I Started. Now Where Do I Finish?

Hey guys! I'm back! I mean, back on Blogger. Anyway. I'm typing in the dark (like yesterday) because my roommate, Morgan is asleep already. So here's some stuff that you haven't been updated on. =) (ruuunnnnn for cover!!!!!!) 


So just like most boarding houses, I share a room with another girl and will definitely get a single room next year for Yr 12. My roommate goes to a different school than we all do, because apparently she was enrolled into the school and then the boarding shut down. So they came here. Anyway. It's pretty weird I think. I mean, after thinking about it, (yes, thinking) about it, I get the feeling that she's erm.. in a way not genuine. Ok wait. Background information. She's from the country side, just like most of the girls here. Not genuine as in I think she's sort of desperate to be a city girl. But I could be wrong (just like I am on almost everything). Oh well. It's not too bad. But with the huge chop/stamp that has the word 'FAILED' in uge red letters, stamp that onto the relationships I have with the boarders. They're all okay. We do talk about pretty superficial stuff, they are nice. They took pretty good care of me when I first got here. They are all pretty funny. But then just anything other than superficial? Down goes the stamp onto the imaginary line that links me and the other girls. 


It's a big difference. Seriously. It's not that I don't know about these things, it's just that I've never witnessed/experienced it first hand or know the people directly. What 'things' am I talking about? You know. Sex (:O), drinking, andddddd. That's about it I think. I don't know. THOSE things, you know? I was so shocked at how 'exposed' these people are. And they're about the same age as I am! =( To be honest, I actually. Ok. I was chatting and when I came back I forgot what I wanted to say with that sentence. Moving on then. There was this one time I was chatting with one of the boarders on a Friday. I asked her what her plans were and she said she was so angry. She explained that it was because Mrs Kennedy (our boarding supervisor) didn't allow to spend the weekend away. I asked her why and where was she going. She said she was going to stay overnight in her boyfriend's farm (country side too). I was like. Ermmmmm wellll. In my mind I was like 'obviouslllllyyyyyy she'll say no' but I just said something like 'what? Why wouldn't she let you?'. I'm so amused. 


Anyway. I'm really a sore thumb here. Seriously. Half the time I'm not even being myself. Honestly speaking, I'm actually a real geek (hah as if you don't know that already). As in, I could say my favourite subject was Maths. Shocker! Haha. But then when I came here I had to (well.. not had to. I was like) 'oh I have Methods next. Ugh.' or something like that for every maths and sci class when in actual fact those are the classes I most enjoy. I would so rather go for a whole day of logical maths and science classes (well.. maybe not a whole day) than Eng and Lit. Half the time I had to conceal myself and act like I hate maths and science, that I dread it, and that I don't study when I actually do. Oh well. It's gotten better now. They sort of know that I'm smart in a way and yadda yadda. The whole boarding is not maths and science. They're all doing the 'white subjects' as they call it. Like Food Tech, Phys Ed (Physical Education), History and stuff like that. That's fine. The thing is that I think it's hard to relate to them because of that. Sort of. Yea it is actually. But it's not too bad (and please don't think I'm saying those aren't good subjects. Just talking about not being able to relate and stuff). 


Awkward part coming up! You know I was so.. embarrassed about what I believed to be true. You know what I think is true, what is me. Like how I am so geek as to never swear, and.. drumroll, actually AM a Catholic? (Did I mention my school was Catholic?). So we have to go to mass every Sunday together. Ok. Things like praying before meals and actually meaning it, and going to mass, it's all different here. I was so totally worried before. Me? I actually want to go to mass every week. I actually listen to the readings and the priest's sermon. I actually kneel and pray and mean the words in my heart. I was really so worried about mass before. I was so worried so worried. I was wondering how I would be able to look like I don't care but still listen and stuff like that. And of course there was the thought running through my head amongst all this. The thought that goes something like 'You shouldn't be ashamed of those kind of things. You should be proud..' and stuff like that. It was really worrying for me. I did not want to stand out more than I already did. But don't worry. It all ended well. It turns out I could sort of do whatever I wanted. It wasn't too bad. That's a huge relief. 


Well. I'm really tired. Gotta get up for Indo school tomorrow! Gnite world! Stay safe! =)

Where Do I Start?

