Busy-ness

As I organised my photos, and came across old photos of my 2nd year life, the 4th year me realised that I never ever take pictures like that anymore. 

What happened? 

I never have moments where I felt super happy which was followed by having the urge to snap a picture to capture it. Or maybe I've forgotten how to savour them. It's probably also because we're so busy now. 

We don't have back to back lectures where we can chill in between lectures and chat; we don't leave lectures together, walking back together because now we always have some place else to be. When we finish lectures, we either rush off to clinics or for lunch because we have clinics after. Everyone's finished at different times of the day, maybe you could wait but you're so tired after the day you just want to get home. 

Wow. What has my life become. I used to be the one snapping pictures so often. Just of random people, of random moments. "We're so busy now"- is that really an acceptable reason? :( 

STOP GIRL, and LOOK UP! 

Sunday 6/12/15 01:29

The Past

Today has been a series of events that led up to a moment where... I have to let go. 

I found out a few days ago that my ex has a new girl. I know that it's normal for it to upsetting, but I guess I wasn't expecting myself to be as upset as I was- and why? I don't even know. Even though I don't miss him or anything anymore, and I haven't gotten sad when the thought of him popped into my mind, if I were brutally honest with myself, maybe.. just maybe.. some part of me was still entertaining the idea that one day we'll get back together? I don't know really. But anyway, as I found out how the new girl looked like (IKR, self torture helloooo), it really bummed me out. And I know I know, I would tell myself- we wouldn't have worked out together anyway etc etc etc, but even then, feelings are feelings and I guess I never really knew how to control them. 

On a completely unrelated note, I decided to sort out some of the pictures in my phone because my memory was running out. That led to me sorting out the unsorted pictures that I had in my laptop as well. I'm not even halfway done yet. But I came across some old pictures of when we were together. (Which BTW just goes to show how many years worth of pictures I have to go through :/). It was in a folder that had your name on it. And I looked through some of the pictures, looked at the face I used to know so so well. I contemplated deleting these photos. But I knew that I wouldn't forgive myself for trying to erase a moment of my life. (Since I believe that, foolish as it may be, that no matter what happens to us, the bad things as well as the good things, these make up our life, these make US up.) And so, I changed the name of the folder to The Past. And nowwww I hope that I will get over this bummer- for YOU ARE IN THE PAST. 

blah 

Sunday 6/12/15 01:19