds on FB, I realised that it's many people's first CNY from home as well. That we're all going through the same thing. But, we're all making it through. :) I just feel so blessed. My first CNY away from home, away from family, without cousins or ang paos or amazing food or lion dance or any of that. But I made it through, and so did everyone else. And we will continue to do so for the years to come while we finish our education. :) I dunno. We're growing up I guess.
I'm swept away by God's kindness towards me. Air knocked out from me by God's grace! I feel that He's showing me that I can survive here, that I can last here because there are people here who care about me. Really just. Wow.
So. Despite the fact that the very tip of my left forefinger kinda feels a bit blistered due to me YOLO-ing and touching the glass covering the gas fire place in Andrea's house with Kaumal (but oh well YOLO right? :P), today, was an absolute blessing.
Happy CNY people! :D Thank you God.
Mon 03:27 11/2/13
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