There're so many things that have happened. And I owe it all to myself that I am so lost and don't even know where to begin. I have thousands of meaningless, foolish rants to share, news that will be entirely new to you, anddddd basically just nothing that comes to anything. =) 


I guess I shall start with where I am now. As you might have found out from the previous post, I am in a boarding house now, in a totally different school. (You must understand that at this very moment that I'm talking, I'm not feeling very content. Shall explain more about this feeling that is NOT love.) So yes, I have transferred school and it's now my third week. So far so good I guess. There are a lot of small differences (ok. Wait. Maybe not THAT small) that I don't really like. I don't know. I'm more of a laid-back kind of girl (a hippy, I told my mum) who doesn't like too many rules binding her down. I guess. I'm not too sure about it. It depends really. I'm too lazy to analyse the full picture. THE POINT IS, I'm now going to a private school. So yes, I'm dressed everyday in this drab uniform which is GREY, the most boring colour when it's by itself, and wearing a blazer. Pfftt I don't even want to mention the tunic. Tunic they call it, when it's a pinafore. Yes. The pinafore that most schools use back home. And it's GREY! Well, to be honest, it actually doesn't look THAT bad, the idea is worst. 


Ok. Pedantic. That's a pretty new word to me, and it definitely applies to the school. I just dislike how most teachers conform to the school rules (it's good in a way I guesssssss ngeh). Like in my old school, when a student was late, it was up to the teacher whether she would need a late pass or not. A late pass. It's pretty much just a paper saying you're late. It doesn't serve any other purpose whatsoever. Back home, being late would mean a demerit or something, but here it just means being even later because you have to GOOOO and get the late pass. In my old some teachers wouldn't ask you to get a late pass, it depends. But so far, ALL the teachers ask you to get a late pass in this school. But it actually does serve a purpose. It is actually recorded down and shows up in your transcript the number of time you've been late. Still. It's pretty annoying. (I know I know. I'm just this foolish girl. It's GOOD that the teachers abide by the rules and everything. Doesn't mean I like it. Ngehhh). 


The boarding house is actually not on campus. So that means I tram down to school every morning. It's pretty inconvenient. And the distance is just a little too far to walk. But it's not so bad I guess. I live in a suburb called Camberwell. It's a pretty nice suburb I guess. It has Borders, so I'm happy. But I don't really have time to go down to the shops or anything (pfft as if I have company to go with). I've only been down once. 


OK MOVING ON. As mentioned in a post before, I have to do 6 subjects in school. I have got to admit, it's not that easy. Means that I'm doing 7 subjects including Indonesian outside of school. I really, really dislike not having any frees to do my work. It's really, really, stressful/annoying/upsetting/STRESSFUL. ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I used to use all my frees to do my homework or do some studying or something. But now I don't have that time I feel so overwhelmed like there's this humongous tidal wave growing higher and higher above my head and it's going to crash down on me soon. It's THAT stressful to me. And my fall-back subject, Literature, is ironically the one giving me the most stress. Seriously? I have Outcomes (like big tests or fake SACs, which are important tests for Yr 12 subjects that go into your average) for Literature lined up. I just had one today and I'm going to have one a week or so later. ARGHHHHH!!!!! It's SO ANNOYING. Ok. Why did I choose Lit as this fall-back subject (ARGHHHHHHHHH)? Well. I was thinking of doing like Food Technology (Home Economics, but just cooking) or something like that, but I thought that it would be a pretty good opportunity to expaannnndddd my knowledge and learn about the classic books and stuff. We're doing The Great Gatsby now which is pretty good, except for the fact that I HAVEN'T FINISHED THE BOOK (and I had a fake SAC today hah) (and that I also have Julius Caesar to read for English). I also don't like the fact that this Lit teacher, Mr. Rooney, is so... not literature. It's so English. But I have a suspicion that I'm prejudiced because I loved Ms. Touvoli's classes from my old school. He is going to make us do oral stuff which is English. And I don't know, it just doesn't really seem like a Lit class. It's just basically English. Like today out fake SAC was a creative response which I don't think you do in Lit. Oh wellllllllll..... I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm broadening my amazingly narrow scope of knowledge. Sniff. 


Anyway, it's 11pm. I'm going to bed. Shocker huh? When did 11pm stop me? Haha. It's another story, for another day (How I Met Your Mother reference!!!!!!!!). Gnite world! 


Reminder: THE feeling empty, people in boarding, lost, books movies list, prefect, piano, food, youngest, refined! 


Note on refined: IN YOUR FACE!!!!!