PRIORITIES!!!!!

Know what? I actually found my sis' blog. Haha. SHOCKER. I didn't even KNOWWWWW she blogged or would be the type of person who blogged. Though it is quite outdated and her last post was in 2010, but still! She blogged!!! Kat, if you're reading this, yes I found out. Haha. Don't be astonished. You didn't log out of your gmail.. and you know how blogger is a google thing as well, so when I tried to go into my blog, I was signed in as you. :O 


Well.. I've been reading all the posts, and I've been reminded about all the sad family stuff that went on in 2010. And it kinda emphasizes the same thing I was saying about time. Time makes you forget things. I guess it could be a good thing, letting you move on with your life, but then in a way, it could also cause you to forget a part of your life that was momentous. I don't really know what I'm saying. Like all those sad family stuff, the fighting and such.. it was so horrible. But I'd totally TOTALLY forgotten about it until I read about it in Kat's blog. Hmmm.. brings back bitter memories. But memories nonetheless. Everything's better now, but I don't know if it's cause we're never together as a complete family (as in there's always one or two of us missing) or cause we just learnt to tolerate each other. Haha. MOST PROBABLY the former. The tension has ceased now that we aren't all cramped under one roof. 


The other thing is, reading Kat's blog made me super super sad. Crying kinda sad. I realised that I was never really there for her. Granted, we weren't veryyyy close before, maybe we were before she left to study, but I don't really remember. I guess we were... with all the talking and the sharing and the trusting when the lights are out.. and the running around in Giant with arms spread open and knocking over a plastic container of kaya and having my dad pay for it, feeling super duper guilty and embarrassed. But we only became super close again this holiday when she was back. It was awesomeeeeeee!!! Especially when we could go yam cha together with my friends who were/became her friends. Kinda. Haha. Really nice. And I told her my secrets and on the eve of my birthday we went to drink tea yam cha at two different coffee shops. And she got her ears pierced etc. And she gave me the best birthday presents, things I love. Haha. So I was reading her blog.. then I realised how messed up my priorities were. I always used to put my friends first. Like if I were to go out with my friends, I would just go even if my sis was in KK. Or something like that. Like if there was an event with friends or a dinner with family or something like that, I would choose friends. You know? Then it's only now I know how much I didn't know about my sis. Maybe if we were closer, she might not choose to tell me, she might be disposed to not share, but at least I know that I'd done my part. But I didn't. There's so little I know about her.. And it just made me think of how I listed my priorities. 


But now I know. I've matured! I know that family will always come first. Where are my friends now anyway? I don't even know who I can say is my best friend with 100% certainty that they'll be there for me. Family is unconditional. And that's something that will never change. And the thought of losing any one of them is so frightening I don't even dare to think about it. So now, my priorities have changed. I will always choose family over friends. Eg having dinner at home with dad, spending time with Kat, even if there's an event with friends. Haha. Of course, I can't say that I'll always choose stay home and such. But yea. Haha. 


My brain is a little mushy. Don't really know what I'm saying. Bottom line is, don't wait until it's too late! AND, family is unconditional yo! (given time, it is in the end always unconditional). 


ALSO. I've matured. Like I know what my priorities are! Over here, I've made the mental preparations that I have to study. That my social life will be put on hold. And I know that it's for a few months only, so being alone doesn't really bother me that much. Like usually, I would die inside if I had to sit there and eat lunch by myself, or sit in class by myself. But now I have stepped up, I have to walk into class alone, and find an empty seat alone.. I have to sit there and eat lunch alone (when Elaine's not here).. Things that usually cause my face to burn red in embarrassment, I'm strong enough to deal with. Haha. Yes, I still get a lil embarrassed but who cares you know? Jason Mraz said to not worry your life away. And it's true. Like when I start stressing over what I should wear the next day.. where I should eat my lunch alone and such.. I'll wave the Wrackspurts that're making my brain fuzzy and painful, and just say, who cares if I look like an idiot? Haha. 


ETC. 


Whuuut.