cake, cake and MORE cake

I can't believe I haven't mentioned this before. I had a dilemma. Again, I know. It's annoying, isn't it? With me constantly facing these conflicts. Gosh. But anyway. I suddenly realized that my interschool volleyball competition clashed with my holiday to Aus. It would have been an easy choice to make except there wasn't really alot of 'old' players in our team. So if I left, a new one would have to play. There was another old player who could play as there was 7 of us, but she (Pitza) might have a bsb competition at that time too. So, if Pitza didn't play and neither did I, I was sort of throwing my teammates to fend for themselves with a new player to cover. It might have been an easy choice for others, but I guess I just care too much. I'm a very passionate person. =) Easily falls in love with someTHING, and always wants it to do its best, especially team stuff. So I wanted to be able to do both. But of course, the stupid cake got into my way again. Seriously!!! -.- .

But anyway. There were also other things like, if I burned my ticket to Aus and played, what if we still didn't win? If I went to Aus and didn't play and neither did Pitza, what if they lost? The guilt! If I stayed and Pitza stayed, what if she got to play and I didn't? The ticket is so expensive! Would it be worth it, burning it for just those 3 days? If I went to Aus and they won, I'll be sad because I won't be part of the daerah team. If I left and played, what if I still didn't get chosen for the daerah team? So so so many possibilities, so so so many IFs. What to choose? If only I knew what the outcome would be.

I talked with my team, they all wanted me to stay. But the ticket was expensive. It was actually a cheap fare but it was still money, and alot of it too. I couldn't just burn it and not think twice. I talked with my sisters. Kel said just come to Aus, what is volleyball in KK? Kat wasn't very helpful. Mum was rooting for me to go Aus, but was like, you decide for yourself. -.- Haha.

After thinking and stressing about it for a day and more, it hit me full on that hey, it all comes down to choosing either family and volleyball. It was so obvious then. It just suddenly occurred to me that's what it really was. Family or volleyball and friends? I didn't think twice then. It was sort of like a family trip, in a way. So...

I'M SORRY GUYS. More to myself. Really very much more sorry to myself, actually. Sigh. =( But. GOOD LUCK GUYS! I really hope you guys will win!!! =D Go Go Go!!!! Set, Jessie! And Smash Spikers!!! After all the hard work, make it worth it. And always, always, with a smile, forced or not, on your face!

I'll be jealous and sad too when they all go for daerah. But when I told Turtle this, she said, I'll be beside you, here at school. Haha! It helped, definitely. Thanks Turtle!!! =D *touched!!*

Well. I'm really really sorry to miss the sleepover me and Leepei planned at her house. Sigh.

ANYWAY. Always look on the bright side of life (8) *whistles*.

There'll be so so so so so much homework for me when I get back. I'm already missing about 3 or 4 tests. Gosh. What to do, what to do.

Haha. What to do? Look to the right, where it is the bright side of life. Or the left, where it is ALSO the bright side of life. Hah.

Menang jadi arang, kalah jadi abu. <- something we learned today. I said to Turtle, Menang jadi ali, kalah jadi abu. She said, Huh?