Geeko Screaming!

Yes! I am here in Kuching! I really want to sleep early, but I just can't say no to my cousins who want to watch a movie later after NaiNai has finished her drama. Gosh. I'm tired already! We went to Bella Italia to eat, it was kind of nice, but the tiramisu wasn't any good. Then we tried our luck with Sunny Hill but it was closed! (I know, sorry Kelly, we let you down! =P) So we went to Scoops, the gelato ice cream. Just normal gelato ice cream. So now we are here, they are all playing their DS-es (they each have one!) while I'm here. So yup.

Ok. So here it is. I've been thinking about who I am, and I still don't know. Seriously. I don't know what kind of person I really am, what I want in life and stuff like that. I have absolutely no idea what I am aiming for when I grow up, what line of work I want to be in. All I know is I am just studying hard to get into a good school in Aus. That is a short term goal. So, coming back to the topic, I have come to the conclusion I am a geek. A total geek. Geeko Outlet was something I came up with long time ago, and it didn't reall yhave any meaning. But now it does have a true meaning. It has beared the meaning, for a long time, Let Out the Geek. And now it really means that to me. Let Out the Geek in You! In me, actually. I am a total geek. I can actually safely say that one of the things I find I most enjoy doing in life is reading. I absolutely enjoy reading books, any kinds of books are ok with me. I really, really like reading books. Hah, I should stop saying that. For exams, I study alot, I study hard. I think it's probably because I want to get good grades. There's actually a reason for that, sort of. I think it's because all my siblings have good results, they all study hard, so if I don't I'll be like, the outcast. So I guess that's the reason why, the foundation of why I study hard to get good grades. Now it's because I want to do well.

But on another note, I sort of regret not getting better grades. I know that according to my friends and from the views of some of my classmates, I'm smart. But there are still loads of people who can get better grades than me. And according to education people who don't know me at all and judge me based on that one piece of report card email-ed over to them, I'm just an AVERAGE student. So, I am happy in a way because I now have a strong drive, a strong motivation to really study hard. I'm totally not there yet, not even close. But I have really improved, if I am to say so myself. I never used to pay much attention in classes (yes, it's true!) but now I force myself to. I study harder (not much really, a little bit harder, I guess?) for exams, but am still far from what I think I can achieve from myself. Sigh. But yay to the improvement so far! But whenever I think back, I still regret (I hate regretting!!!) that I didn't do all these before! Oh well..................

So yes to all. I am a geek. I like to read, I study hard, I like to learn stuff I want to learn, and I want to do well! I love inventive humour, and I'm lucky I don't need specs considering I used to read by really small lights (thank you, carrots!). From Peter and Jane, to Enid Blyton Fairy Tales, to Harry Potter, to all kinds of books. I love reading and I always will! =D =D

Sometimes I consider working in the line of work where books are involved, like editing and stuff like that. But I don't know whether I'll be good at it. Or whether I'll succeed at it. I think that is sort of the easy way out for me. Because I love reading, it is the easiest thing for me to do. I feel totally at ease when reading. So because I don't really want a stressful life where I have to study 24/7 to succeed at my course, or a stressful job, I thought of something to do with books. But then, funnily enough I actually thought of The Lotus Eater, which we did for Eng Lit (the short version). So I'm still unclear. My future and my thoughts about what I want to do for the future is like the sky. With occasional clouds (thoughts and ideas) passing by, but fading at some point. I don't really like the idea of being a doctor, which my parents and sister keep talking about. I like House because the humour is excellent and it's just interesting. But it seems like an OKAY-ISH idea, being a doctor. But I don't know. I don't really want to spend such a long time studying SO, SO hard for SO MANY years, so stressed out all the time. And it's such a huge responsibility. I don't know whether I want that laying on my shoulders. And also a big part of why I'm not really entertaining this Doctor idea is because... because I don't know if I could handle losing someone. Maybe I will be able to, but what if it's someone I love? What if I can't do anything and can't help them? I know you will say that you can't treat someone you know, or something like that. But you can sort of supervise, can't you? And what if you fail? I don't know if I can face it. *breathes*

So yup. I don't know anything. I know I am a spectacle-less geek, I know about Bernoulli's Principle and Mitosis. But me? I have no idea. I'm a nice, honest person. But to what depth? All 3 Dimensions?

HAH! That's all I have to say.

Hello Kuching! I love you! =)